I was very aware sexually as a child and can remember that I wanted to have sex at the age of 7, just the slightest sight of breast cleavage and I would be ready to go.

- me too, at about age 4.

I was very afraid of being abandoned when i was a child almost to the point that it seems as if i was abandoned or taken at some point and the thought of it happening again threw me into a panic.

-me too, I think it's because I was a stolen child, literally, and I was subconsciously afraid it would happen again.


My dad is a Vietnam vet who was being, I guess you can call it, recruited to be a mercenary at the end of his last tour with the 1st infantry div. My maternal grandfather was a member of the Fraternal Order of Police and he had some friends who were masons.

-mine were CIA..

A couple of strange things were said to me by some family members. One day my aunt(my moms brothers wife)looked at me and said "you used to be a cute kid, what happened to you?"

-ditto, but it was my "grandmother"

He looked at me and said "do you remember what happened to you?", this came out of nowhere and I asked him what he meant and he would not tell me and that if I wanted to know I needed to ask my dad, which i did and got nothing in response.

-The woman that raised me is an idiot when it comes to Skype. She left it on once after "hanging up" and I got to hear her laugh and say "Won't it be funny when she finally finds out the truth."

Disturbing, isn't it? I've been digging into my documents, memories, anything I can that doesn't require asking to be told more lies.