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Consciousness Level Testing/Raising, Energy Healing, and Beyond.

 
calin  (OP)

User ID: 998847
United States
07/01/2011 09:07 AM
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hi,


hugs:)



hf
 Quoting: utopia


Nice to see you!!! This brought a smile to me! My first for the morning!
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 09:41 AM
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bump
...for the fun of it!

5ahfhfhfhfhfhfhf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 950249


This thread, every night, has been a blessing before going to bed. I enjoy the video's that make me laugh and seeing the interaction between people who are doing their best to find 'their way' through the confusion of everyday life. The sincerity, appreciation and love towards one other has been uplifting and beautiful to witness.

Tonight I happened to read back a few pages and see the discussion regarding the disappearance of another thread. While I have read parts of the thread under discussion, I have not followed it closely, nor understand the circumstances of what occurred. I try to avoid interfering in things of which I have no understanding. However, as I tried to sleep tonight I realized that I could not keep silent. My normal happy state of being has been overshadowed by a feeling of sadness.... and THAT I do understand.

I feel saddened by the lack of basic kindness shown toward one another. If there was a difference of opinion (we are human and this is inevitable) it would have been kinder to state it shortly and move on. Find what you do resonate with and follow it until it no longer serves it purpose, then move on. I ask myself, what was the purpose of making public a discussion that (from the reply apparently) could have been made via personal email? Nobody wants their dirty laundry aired in public. Whether true or not, it is embarrassing. Please ask yourself, "was this discussion overall more helpful or hurtful?" I feel hypocritical posting my opinions here, but I will admit that I am a GLP dork and have no idea how to go about getting someone's email. Perhaps you have to be a paid member?? It is not my intention to cause anymore hurt than obviously has been created but rather to (hopefully) shed love on a dark situation.

We all slip up. We all have ego's. We all are facing the same struggle...but from different angles. Please try to keep in mind that no one is perfect... but we are ALL trying. If We, the Seekers of Light and joy cannot help one another...then hope is lost. There is enough hurt in this world as it is...let's not add to the pile.

Lastly, I am disappointed to see that (for reasons justified or not) one of our own has been hurt enough to withdraw his/her contributions. These threads are about sharing and growing together. The loss of one, is a loss for all. The 108 Stories thread was a gem among the mass of doom... and will be missed. Many of the verses I emailed on to friends and took the time to write down in my personal book for reflection.

I am sure I am not speaking merely for myself but for many, when I give sincere appreciation for all the people who are putting their time, energy and awareness into this community. A community like all societies, that has it's ups and down. May we support each other and go forward to seek the path of light and love for all!

(I apologize for the novel...but couldn't figure out how to make it any shorter. And as I mentioned earlier, it is WAY past my bedtime so I am not as clear as I'd prefer to be.)

hfhfpeacehfhfpeacehfhfpeacehf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 950249

Thank you for sharing what is in your heart with us!

The zen stories - anywhere from 100 to 2000 - can be found just by googling. Try Zen stories or zen quotes ... anything similar.

If one looks at things from a different focus, one might find joy in the very thing that created sadness originally.

For example, the removal of the zen stories from Adonai's thread, which are centuries old, can be retrieved by anyone.

If you enjoy something, go pursue more of it. Why wait for someone to feed it to you - drip by drip... or by accessing it only this way or that way? Now...here is the joy part..... why not start your own zen stories thread? How fun it that? Or, just add some every now and then here for all of us to enjoy? See? Instant joy from something that created a disturbance to your senses. Lemonade from lemons!

Adonai and I gave bits of that type of wisdom on our threads and it brought a certain joy to the reader. Anyone could pursue more joy in that form. They are available to the public freely. Sometimes it is in searching that we find the sheer joy of finding gems that please us.

It is within oneself that we find our happiness. One never has to depend on anyone else for their happiness or joy!

I invite you to share some things that bring you joy here. Let's all get in the action of spreading joy!!! woo - hoo! woohoo


Anthony de Mello - Awareness pt.17 negative feelings


Last Edited by calin on 07/01/2011 10:37 AM
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 09:52 AM
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I noticed the comments regarding this commercial, but I saw something different. Most see this as comical and weird. I see it as clever, inspiring and a message about people aligning with other peoples frequency of joy. What do you see?.....




Last Edited by calin on 07/01/2011 09:52 AM
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 10:01 AM
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I monitor my ph balance daily. Here is why.....



Uploaded by maestroelearning on Oct 29, 2008



Wellness Works was created by a talented team that has been changing lives for decades in the fields of Nutrition, Exercise Physiology, Behavioral Science, and Education.

Team members hold advanced degrees in their field as well as certifications from:
- The American College of Sports Medicine
- The National Academy of Sports Medicine
- The American Council on Exercise
- The National Strength and Conditioning Association.

Wellness Works was originally developed as a tool for educating employees and is currently used by Fortune 500 companies to form the backbone for their corporate wellness programs.

Due to popular demand, Wellness Works is being made available to the general public at the Wellness Works Learning Community—to learn more, click here:

Last Edited by calin on 07/01/2011 10:44 AM
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
07/01/2011 10:52 AM
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Re: Consciousness Level Testing/Raising, Energy Healing, and Beyond.
Could you kindly give me a calibration please? Thanks in advance!
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 11:01 AM
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Could you kindly give me a calibration please? Thanks in advance!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1450740


Oh sure! Welcome! New here? If you aren't, pardon me... I don't remember numbers so good!

I am getting 876 for you right now. Does this resonate with you?

Can you share a bit about you? I am interested! I think I already know some.... let me guess.... you are from Australia! HA! (having a bit of fun!)

hf
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

User ID: 1350324
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07/01/2011 11:45 AM
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Re: Consciousness Level Testing/Raising, Energy Healing, and Beyond.
He tells you how to disengage from the "me" and ego.....

He suggests that we look at the last time we were angry and search for the fear behind it... what were we afraid of loosing?... what were we afraid of getting taken away from us? ....

parts 20 & 21. fear the root of violence, and, awareness and contact with reality

..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

User ID: 1350324
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07/01/2011 12:05 PM
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Here he shows us how we are not "aware" of what we hear or what we say often times.... I do this too! Do you?


"What you are aware of, you are in control of. What you are not aware of is in control of you."

part 22a. good religion – the antithesis of unawareness (1 of 2)





Find out why he says this.... "When I am listening to you, it's infinitely more important for me to listen to me than to listen to you."


part 22b. good religion – the antithesis of unawareness (2 of 2)


Last Edited by calin on 07/01/2011 12:08 PM
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 12:56 PM
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Wisdom of Chief Seattle


..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 01:09 PM
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Where’s the Fire?

There was a man who invented the art of making fire. He took his tools and went to a tribe in the north, where it was very cold, bitterly cold. He taught the people there to make fire. The people were very interested. He showed them the uses to which they could put fire: they could cook, could keep themselves warm, etc. They were so grateful that they had learned the art of making fire. But before they could express their gratitude to the man, he disappeared. He wasn’t concerned with getting their recognition or gratitude; he was concerned about their well-being. He went to another tribe, where he again began to show them the value of his invention. People were interested there too, a bit too interested for the peace of mind of their priests, who began to notice that this man was drawing crowds and they were losing their popularity. So they decided to do away with him. They poisoned him, crucified him, put it any way you like. But they were afraid now that the people might turn against them, so they were very wise, even wily. Do you know what they did? They had a portrait of the man made and mounted it on the main altar of the temple. The instruments for making fire were placed in front of the portrait, and the people were taught to revere the portrait and to pay reverence to the instruments of fire, which they dutifully did for centuries. The veneration and the worship went on, but there was no fire.

Where’s the fire? Where’s the love? Where’s the freedom? This is what spirituality is all about. Tragically, we tend to lose sight of this, don’t we? This is what Jesus Christ is all about. But we overemphasized the “Lord, Lord,” didn’t we? Where’s the fire? And if worship isn’t leading to the fire, if adoration isn’t leading to love, if the liturgy isn’t leading to a clearer perception of reality, if God isn’t leading to life, of what use is religion except to create more division, more fanaticism, more antagonism? It is not from lack of religion in the ordinary sense of the word that the world is suffering, it is from lack of love, lack of awareness. And love is generated through awareness and through no other way, no other way. Understand the obstructions you are putting in the way of love, freedom, and happiness and they will drop. Turn on the light of awareness and the darkness will disappear.
by Anthony De Mello
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
07/01/2011 01:16 PM
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Could you kindly give me a calibration please? Thanks in advance!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1450740


Oh sure! Welcome! New here? If you aren't, pardon me... I don't remember numbers so good!

I am getting 876 for you right now. Does this resonate with you?

Can you share a bit about you? I am interested! I think I already know some.... let me guess.... you are from Australia! HA! (having a bit of fun!)

hf
 Quoting: calin


Thanks for your time! Is the calibration on the scale of 0-1000, with (Jesus/Buddha) being at 1000? If so then I am quite happy.

Btw, I am a 23 yo male (you probably already guessed this). My main life goals are to be peaceful and loving. But I am still trying to find ways to live my life from the heart. Right now I feel like I'm going nowhere and not being of use to anyone, because I am most comfortable being alone and not feeling the lower emotions around others. I'm also still stuck trying to deal with my own 'ego' and desire for money. To others my life is probably extremely stagnant and boring but I feel so much from the people in the world around me that I don't need my own problems to feel depressed about. Sorry for being a downer but that's how I see myself.
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 01:25 PM
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Dead Ahead

I’ve often said to people that the way to really live is to die. The passport to living is to imagine yourself in your grave. Imagine that you’re lying in your coffin. Any posture you like. In India we put them in cross-legged. Sometimes they’re carried that way to the burning ground. Sometimes, though, they’re lying flat. So imagine you’re lying flat and you’re dead. Now look at your problems from that viewpoint. Changes everything, doesn’t it?

What a lovely, lovely meditation. Do it every day if you have the time. It’s unbelievable, but you’ll come alive. I have a meditation about that in a book of mine, Wellsprings. You see the body decomposing, then bones, then dust. Every time I talk about this, people say, “How disgusting”! But what’s so disgusting about it? It’s reality, for heaven’s sake. But many of you don’t want to see reality. You don’t want to think of death. People don’t live, most of you, you don’t live, you’re just keeping the body alive. That’s not life. You’re not living until it doesn’t matter a tinker’s damn to you whether you live or die.

At that point you live. When you’re ready to lose your life, you live it. But if you’re protecting your life, you’re dead. If you’re sitting up there in the attic and I say to you, “Come on down”! and you say, “Oh no, I’ve read about people going down stairs. They slip and they break their necks; it’s too dangerous”. Or I can’t get you to cross the street because you say, “You know how many people get run over when they cross the street”? If I can’t get you to cross a street, how can I get you to cross a continent?

And if I can’t get you to peep out of your little narrow beliefs and convictions and look at another world, you’re dead, you’re completely dead; life has passed you by. You’re sitting in your little prison, where you’re frightened; you’re going to lose your God, your religion, your friends, all kinds of things. Life is for the gambler, it really is. That’s what Jesus was saying. Are you ready to risk it? Do you know when you’re ready to risk it? When you’ve discovered that, when you know that this thing that people call life is not really life. People mistakenly think that living is keeping the body alive.

So love the thought of death, love it. Go back to it again and again. Think of the loveliness of that corpse, of that skeleton, of those bones crumbling till there’s only a handful of dust. From there on, what a relief, what a relief. Some of you probably don’t know what I’m talking about at this point; you’re too frightened to think of it. But it’s such a relief when you can look back on life from that perspective.

Or visit a graveyard. It’s an enormously purifying and beautiful experience. You look at this name and you say, “Gee, he lived so many years ago, two centuries ago; he must have had all the problems that I have, must have had lots of sleepless nights. How crazy, we live for such a short time. An Italian poet said, “We live in a flash of light; evening comes and it is night forever”. It’s only a flash and we waste it.

We waste it with our anxiety, our worries, our concerns, our burdens. Now, as you make that meditation, you can just end up with information; but you may end up with awareness. And in that moment of awareness, you are new. At least as long as it lasts. Then you’ll know the difference between information and awareness.

An astronomer friend was recently telling me some of the fundamental things about astronomy. I did not know, until he told me, that when you see the sun, you’re seeing it where it was eight and a half minutes ago, not where it is now. Because it takes a ray of the sun eight and a half minutes to get to us. So you’re not seeing it where it is; it’s now somewhere else. Stars, too, have been sending light to us for hundreds of thousands of years.

So when we’re looking at them, they may not be where we’re seeing them; they may be somewhere else. He said that, if we imagine a galaxy, a whole universe, this earth of ours would be lost toward the tail end of the Milky Way; not even in the center. And every one of the stars is a sun and some suns are so big that they could contain the sun and the earth and the distance between them. At a conservative estimate, there are one hundred million galaxies! The universe, as we know it, is expanding at the rate of two million miles a second.

I was fascinated listening to all of this, and when I came out of the restaurant where we were eating, I looked up there and I had a different feel, a different perspective on life. That’s awareness. So you can pick all this up as cold fact (and that’s information), or suddenly you get another perspective on life – what are we, what’s this universe, what’s human life? When you get that feel, that’s what I mean when I speak of awareness.

By: Anthony de Mello
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

User ID: 1350324
United States
07/01/2011 01:38 PM
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Re: Consciousness Level Testing/Raising, Energy Healing, and Beyond.
Could you kindly give me a calibration please? Thanks in advance!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1450740


Oh sure! Welcome! New here? If you aren't, pardon me... I don't remember numbers so good!

I am getting 876 for you right now. Does this resonate with you?

Can you share a bit about you? I am interested! I think I already know some.... let me guess.... you are from Australia! HA! (having a bit of fun!)

hf
 Quoting: calin


Thanks for your time! Is the calibration on the scale of 0-1000, with (Jesus/Buddha) being at 1000? If so then I am quite happy.

Btw, I am a 23 yo male (you probably already guessed this). My main life goals are to be peaceful and loving. But I am still trying to find ways to live my life from the heart. Right now I feel like I'm going nowhere and not being of use to anyone, because I am most comfortable being alone and not feeling the lower emotions around others. I'm also still stuck trying to deal with my own 'ego' and desire for money. To others my life is probably extremely stagnant and boring but I feel so much from the people in the world around me that I don't need my own problems to feel depressed about. Sorry for being a downer but that's how I see myself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1450740


I found your post beautiful... not a downer at all my friend. It was from your heart.

You may not know this if you have not been on this thread until recently, but I find that we are not bounded in consciousness. Meaning, the 1000 level is a bounded paradigm which does not reflect what consciousness is and it's scope.

I use the Hawkins LOC as it has an attractor field where we are able to extract one's LOC levels. It is in place.

You indeed are more aware than the average unaware - yes! Big time!

There may be some things here that may set you off on a joyous different perspective - like you are going "somewhere". Look about a bit and let me know if anything resonates and stimulates you. Lots of things to choose from!

It is all good!

Jump in and chat anytime!
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 03:54 PM
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We have some friends here that have slow dial up internet service and are not able to view the You Tubes. I will post in word version many of Anthony de Mello's YT videos... piece by piece. I know you will enjoy them!

If you have already viewed some of videos I started posting in the series, here is your chance to review... or pass along! More videos to come...........
******************************************************



On Waking Up

Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know, all mystics – Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion – are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.

Last year on Spanish television I heard a story about this gentleman who knocks on his son’s door. “Jaime”, he says, “wake up”! Jaime answers, “I don’t want to get up, Papa”. The father shouts, “Get up, you have to go to school”. Jaime says, “I don’t want to go to school”. “Why not”? asks the father. “Three reasons”, says Jaime. “First, because it’s so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school”. And the father says, “Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster”. Wake up, wake up! You’ve grown up. You’re too big to be asleep. Wake up! Stop playing with your toys.

Most people tell you they want to get out of kindergarten, but don’t believe them. Don’t believe them! All they want you to do is to mend their broken toys. “Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success”. This is what they want; they want their toys replaced. That’s all. Even the best psychologist will tell you that, that people don’t really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.

Waking up is unpleasant, you know. You are nice and comfortable in bed. It’s irritating to be woken up. That’s the reason the wise guru will not attempt to wake people up. I hope I’m going to be wise here and make no attempt whatsoever to wake you up if you are asleep. It is really none of my business, even though I say to you at times, “Wake up!” My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance. If you profit from it, fine; if you don’t, too bad! As the Arabs say, “The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the gardens”.

by: Anthony de Mello

Last Edited by calin on 07/01/2011 03:55 PM
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 03:57 PM
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Re: Consciousness Level Testing/Raising, Energy Healing, and Beyond.
Will I Be Help To You?

Do you think I am going to help anybody? No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Don’t expect me to be of help to anyone. Nor do I expect to damage anyone. If you are damaged, you did it; and if you are helped, you did it. You really did! You think people help you? They don’t. You think people support you? They don’t.

There was a woman in a therapy group I was conducting once. She was a religious sister. She said to me, “I don’t feel supported by my superior”. So I said, “What do you mean by that”? And she said, “Well, my superior, the provincial superior, never shows up at the novitiate where I am in charge, never. She never says a word of appreciation”. I said to her, “All right let’s do a little role playing. Pretend I know your provincial superior. In fact, pretend I know exactly what she thinks about you.

So I say to you (acting the part of the provincial superior), ‘You know, Mary, the reason I don’t come to that place you’re in is because it is the one place in the province that is trouble-free, no problems. I know you’re in charge, so all is well.’ How do you feel now”? She said, “I feel great”. Then I said to her, “All right, would you mind leaving the room for a minute or two? This is part of the exercise”. So she did. While she was away, I said to the others in the therapy group, “I am still the provincial superior, O.K.?

Mary out there is the worst novice director I have ever had in the whole history of the province. In fact, the reason I don’t go to the novitiate is because I can’t bear to see what she is up to. It’s simply awful. But if I tell her the truth, it’s only going to make those novices suffer all the more. We are getting somebody to take her place in a year or two; we are training someone. In the meantime I thought I would say those nice things to her to keep her going. What do you think of that”?

They answered, “Well, it was really the only thing you could do under the circumstances”. Then I brought Mary back into the group and asked her if she still felt great. “Oh yes”, she said. Poor Mary! She thought she was being supported when she wasn’t. The point is that most of what we feel and think we conjure up for ourselves in our heads, including this business of being helped by people.

Do you think you help people because you are in love with them? Well, I’ve got news for you. You are never in love with anyone. You’re only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Take a minute to think about that: You are never in love with anyone, you’re in love with your prejudiced idea of that person. Isn’t that how you fall out of love? Your idea changes, doesn’t it? “How could you let me down when I trusted you so much”? you say to someone. Did you really trust them? You never trusted anyone. Come off it!

That’s part of society’s brainwashing. You never trust anyone. You only trust your judgment about that person. So what are you complaining about? The fact is that you don’t like to say, “My judgment was lousy”. That’s not very flattering to you, is it? So you prefer to say, “How could you have let me down”? So there it is: People don’t really want to grow up, people don’t really want to change, people don’t really want to be happy. As someone so wisely said to me, “Don’t try to make them happy, you’ll only get in trouble. Don’t try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it irritates the pig”.

Like the businessman who goes into a bar, sits down, and sees this fellow with a banana in his ear – a banana in his ear! And he thinks, “I wonder if I should mention that to him. No, it’s none of my business”. But the thought nags at him. So after having a drink or two, he says to the fellow, “Excuse me, ah, you’ve got a banana in your ear”. The fellow says, “What”? The businessman repeats, “You’ve got a banana in your ear. “Again the fellow says, “What was that”? “You’ve got a banana in your ear!” the businessman shouts. “Talk louder”, the fellow says, “I’ve got a banana in my ear!” So it’s useless. “Give up, give up, give up”, I say to myself. Say your thing and get out of here. And if they profit, that’s fine, and if they don’t, too bad!

By: Anthony de Mello
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 03:59 PM
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On The Proper Kind of Selfishness

The first thing I want you to understand, if you really want to wake up, is that you don’t want to wake up. The first step to waking up is to be honest enough to admit to yourself that you don’t like it. You don’t want to be happy. Want a little test? Let’s try it. It will take you exactly one minute. You could close your eyes while you’re doing it or you could keep them open. It doesn’t really matter.

Think of someone you love very much, someone you’re close to, someone who is precious to you, and say to that person in your mind, “I’d rather have happiness than have you”. See what happens. “I’d rather be happy than have you. If I had a choice, no question about it, I’d choose happiness”. How many of you felt selfish when you said this? Many, it seems. See how we’ve been brainwashed? See how we’ve been brainwashed into thinking, “How could I be so selfish”? But look at who’s being selfish. Imagine somebody saying to YOU, “How could you be so selfish that you’d choose happiness over me”? Would you not feel like responding, “Pardon me, but how could YOU be so selfish that YOU would demand I choose you above my own happiness?!”

A woman once told me that when she was a child her Jesuit cousin gave a retreat in the Jesuit church in Milwaukee. He opened each conference with the words: “The test of love is sacrifice, and the gauge of love is unselfishness”. That’s marvelous! I asked her, “Would you want me to love you at the cost of my happiness”? “Yes”, she answered. Isn’t that delightful? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? SHE would love me at the cost of HER happiness and I would love her at the cost of MY happiness, and so you’ve got two unhappy people, but LONG LIVE LOVE!

By: Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:00 PM
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On Wanting Happiness

I was saying that we don’t want to be happy. We want other things. Or let’s put it more accurately: We don’t want to be unconditionally happy. I’m ready to be happy provided I have this and that and the other thing. But this is really to say to our friend or to our God or to anyone, “You are my happiness. If I don’t get you, I refuse to be happy”. It’s so important to understand that. We cannot imagine being happy without those conditions. That’s pretty accurate. We cannot conceive of being happy without them. We’ve been taught to place our happiness in them.

So that’s the first thing we need to do if we want to come awake, which is the same thing as saying: if we want to love, if we want freedom, if we want joy and peace and spirituality. In that sense, spirituality is the most practical thing in the whole wide world. I challenge anyone to think of anything more practical than spirituality as I have defined it- — not piety, not devotion, not religion, not worship, but spirituality — -waking up, waking up! Look at the heartache everywhere, look at the loneliness, look at the fear, the confusion, the conflict in the hearts of people, inner conflict, outer conflict.

Suppose somebody gave you a way of getting rid of all of that? Suppose somebody gave you a way to stop that tremendous drainage of energy, of health, of emotion that comes from these conflicts and confusion. Would you want that? Suppose somebody showed us a way whereby we would truly love one another, and be at peace, be at love. Can you think of anything more practical than that? But, instead, you have people thinking that big business is more practical, that politics is more practical, that science is more practical. What’s the earthly use of putting a man on the moon when we cannot live on the earth?
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:18 PM
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Are We Talking About Psychology in This Spiritual Course

Is psychology more practical than spirituality? Nothing is more practical than spirituality. What can the poor psychologist do? He can only relieve the pressure. I’m a psychologist myself, and I practice psychotherapy, and I have this great conflict within me when I have to choose sometimes between psychology and spirituality. I wonder if that makes sense to anybody here. It didn’t make sense to me for many years.

I’ll explain. It didn’t make sense to me for many years until I suddenly discovered that people have to suffer enough in a relationship so that they get disillusioned with all relationships. Isn’t that a terrible thing to think? They’ve got to suffer enough in a relationship before they wake up and say, “I’m sick of it! There must be a better way of living than depending on another human being”. And what was I doing as a psychotherapist? People were coming to me with their relationship problems, with their communication problems, etc., and sometimes what I did was a help.

But sometimes, I’m sorry to say, it wasn’t, because it kept people asleep. Maybe they should have suffered a little more. Maybe they ought to touch rock bottom and say, “I’m sick of it all. ” It’s only when you’re sick of your sickness that you’ll get out of it. Most people go to a psychiatrist or a psychologist to get relief. I repeat: to get relief. Not to get out of it.

There’s the story of little Johnny who, they say, was mentally retarded. But evidently he wasn’t, as you’ll learn from this story. Johnny goes to modeling class in his school for special children and he gets his piece of putty and he’s modeling it. He takes a little lump of putty and goes to a corner of the room and he’s playing with it. The teacher comes up to him and says, “Hi, Johnny”. And Johnny says, “Hi”. And the teacher says, “What’s that you’ve got in your hand”? And Johnny says, “This is a lump of cow dung”. The teacher asks, “What are you making out of it”? He says, “I’m making a teacher”.

The teacher thought, “Little Johnny has regressed”. So she calls out to the principal, who was passing by the door at that moment, and says, “Johnny has regressed”.

So the principal goes up to Johnny and says, “Hi, son”. And Johnny says, “Hi”. And the principal says, “What do you have in your hand”? And he says, “A lump of cow dung”. “What are you making out of it”? And he says, “A principal”.

The principal thinks that this is a case for the school psychologist. “Send for the psychologist!”

The psychologist is a clever guy. He goes up and says, “Hi”. And Johnny says, “Hi”. And the psychologist says, “I know what you’ve got in your hand”. “What”? “A lump cow dung”. Johnny says, “Right”. “And I know what you’re making out of it”. “What”? “You’re making a psychologist”.

“Wrong. Not enough cow dung!”

And they called him mentally retarded! The poor psychologists, they’re doing a good job. They really are. There are times when psychotherapy is a tremendous help, because when you’re on the verge of going insane, raving mad, you’re about to become either a psychotic or a mystic. That’s what the mystic is, the opposite of the lunatic. Do you know one sign that you’ve woken up? It’s when you are asking yourself, “Am I crazy, or are all of them crazy”? It really is.

Because we are crazy. The whole world is crazy. Certifiable lunatics! The only reason we’re not locked up in an institution is that there are so many of us. So we’re crazy. We’re living on crazy ideas about love, about relationships, about happiness, about joy, about everything. We’re crazy to the point, I’ve come to believe, that if everybody agrees on something, you can be sure it’s wrong! Every new idea, every great idea, when it first began was in a minority of one.

That man called Jesus Christ – minority of one. Everybody was saying something different from what he was saying. The Buddha – minority of one. Everybody was saying something different from what he was saying. I think it was Bertrand Russell who said, “Every great idea starts out as a blasphemy”. That’s well and accurately put. You’re going to hear lots of blasphemies during these days. “He hath blasphemed!” Because people are crazy, they’re lunatics, and the sooner you see this, the better for your mental and spiritual health.

Don’t trust them. Don’t trust your best friends. Get disillusioned with your best friends. They’re very clever. As you are in your dealings with everybody else, though you probably don’t know it. Ah, you’re so wily, and subtle, and clever. You’re putting on a great act.

I’m not being very complimentary here, am I? But I repeat: You want to wake up. You’re putting on a great act. And you don’t even know it. You think you’re being so loving. Ha! Whom are you loving? Even your self-sacrifice gives you a good feeling, doesn’t it? “I’m sacrificing myself! I’m living up to my ideal”. But you’re getting something out of it, aren’t you? You’re always getting something out of everything you do, until you wake up.

So there it is: step one. Realize that you don’t want to wake up. It’s pretty difficult to wake up when you have been hypnotized into thinking that a scrap of old newspaper is a check for a million dollars. How difficult it is to tear yourself away from that scrap of old newspaper.

By: Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2011 04:18 PM
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hello calin,

i give permission for a reading and thanks in advance.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1440580


Welcome!

I am getting about 850. Does this resonate with you?

Can you share a bit about yourself? Would love to hear it!

hf
 Quoting: calin




thank you for the reading. I humbly accept this high confirmation. I feel that my daily meditations, my attempt to treat others as myself and with accepting and forgiving my past mistakes are paying off!

In addition I have had AIDS for 27 years and am looking for ways to heal myself. Any advice for this specific condition? God bless you, rob


hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1440580


Thank you for sharing.

You rob have just entangled with everyone here. By sharing a little about you, you have allowed us to have a deeper connection - which is accompanied by feelings. Also a deeper understanding of the absolute awesomeness of you!

Get the sense of connectedness?

I do so enjoy everyone sharing about themselves. We all then get the chance to see how really marvelous each one of us are.

I will think on the condition. I feel all conditions are temporary. Would you like something to study and do on your own?
 Quoting: calin




Yes, thank you I would.
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:20 PM
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Neither Is Renunciation The Solution

Anytime you’re practicing renunciation, you’re deluded. How about that! You’re deluded. What are you renouncing? Anytime you renounce something, you are tied forever to the thing you renounce. There’s a guru in India who says, “Every time a prostitute comes to me, she’s talking about nothing but God. She says I’m sick of this life that I’m living. I want God. But every time a priest comes to me he’s talking about nothing but sex”. Very well, when you renounce something, you’re stuck to it forever. When you fight something, you’re tied to it forever. As long as you’re fighting it, you are giving it power. You give it as much power as you are using to fight it.

This includes communism and everything else. So you must “receive” your demons, because when you fight them, you empower them. Has nobody ever told you this? When you renounce something, you’re tied to it. The only way to get out of this is to see through it. Don’t renounce it, SEE THROUGH IT. Understand its true value and you won’t need to renounce it; it will just drop from your hands. But of course, if you don’t see that, if you’re hypnotized into thinking that you won’t be happy without this, that, or the other thing, you’re stuck. What we need to do for you is not what so-called spirituality attempts to do –namely, to get you to make sacrifices, to renounce things. That’s useless. You’re still asleep. What we need to do is to help you understand, understand, understand. If you understood, you’d simply drop the desire for it. This is another way of saying: If you woke up, you’d simply drop the desire for it.

By: Anthony de Mello
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:27 PM
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Listen and Unlearn

Some of us get woken up by the harsh realities of life. We suffer so much that we wake up. But people keep bumping again and again into life. They still go on sleepwalking. They never wake up. Tragically, it never occurs to them that there may be another way. It never occurs to them that there may be a better way. Still, if you haven’t been bumped sufficiently by life, and you haven’t suffered enough, then there is another way: to listen. I don’t mean you have to agree with what I’m saying.

That wouldn’t be listening. Believe me, it really doesn’t matter whether you agree with what I’m saying or you don’t. Because agreement and disagreement have to do with words and concepts and theories. They don’t have anything to do with truth. Truth is never expressed in words. Truth is sighted suddenly, as a result of a certain attitude. So you could be disagreeing with me and still sight the truth. But there has to be an attitude of openness, of willingness to discover something new. That’s important, not your agreeing with me or disagreeing with me. After all, most of what I’m giving you is really theories.

No theory adequately covers reality. So I can speak to you, not of the truth, but of obstacles to the truth. Those I can describe. I cannot describe the truth. No one can. All I can do is give you a description of your falsehoods, so that you can drop them. All I can do for you is challenge your beliefs and the belief system that makes you unhappy. All I can do for you is help you to unlearn. That’s what learning is all about where spirituality is concerned: unlearning, unlearning almost everything you’ve been taught. A willingness to unlearn, to listen.

Are you listening, as most people do, in order to confirm what you already think? Observe your reactions as I talk. Frequently you’ll be startled or shocked or scandalized or irritated or annoyed or frustrated. Or you’ll be saying, “Great! ” But are you listening for what will confirm what you already think? Or are you listening in order to discover something new? That is important. It is difficult for sleeping people. Jesus proclaimed the good news, yet he was rejected. Not because it was good, but because it was new. We hate the new. We hate it! And the sooner we face up to that fact, the better. We don’t want new things, particularly when they’re disturbing, particularly when they involve change. Most particularly if it involves saying, “I was wrong”.

I remember meeting an eighty-seven-year-old Jesuit in Spain; he’d been my professor and rector in India thirty or forty years ago. And he attended a workshop like this. “I should have heard you speak sixty years ago”, he said. “You know something. I’ve been wrong all my life”. God, to listen to that! It’s like looking at one of the wonders of the world. That, ladies and gentlemen, is faith!

An openness to the truth, no matter what the consequences, no matter where it leads you and when you don’t even know where it’s going to lead you. That’s faith. Not belief, but faith. Your beliefs give you a lot of security, but faith is insecurity. You don’t know. You’re ready to follow and you’re open, you’re wide open! You’re ready to listen. And, mind you, being open does not mean being gullible, it doesn’t mean swallowing whatever the speaker is saying. Oh no.

You’ve got to challenge everything I’m saying. But challenge it from an attitude of openness, not from an attitude of stubbornness. And challenge it all. Recall those lovely words of Buddha when he said, “Monks and scholars must not accept my words out of respect, but must analyze them the way a goldsmith analyzes-gold by cutting, scraping, rubbing, melting”. When you do that, you’re listening. You’ve taken another major step toward awakening. The first step, as I said, was a readiness to admit that you don’t want to wake up, that you don’t want to be happy. There are all kinds of resistances to that within you. The second step is a readiness to understand, to listen, to challenge your whole belief system. Not just your religious beliefs, your political beliefs, your social beliefs, your psychological beliefs, but all of them. A readiness to reappraise them all, in the Buddha’s metaphor. And I’ll give you plenty of opportunity to do that here.

By : Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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The Masquerade of Charity

Charity is really self-interest masquerading under the form of altruism. You say that it is very difficult to accept that there may be times when you are not honest to goodness really trying to be loving or trustful. Let me simplify it. Let’s make it as simple as possible. Let’s even make it as blunt and extreme as possible, at least to begin with. There are two types of selfishness. The first type is the one where I give myself the pleasure of pleasing myself. That’s what we generally call self-centeredness. The second is when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing others. That would be a more refined kind of selfishness.

The first one is very obvious, but the second one is hidden, very hidden, and for that reason more dangerous, because we get to feel that we’re really great. But maybe we’re not all that great after all. You protest when I say that. That’s great! You, madam, you say that, in your case, you live alone, and go to the rectory and give several hours of your time. But you also admit you’re really doing it for a selfish reason – your need to be needed. And you also know you need to be needed in a way that makes you feel like you’re contributing to the world a little bit. But you also claim that, because they also need you to do this, it’s a two-way street.

You’re almost enlightened! We’ve got to learn from you. That’s right. She is saying, “I give something, I get something”. She is right. I go out to help, I give something, I get something. That’s beautiful. That’s true. That’s real. That isn’t charity, that’s enlightened self-interest. And you, sir, you point out that the gospel of Jesus is ultimately a gospel of self-interest. We achieve eternal life by our acts of charity. “Come blest of my Father, when I was hungry, you gave me to eat”, and so on. You say that perfectly confirms what I’ve said. When we look at Jesus, you say, we see that his acts of charity were acts of ultimate self-interest, to win souls for eternal life. And you see that as the whole thrust and meaning of life the achievement of self-interest by acts of charity.

All right. But see, you are cheating a bit because you brought religion into this. It’s legitimate. It’s valid. But how would it be if I deal with the gospels, with the Bible, with Jesus, toward the END of this retreat. I will say this much now to complicate it even more. “I was hungry, and you gave me to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me to drink”, and what do they reply? “When? When did we do it? We didn’t know it”. They were unconscious! I sometimes have a horrid fantasy where the king says, “I was hungry and you gave me to eat”, and the people on the right side say, “That’s right, Lord, we KNOW”. “I wasn’t talking to you”, the king tells them. “It doesn’t follow the script; you’re not SUPPOSED to have known”. Isn’t that interesting?

But YOU know. You know the inner pleasure you have while doing acts of charity. Aha!!! That’s right! It’s the opposite of someone who says, “What’s so great about what I did? I did something, I got something. I had no notion I was doing anything good. My left hand had no idea what my right hand was doing”. You know, a good is never so good as when you have no awareness that you’re doing good. You are never so good as when you have no consciousness that you’re good. Or as the great Sufi would say, “A saint is one until he or she knows it”. Unselfconscious! Unselfconscious!

Some of you object to this. You say, “Isn’t the pleasure I receive in giving, isn’t that eternal life right here and now”? I wouldn’t know. I call pleasure, pleasure, and nothing more. For the time being, at least until we get into religion later on. But I want you to understand something right at the beginning, that religion is not – I repeat not – necessarily connected with spirituality. Please keep religion out of this for the time being.

All right, you ask, what about the soldier who falls on a grenade to keep it from hurting others? And what about the man who got into a truck full of dynamite and drove into the American camp in Beirut? How about him? “Greater love than this no one has”. But the Americans don’t think so. He did it deliberately. He was terrible, wasn’t he? But he wouldn’t think so, I assure you. He thought he was going to heaven. That’s right. Just like your soldier falling on the grenade.

I’m trying to get at a picture of an action where there is not self, where you’re awake and what you do is done through you. Your deed in that case becomes a happening. “Let it be done to me”. I’m not excluding that. But when YOU do it, I’m searching for the selfishness. Even if it is only “I’ll be remembered as a great hero”, or “I’d never be able to live if I didn’t do this. I’d never be able to live with the thought if I ran away”. But remember, I’m not excluding the other kind of act.

I didn’t say that there never is any act where there is not self. Maybe there is. We’ll have to explore that. A mother saving a child – saving HER child, you say. But how come she’s not saving the neighbor’s child? It’s the HERS. It’s the soldier dying for his country. Many such deaths bother me. I ask myself, “Are they the result of brainwashing”? Martyrs bother me. I think they’re often brainwashed. Muslim martyrs, Hindu martyrs, Buddhist martyrs, Christian martyrs, they are brainwashed!

They’ve got an idea in their heads that they must die, that death is a great thing. They feel nothing, they go right in. But not all of them, so listen to me properly. I didn’t say ALL of them, but I wouldn’t exclude the possibility. Lots of communists get brainwashed (you’re ready to believe that). They’re so brainwashed they’re ready to die.

I sometimes say to myself that the process that we use for making, for example, a St. Francis Xavier could be exactly the same process used for producing terrorists. You can have a man go on a thirty-day retreat and come out all aflame with the love of Christ, yet without the slightest bit of self-awareness. None. He could be a big pain. He thinks he’s a great saint. I don’t mean to slander Francis Xavier, who probably was a great saint, but he was a difficult man to live with.

You know he was a lousy superior, he really was! Do a historical investigation. Ignatius always had to step in to undo the harm that this good man was doing by his intolerance. You need to be pretty intolerant to achieve what he achieved. Go, go, go, go – no matter how many corpses fall by the wayside. Some critics of Francis Xavier claim exactly that. He used to dismiss men from our Society and they’d appeal to Ignatius, who would say, “Come to Rome and we’ll talk about it”. And Ignatius surreptitiously got them in again. How much self-awareness was there in this situation? Who are we to judge, we don’t know.

I’m not saying there’s no such thing as pure motivation. I’m saying that ordinarily everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything. When you do something for the love of Christ, is that selfishness? Yes. When you’re doing something for the love of anybody, it is in your self-interest. I’ll have to explain that.

Suppose you happen to live in Phoenix and you feed over five hundred children a day. That gives you a good feeling? Well, would you expect it to give you a bad feeling? But sometimes it does. And that is because there are some people who do things so that they won’t HAVE TO HAVE A BAD FEELING. And they call THAT charity. They act out of guilt. That isn’t love. But, thank God, you do things for people and it’s pleasurable. Wonderful! You’re a healthy individual because you’re SELF-INTERESTED. That’s healthy.

Let me summarize what I was saying about selfless charity. I said there were two types of selfishness; maybe I should have said three. First, when I do something, or rather, when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing myself; second, when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing others. Don’t take pride in that. Don’t think you’re a great person. You’re a very ordinary person, but you’ve got refined tastes.

Your taste is good, not the quality of your spirituality. When you were a child, you liked Coca-Cola; now you’ve grown older and you appreciate chilled beer on a hot day. You’ve got better tastes now. When you were a child, you loved chocolates; now you’re older, you enjoy a symphony, you enjoy a poem. You’ve got better tastes. But you’re getting your pleasure all the same, except now it’s in the pleasure of pleasing others.

Then you’ve got the third type, which is the worst when you do something good so that you won’t get a bad feeling. It doesn’t give you a good feeling to do it; it gives you a bad feeling to do it. You hate it. You’re making loving sacrifices but you’re grumbling. Ha! How little you know of yourself if you think you don’t do things this way.

If I had a dollar for every time I did things that gave me a bad feeling, I’d be a millionaire by now. You know how it goes. “Could I meet you tonight, Father”? “Yes, come on in!” I don’t want to meet him and I hate meeting him. I want to watch that TV show tonight, but how do I say no to him? I don’t have the guts to say no. “Come on in”, and I’m thinking, “Oh God, I’ve got to put up with this pain”.

It doesn’t give me a good feeling to meet with him and it doesn’t give me a good feeling to say no to him, so I choose the lesser of the two evils and I say, “O.K., come on in”. I’m going to be happy when this thing is over and I’ll be able to take my smile off, but I start the session with him “How are you”? “Wonderful”, he says, and he goes on and on about how he loves that workshop, and I’m thinking, “Oh God, when is he going to come to the point”?

Finally he comes to the point, and I metaphorically slam him against the wall and say, “Well, any fool could solve that kind of problem”, and I send him out. “Whew! Got rid of him”, I say. And the next morning at breakfast (because I’m feeling I was so rude) I go up to him and say, “How’s life”? And he answers, “Pretty good”. And he adds, “You know, what you said to me last night was a real help. Can I meet you today, after lunch”? Oh God!

That’s the worst kind of charity, when you’re doing something so you won’t get a bad feeling. You don’t have the guts to say you want to be left alone. You want people to think you’re a good priest! When you say, “I don’t like hurting people”, I say, “Come off it! I don’t believe you”. I don’t believe anyone who says that he or she does not like hurting people. We love to hurt people, especially some people. We love it.

And when someone else is doing the hurting we rejoice in it. But we don’t want to do the hurting ourselves because we’ll get hurt! Ah, there it is. If we do the hurting, others will have a bad opinion of us. They won’t like us, they’ll talk against us and we don’t like that!
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:30 PM
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Good, Bad or Lucky

To me, selfishness seems to come out of an instinct for self-preservation, which is our deepest and first instinct. How can we opt for selflessness? It would be almost like opting for non-being. To me, it would seem to be the same thing as non-being. Whatever it is, I’m saying: Stop feeling bad about being selfish; we’re all the same. Someone once had a terribly beautiful thing to say about Jesus.

This person wasn’t even Christian. He said, “The lovely thing about Jesus was that he was so at home with sinners, because he understood that he wasn’t one bit better than they were”. We differ from others – from criminals, for example – only in what we do or don’t do, NOT IN WHAT WE ARE. The only difference between Jesus and those others was that he was awake and they weren’t. Look at people who win the lottery.

Do they say, “I’m so proud to accept this prize, not for myself, but for my nation and my society”. Does anybody talk like that when they win the lottery? No. Because they were LUCKY, LUCKY. So they won the lottery, first prize. Anything to be proud of in that?

In the same way, if you achieved enlightenment, you would do so in the interest of self and you would be lucky. Do you want to glory in that? What’s there to glory about? Can’t you see how utterly stupid it is to be vain about your good deeds? The Pharisee wasn’t an evil man, he was a stupid man. He was stupid, not evil. He didn’t stop to think. Someone once said, “I dare not stop to think, because if I did, I wouldn’t know how to get started again”.

By: Anthony de Mello

Last Edited by calin on 07/01/2011 04:30 PM
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
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THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
Anonymous Coward
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07/01/2011 04:38 PM
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i love you calin:)
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:43 PM
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Our Illusion About Others


So if you stop to think, you would see that there’s nothing to be very proud of after all. What does this do to your relationship with people? What are you complaining about? A young man came to complain that his girlfriend had let him down, that she had played false. What are you complaining about? Did you expect any better? Expect the worst, you’re dealing with selfish people. You’re the idiot – you glorified her, didn’t you?

You thought she was a princess, you thought people were nice. They’re not! They’re not nice. They’re as bad as you are – bad, you understand? They’re asleep like you. And what do you think they are going to seek? Their own self-interest, exactly like you. No difference. Can you imagine how liberating it is that you’ll never be disillusioned again, never be disappointed again? You’ll never feel let down again. Never feel rejected. Want to wake up? You want happiness? You want freedom? Here it is: Drop your false ideas. See through people. If you see through yourself, you will see through everyone. Then you will love them. Otherwise you spend the whole time grappling with your wrong notions of them, with your illusions that are constantly crashing against reality.

It’s probably too startling for many of you to understand that everyone except the very rare awakened person can be expected to be selfish and to seek his or her own self-interest whether in coarse or in refined ways. This leads you to see that there’s nothing to be disappointed about, nothing to be disillusioned about. If you had been in touch with reality all along, you would never have been disappointed. But you chose to paint people in glowing colors; you chose not to see through human beings because you chose not to see through yourself. So you’re paying the price now.

Before we discuss this, let me tell you a story. Somebody once asked, “What is enlightenment like? What is awakening like”? It’s like the tramp in London who was settling in for the night. He’d hardly been able to get a crust of bread to eat. Then he reaches this embankment on the river Thames. There was a slight drizzle, so he huddled in his old tattered cloak. He was about to go to sleep when suddenly a chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce pulls up. Out of the car steps a beautiful young lady who says to him, “My poor man, are you planning on spending the night here on this embankment”?

And the tramp says, “Yes”. She says, “I won’t have it. You’re coming to my house and you’re going to spend a comfortable night and you’re going to get a good dinner”. She insists on his getting into the car. Well, they ride out of London and get to a place where she has a sprawling mansion with large grounds. They are ushered in by the butler, to whom she says, “James, please make sure he’s put in the servants’ quarters and treated well”. Which is what James does. The young lady had undressed and was about to go to bed when she suddenly remembers her guest for the night.

So she slips something on and pads along the corridor to the servants’ quarters. She sees a little chink of light from the room where the tramp was put up. She taps lightly at the door, opens it, and finds the man awake. She says, “What’s the trouble, my good man, didn’t you get a good meal”? He said, “Never had a better meal in my life, lady”. “Are you warm enough”? He says, “Yes, lovely warm bed”. Then she says, “Maybe you need a little company. Why don’t you move over a bit”. And she comes closer to him and he moves over and falls right into the Thames.

Ha! You didn’t expect that one! Enlightenment! Enlightenment! Wake up. When you’re ready to exchange your illusions for reality, when you’re ready to exchange your dreams for facts, that’s the way you find it all. That’s where life finally becomes meaningful. Life becomes beautiful. There’s a story about Ramirez. He is old and living up there in his castle on a hill. He looks out the window (he’s in bed and paralyzed) and he sees his enemy. Old as he is, leaning on a cane, his enemy is climbing up the hill – slowly, painfully. It takes him about two and a half hours to get up the hill.

There’s nothing Ramirez can do because the servants have the day off. So his enemy opens the door, comes straight to the bedroom, puts his hand inside his cloak, and pulls out a gun. He says, “At last, Ramirez, we’re going to settle scores!” Ramirez tries his level best to talk him out of it. He says, “Come on, Borgia, you can’t do that. You know I’m no longer the man who ill-treated you as that youngster years ago, and you’re no longer that youngster. Come off it!” “Oh no”, says his enemy, ”your sweet words aren’t going to deter me from this divine mission of mine.

It’s revenge I want and there’s nothing you can do about it”. And Ramirez says, “But there is!” “What”? asks his enemy. “I can wake up”, says Ramirez. And he did; he woke up! That’s what enlightenment is like. When someone tells you, “There is nothing you can do about it”, you say, “There is, I can wake up!” All of a sudden, life is no longer the nightmare that it has seemed. Wake up!

Somebody came up to me with a question. What do you think the question was? He asked me, “Are you enlightened”? What do you think my answer was? What does it matter! You want a better answer? My answer would be: “How would I know? How would you know? What does it matter”? You know something? If you want anything too badly, you’re in big trouble. You know something else? If I were enlightened and you listened to me because I was enlightened, then you’re in big trouble.

Are you ready to be brainwashed by someone who’s enlightened? You can be brainwashed by anybody, you know. What does it matter whether someone’s enlightened or not? But see, we want to lean on someone, don’t we? We want to lean on anybody we think has arrived. We love to hear that people have arrived. It gives us hope, doesn’t it? What do you want to hope for? Isn’t that another form of desire? You want to hope for something better than what you have right now, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be hoping. But then, you forget that you have it all right now anyway, and you don’t know it. Why not concentrate on the now instead of hoping for better times in the future? Why not understand the now instead of forgetting it and hoping for the future? Isn’t the future just another trap?

By: Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
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THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:44 PM
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Self-Observation

The only way someone can be of help to you is in challenging your ideas. If you’re ready to listen and if you’re ready to be challenged, there’s one thing that you can do, but NO ONE CAN HELP YOU. What is this most important thing of all? It’s called self-observation. No one can help you there. No one can give you a method. No one can show you a technique. The moment you pick up a technique, you’re programmed again. But self-observation – watching yourself – is important. It is not the same as self-absorption.

Self-absorption is self-preoccupation, where you’re concerned about yourself, worried about yourself. I’m talking about self-OBSERVATION. What’s that? It means to watch everything in you and around you as far as possible and watch it as if it were happening to someone else. What does that last sentence mean? It means that you do not personalize what is happening to you. It means that you look at things as if you have no connection with them whatsoever.

The reason you suffer from your depression and your anxieties is that you identify with them. You say, “I’m depressed”. But that is false. You are not depressed. If you want to be accurate, you might say, “I am experiencing a depression right now”. But you can hardly say, “I am depressed”. You are not your depression. That is but a strange kind of tuck of the mind, a strange kind of illusion.

You have deluded yourself into thinking – though you are not aware of it – that you ARE your depression, that you ARE your anxiety, that you ARE your joy or the thrills that you have. “I am delighted!” You certainly are not delighted. Delight may be IN you right now, but wait around, it will change. It won’t last: it never lasts; it keeps changing; it’s always changing. Clouds come and go: some of them are black and some white, some of them are large, others small. If we want to follow the analogy, you would be the sky, observing the clouds. You are a passive, detached observer. That’s shocking, particularly to someone in the Western culture. You’re not interfering. Don’t interfere. Don’t ”fix” anything. Watch! Observe! The trouble with people is that they’re busy fixing things they don’t even understand. We’re always fixing things, aren’t we? It never strikes us that things don’t need to be fixed. They really don’t. This is a great illumination. They need to be understood. If you understood them, they’d change.

By: Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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07/01/2011 04:45 PM
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Awareness Without Evaluating Everything

Do you want to change the world? How about beginning with yourself? How about being transformed yourself first? But how do you achieve that? Through observation. Through understanding. With no interference or judgment on your part. Because what you judge you cannot understand. When you say of someone, “He’s a communist”, understanding has stopped at that moment. You slapped a label on him. “She’s a capitalist”. Understanding has stopped at that moment. You slapped a label on her, and if the label carries undertones of approval or disapproval, so much the worse! How are you going to understand what you disapprove of, or what you approve of, for that matter? All of this sounds like a new world, doesn’t it?

No judgment, no commentary, no attitude: one simply observes, one studies, one watches, without the desire to change what is. Because if you desire to change what is into what you think SHOULD be, you no longer understand. A dog trainer attempts to understand a dog so that he can train the dog to perform certain tricks. A scientist observes the behavior of ants with no further end in view than to study ants, to learn as much as possible about them. He has no other aim. He’s not attempting to train them or get anything out of them. He’s interested in ants, he wants to learn as much as possible about them. That’s his attitude. The day you attain a posture like that, you will experience a miracle. You will change effortlessly, correctly. Change will happen, you will not have to bring it about. As the life of awareness settles on your darkness, whatever is evil will disappear. Whatever is good will be fostered. You will have to experience that for yourself.

But this calls for a disciplined mind. And when I say disciplined, I’m not talking about effort. I’m talking about something else. Have you ever studied an athlete. His or her whole life is sports, but what a disciplined life he or she leads. And look at a river as it moves toward the sea. It creates its own banks that contain it. When there’s something within you that moves in the right direction, it creates its own discipline. The moment you get bitten by the bug of awareness. Oh, it’s so delightful! It’s the most delightful thing in the world; the most important, the most delightful. There’s nothing so important in the world as awakening. Nothing! And, of course, it is also discipline in its own way.

There’s nothing so delightful as being aware. Would you rather live in darkness? Would you rather act and not be aware of your actions, talk and not be aware of your words? Would you rather listen to people and not be aware of what you’re hearing, or see things and not be aware of what you’re looking at? The great Socrates said, “The unaware life is not worth living”. That’s a self-evident truth. Most people don’t live aware lives. They live mechanical lives, mechanical thoughts – generally somebody else’s – mechanical emotions, mechanical actions, mechanical reactions.

Do you want to see how mechanical you really are? “My, that’s a lovely shirt you’re wearing”. You feel good hearing that. For a shirt, for heaven’s sake! You feel proud of yourself when you hear that. People come over to my center in India and they say, “What a lovely place, these lovely trees” (for which I’m not responsible at all), “this lovely climate”. And already I’m feeling good, until I catch myself feeling good, and I say, “Hey, can you imagine anything as stupid as that”? I’m not responsible for those trees; I wasn’t responsible for choosing the location. I didn’t order the weather; it just happened.

But “me” got in there, so I’m feeling good. I’m feeling good about “my” culture and “my” nation. How stupid can you get? I mean that. I’m told my great Indian culture has produced all these mystics. I didn’t produce them. I’m not responsible for them. Or they tell me, “That country of yours and its poverty – it’s disgusting”. I feel ashamed. But I didn’t create it. What’s going on? Did you ever stop to think? People tell you, “I think you’re very charming”, so I feel wonderful. I get a positive stroke (that’s why they call it I’m O.K., you’re O.K.). I’m going to write a book someday and the title will be I’M AN ASS, YOU’RE AN ASS. That’s the most liberating, wonderful thing in the world, when you openly admit you’re an ass. It’s wonderful. When people tell me, “You’re wrong”. I say, “What can you expect of an ass”?

Disarmed, everybody has to be disarmed. In the final liberation, I’m an ass, you’re an ass. Normally the way it goes, I press a button and you’re up; I press another button and you’re down. And you like that. How many people do you know who are unaffected by praise or blame? That isn’t human, we say. Human means that you have to be a little monkey, so everybody can twist your tail, and you do whatever you OUGHT to be doing. But is that human? If you find me charming, it means that right now you’re in a good mood, nothing more. It also means that I fit your shopping list. We all carry a shopping list around, and it’s as though you’ve got to measure up to this list – tall, um, dark, um, handsome, according to MY tastes. “I like the sound of his voice”. You say, “I’m in love”. You’re not in love, you silly ass. Any time you’re in love – I hesitate to say this – you’re being particularly asinine. Sit down and watch what’s happening to you.

You’re running away from yourself. You want to escape. Somebody once said, “Thank God for reality, AND for the means to escape from it”. So that’s what’s going on. We are so mechanical, so controlled. We write books about being controlled and how wonderful it is to be controlled and how necessary it is that people tell you you’re O.K. Then you’ll have a good feeling about yourself. How wonderful it is to be in prison! Or as somebody said to me yesterday, to be in your cage. Do you like being in prison? Do you like being controlled? Let me tell you something: If you ever let yourself feel good when people tell you that you’re O.K., you are preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you – you’re not good. As long as you live to fulfill other people’s expectations, you better watch what you wear, how you comb your hair, whether your shoes are polished – in short, whether you live up to every damned expectation of theirs. Do you call that human?

This is what you’ll discover when you observe yourself! You’ll be horrified! The fact of the matter is that you’re neither O.K. nor not O.K. You may fit the current mood or trend or fashion! Does that mean you’ve become O.K.? Does your O.K.-ness depend on that? Does it depend on what people think of you? Jesus Christ must have been pretty “not O.K”. by those standards. You’re not O.K. and you’re not not O.K., you’re you.

I hope that is going to be the big discovery, at least for some of you. If three or four of you make this discovery during these days we spend together, my, what a wonderful thing! Extraordinary! Cut out all the O.K. stuff and the not-O.K. stuff; cut out all the judgments and simply observe, watch. You’ll make great discoveries. These discoveries will change you. You won’t have to make the slightest effort, believe me.

This reminds me of this fellow in London after the war. He’s sitting with a parcel wrapped in brown paper in his lap; it’s a big, heavy object. The bus conductor comes up to him and says, “What do you have on your lap there”? And the man says, “This is an unexploded bomb. We dug it out of the garden and I’m taking it to the police station”. The conductor says, “You don’t want to carry that on your lap. Put it under the seat”. Psychology and spirituality (as we generally understand it) transfer the bomb from your lap to under your seat. They don’t really solve your problems. They exchange your problems for other problems. Has that ever struck you? You had a problem, now you exchange it for another one. It’s always going to be that way until we solve the problem called “you”.

By: Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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The Illusion of Rewards

Until then, we’re going to get nowhere. The great mystics and masters in the East will say, “Who are YOU”? Many think the most important question in the world is: “Who is Jesus Christ”? Wrong! Many think it is: “Does God exist”? Wrong! Many think it is: “Is there a life after death”? Wrong! Nobody seems to be grappling with the problem of: Is there a life BEFORE death?

Yet my experience is that it’s precisely the ones who don’t know what to do with THIS life who are all hot and bothered about what they are going to do with ANOTHER life. One sign that you’re awakened is that you don’t give a damn about what’s going to happen in the next life. You’re not bothered about it; you don’t care. You are not interested, period.

Do you know what eternal life is? You think it’s everlasting life. But your own theologians will tell you that that is crazy, because everlasting is still within time. It is time perduring forever. Eternal means timeless no time. The human mind cannot understand that. The human mind can understand time and can deny time. What is timeless is beyond our comprehension. Yet the mystics tell us that eternity is right now.

How’s that for good news? It is right now. People are so distressed when I tell them to forget their past. They are so proud of their past. Or they are so ashamed of their past. They’re crazy! Just drop it! When you hear “Repent for your past”, realize it’s a great religious distraction from waking up. Wake up! That’s what repent means. Not “weep for your sins”. Wake up! Understand, stop all the crying. Understand! Wake up!

By: Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
calin  (OP)

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Finding Yourself

The great masters tell us that the most important question in the world is: “Who am I”? Or rather: “What is ‘I’”? What is this thing I call “I”? What is this thing I call self? You mean you understood everything else in the world and you didn’t understand this? You mean you under-stood astronomy and black holes and quasars and you picked up computer science, and you don’t know who you are? My, you are still asleep. You are a sleeping scientist. You mean you understood what Jesus Christ is and you don’t know who you are? How do you know that you have understood Jesus Christ? Who is the person doing the understanding?

Find that out first. That’s the foundation of everything, isn’t it? It’s because we haven’t understood this that we’ve got all these stupid religious people involved in all these stupid religious wars — Muslims fighting against Jews, Protestants fighting Catholics, and all the rest of that rubbish. They don’t know who they are, because if they did, there wouldn’t be wars. Like the little girl who says to a little boy, “Are you a Presbyterian”? And he says, “No, we belong to another abomination!”

But what I’d like to stress right now is self-observation. You are listening to me, but are you picking up any other sounds besides the sound of my voice as you listen to me? Are you aware of YOUR reactions as you listen to me? If you aren’t, you’re going to be brainwashed. Or else you are going to be influenced by forces within you of which you have no awareness at all. And even if you’re aware of how you react to me, are you simultaneously aware of where your reaction is coming from? Maybe you are not listening to me at all; maybe your daddy is listening to me. Do you think that’s possible? Of course it is.

Again and again in my therapy groups I come across people who aren’t there at all. Their daddy is there, their mummy is there, but they’re not there. They never were there. “I live now, not I, but my daddy lives in me”. Well, that’s absolutely, literally true. I could take you apart piece by piece and ask, “Now, this sentence, does it come from Daddy, Mummy, Grandma, Grandpa, whom”? Who’s living in you? It’s pretty horrifying when you come to know that. You think you are free, but there probably isn’t a gesture, a thought, an emotion, an attitude, a belief in you that isn’t coming from someone else. Isn’t that horrible? And you don’t know it. Talk about a mechanical life that was stamped into you. You feel pretty strongly about certain things, and you think it is you who are feeling strongly about them, but are you really? It’s going to take a lot of awareness for you to understand that perhaps this thing you call “I” is simply a conglomeration of your past experiences, of your conditioning and programming.

That’s painful. In fact, when you’re beginning to awaken, you experience a great deal of pain. It’s painful to see your illusions being shattered. Everything that you thought you had built up crumbles and that’s painful. That’s what repentance is all about; that’s what waking up is all about. So how about taking a minute, right where you’re sitting now, to be aware, even as I talk, of what you’re feeling in your body, and what’s going on in your mind, and what your emotional state is like? How about being aware of the blackboard, if your eyes are open, and the color of these walls and the material they’re made of? How about being aware of my face and the reaction you have to this face of mine? Because you have a reaction whether you’re aware of it or not. And it probably isn’t your reaction, but one you were conditioned to have. And how about being aware of some of the things I just said, although that wouldn’t be awareness, because that’s just memory now.

Be aware of your presence in this room. Say to yourself, “I’m in this room”. It’s as if you were outside yourself looking at yourself. Notice a slightly different feeling than if you were looking at things in the room. Later we’ll ask, “Who is this person who is doing the looking”? I am looking at me. What’s an “I”? What’s “me”? For the time being it’s enough that I watch me, but if you find yourself condemning yourself or approving yourself, don’t stop the condemnation and don’t stop the judgment or approval, just watch it. I’m condemning me; I’m disapproving of me; I’m approving of me. Just look at it, period. Don’t try to change it! Don’t say, “Oh, we were told not to do this”. Just observe what’s going on. As I said to you before, self-observation means watching — observing whatever is going on in you and around you as if it were happening to someone else.

By: Anthony de Mello
..............................
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
..................................
THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
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Stripping Down to The “I”

I suggest another exercise now. Would you write down on a piece of paper any brief way you would describe yourself – for example, businessman, priest, human being, Catholic, Jew, anything. Some write, I notice, things like, fruitful, searching pilgrim, competent, alive, impatient, centered, flexible, reconciler, lover, member of the human race, overly structured. This is the fruit, I trust, of observing yourself. As if you were watching another person.

But notice, you’ve got “I” observing “me”. This is an interesting phenomenon that has never ceased to cause wonder to philosophers, mystics, scientists, psychologists, that the “I” can observe “me”. It would seem that animals are not able to do this at all. It would seem that one needs a certain amount of intelligence to be able to do this. What I’m going to give you now is not metaphysics; it is not philosophy.

It is plain observation and common sense. The great mystics of the East are really referring to that “I”, not to the “me”. As a matter of fact, some of these mystics tell us that we begin first with things, with an awareness of things; then we move on to an awareness of thoughts (that’s the “me”); and finally we get to awareness of the thinker. THINGS, THOUGHTS, THINKER. What we’re really searching for is the thinker. Can the thinker know himself? Can I know what “I” is? Some of these mystics reply, “Can the knife cut itself? Can the tooth bite itself? Can the eye see itself? Can the ‘I’ know itself”? But I am concerned with something infinitely more practical right now, and that is with deciding what the “I” is not. I’ll go as slowly as possible because the consequences are devastating. Terrific or terrifying, depending on your point of view.

Listen to this: Am I my thoughts, the thoughts that I am thinking? No. Thoughts come and go; I am not my thoughts. Am I my body? They tell us that millions of cells in our body are changed or are renewed every minute, so that by the end of seven years we don’t have a single living cell in our body that was there seven years before. Cells come and go. Cells arise and die. But “I” seems to persist. So am I my body? Evidently not!

“I” is something other and more than the body. You might say the body is part of “I”, but it is a changing part. It keeps moving, it keeps changing. We have the same name for it but it constantly changes. Just as we have the same name for Niagara Falls, but Niagara Falls is constituted by water that is constantly changing. We use the same name for an ever-changing reality. How about my name? Is “I” my name? Evidently not, because I can change my name without changing the “I”. How about my career? How about my beliefs? I say I am a Catholic, a Jew – is that an essential part of “I”? When I move from one religion to another, has the “I” changed? Do I have a new “I” or is it the same “I” that has changed? In other words, is my name an essential part of me, of the “I”? Is my religion an essential part of the “1″?

I mentioned the little girl who says to the boy, “Are you a Presbyterian”? Well, somebody told me another story, about Paddy. Paddy was walking down the street in Belfast and he discovers a gun pressing against the back of his head and a voice says”, Are you Catholic or Protestant”? Well, Paddy has to do some pretty fast thinking. He says, “I’m a Jew”. And he hears a voice say, “I’ve got to be the luckiest Arab in the whole of Belfast”. Labels are so important to us. “I am a Republican”, we say. But are you really? You can’t mean that when you switch parties you have a new “I”. Isn’t it the same old “I” with new political convictions? I remember hearing about a man who asks his friend, “Are you planning to vote Republican”? The friend says, “No, I’m planning to vote Democratic.

My father was a Democrat, my grandfather was a Democrat, and my great-grandfather was a Democrat”. The man says, “That is crazy logic. I mean, if your father was a horse thief, and your grandfather was a horse thief, and your great-grandfather was a horse thief, what would you be”? “Ah”, the friend answered, “then I’d be a Republican”. We spend so much of our lives reacting to labels, our own and others’. We identify the labels with the “I”. Catholic and Protestant are frequent labels. There was a man who went to the priest and said, “Father, I want you to say a Mass for my dog”. The priest was indignant. “What do you mean, say a Mass for your dog”? “It’s my pet dog”, said the man. “I loved that dog and I’d like you to offer a Mass for him”.

The priest said, “We don’t offer Masses for dogs here. You might try the denomination down the street. Ask them if they might have a service for you”. As the man was leaving, he said to the priest, “Too bad. I really loved that dog. I was planning to offer a million-dollar stipend for the Mass”. And the priest said, “Wait a minute, you never told me your dog was Catholic”. When you’re caught up in labels, what value do these labels have, as far as the “I” is concerned? Could we say that “I” is none of the labels we attach to it? Labels belong to “me”. What constantly changes is “me”. Does “I” ever change? Does the observer ever change? The fact is that no matter what labels you think of (except perhaps human being) you should apply them to “me”. “I” is none of these things. So when you step out of yourself and observe “me”, you no longer identify with “me”. Suffering exists in “me”, so when you identify “I” with “me”, suffering begins.

Say that you are afraid or desirous or anxious. When “I” does not identify with money, or name, or nationality, or persons, or friends, or any quality, the “I” is never threatened. It can be very active, but it isn’t threatened. Think of anything that caused or is causing you pain or worry or anxiety. First, can you pick up the desire under that suffering, that there’s something you desire very keenly or else you wouldn’t be suffering. What is that desire? Second, it isn’t simply a desire; there’s an identification there. You have somehow said to yourself, “The well-being of ‘I,’ almost the existence of ‘I,’ is tied up with this desire”. All suffering is caused by my identifying myself with something, whether that something is within me or outside of me.

By: Anthony de Mello
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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
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THE SECOND AGREEMENT: "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements





GLP