Oh shit, you mindfucked me I have odd senses when playing FPS and I feel so desentized to death, even the death of my character, usually normal gamers get pissed off that they die in the game, with me it's different, I am laid back, I recently stopped playing FPSs because I felt so robotic like a trained military complex soldier. I had no idea what is the purpose of a FPS game, why do people practice it, it's very morbid if you really view it outside the box.

I don't hate people, I have no hatered towards anyone, I just find it bizarre that I always adapt to such "soldier" like roles but these soldiers are above there lower rank, because the access to advance weaponry within the game, or if it's a roleplaying game where you have a powerful warrior that has access to better armor or can defeat all odds when things are looking grim, almost like an anti-hero.

But some other force is behind the power.

I don't know I just think I was an odd child, I was very well behaved as a child. not even shenanigins that normal children pull. and I have no recollection of memories from when I was from ages 2 to 6.5 years old. I only started remembering things I have done or seen at age 7.

ODD indeed... I don't know anymore.