So, let me ask a question:
You have all heard by now the rapture is May 21. What are you going to do with your pets?

If you're a saved Christian, you're going to be Raptured. Your pets, unfortunately, are not.

So, I'll make Christians a deal. I'm not going to be raptured. I'm atheist. But we love animals. So here's the deal: I'll drive to your house May 22, pick up your cat and/or dog, and look after them forever. We love animals and have several here on our farm already. Your pets will enjoy the last few months on earth in the best care possible on a wonderful farm.

In return, you will pay me $1000.00, before May 21. This is non-refundable.

Sound like a plan? I'm serious by the way. I'll make this deal with anyone in the north east USA (1 day driving distance). You can enjoy heaven knowing your pets will not suffer the last few months on earth.