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Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion

 
LadyLeo
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06/22/2011 12:12 PM
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Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
Join the Zombie army



One day in the not-too-distant future, a mindless horde of cannibalistic killing machines will come shambling through the streets of America. And when that day comes, the U.S. Army will be on it faster than you can scream “BRAAIIIINNSS!”

Lucky for us, the Army Zombie Combat Command has put together a nifty manual on how to identify, fight, and kill those murderous mobs of the undead. Soldiers can now add the FM 999-3 Counter-Zombie Operations at the Fireteam Level to their arsenal – “the primary doctrinal reference on conducting fire team sized infantry operations in a Zombie infested environment in the United States.”

And as far as we know, this is the only (non) arm of the service that “guarantees the survival of the United States in the event of any Zombie emergency.”

more [link to www.wired.com]
LadyLeo  (OP)

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06/22/2011 12:32 PM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
bump
MrAC2U

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06/22/2011 09:33 PM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
I just saw this and was going to post it here. Search worked!

Another reference to a Zombie invasion? WTF?

My thoughts are will a lot of people go crazy if the magnetosphere fails? This has been going around for a while.


zombies Tank
MrAC2U

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06/22/2011 09:36 PM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
Double post

Last Edited by MrAC2U on 06/22/2011 09:36 PM
Anonymous Coward
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06/22/2011 09:36 PM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
wtf?
LadyLeo  (OP)

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06/23/2011 12:50 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
wtf?
 Quoting: Captain. Frizzlefarts


I know very strange.
D. Bunker

06/23/2011 01:12 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
Double post
 Quoting: MrAC2U


I believe the term is double tap.
:savetata:


Favorite Quote - "I just fucking love outer space, it has all those planets and stars and shit." - Mister Obvious 2009
Anonymous Coward
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06/23/2011 01:13 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
Old news.
Anonymous Coward
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06/23/2011 01:20 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
Double post
 Quoting: MrAC2U


I believe the term is double tap.
 Quoting: D. Bunker


oh shit D...hiding
General Troll, US Shillitary

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06/23/2011 01:25 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
Time to sharpen my tomahawk?
"What you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."
January Wolves

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06/23/2011 01:48 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
I think "Zombie" is just tptb's code name for us. They are priming their goons psychologically. It's easier to kill a "zombie" than mom & pop.

If the people ever have an uprising they will tell the soldiers that we are really zombies.

If not this then why all this zombie talk??? It doesn't make sense.
Anonymous Coward
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06/23/2011 01:50 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
zombies343
LadyLeo  (OP)

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06/23/2011 01:53 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
I think "Zombie" is just tptb's code name for us. They are priming their goons psychologically. It's easier to kill a "zombie" than mom & pop.

If the people ever have an uprising they will tell the soldiers that we are really zombies.

If not this then why all this zombie talk??? It doesn't make sense.
 Quoting: January Wolves


No it really doesn't first it was the CDC and now the Army??

hiding
Anonymous Coward
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06/23/2011 01:54 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
fake story , links to fake website
Sammie

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06/23/2011 02:01 AM

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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
this is a hoax guys.

read the last page of the manual

"not endorsed by us army"

and

"fort clemet is a false address"
"Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow".  ~Aesop


"Once in a dream I saw a snake swallowing its own tail, it swallowed and swallowed until it got halfway round, and there it stopped and there it stayed, it was stuffed with its own self. Some fix, that.
We only have ourselves to go on, and it’s enough…" -Charles Bukowski



"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first."
-Goenka
LadyLeo  (OP)

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06/23/2011 02:02 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
fake story , links to fake website
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1438956


No it doesn't it's Wired!

[link to www.wired.com]
Anonymous Coward
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06/23/2011 02:02 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
zombies = metaphor for the rioting, hungry, pillaging masses
Sammie

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06/23/2011 02:03 AM

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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
however, i have always believed it will all come to ahed in a zombie apocalypse, so stay alert :p
"Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow".  ~Aesop


"Once in a dream I saw a snake swallowing its own tail, it swallowed and swallowed until it got halfway round, and there it stopped and there it stayed, it was stuffed with its own self. Some fix, that.
We only have ourselves to go on, and it’s enough…" -Charles Bukowski



"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first."
-Goenka
northerntomcat

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06/23/2011 02:04 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
Do we still get to shoot them in the head?
If you cross country ski, start with a small country.
Sammie

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06/23/2011 02:05 AM

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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
fake story , links to fake website
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1438956


No it doesn't it's Wired!

[link to www.wired.com]
 Quoting: LadyLeo


follow wired's link

the site they link to is fake

download the field manual.

the last page of the pdf states that it is fake
"Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow".  ~Aesop


"Once in a dream I saw a snake swallowing its own tail, it swallowed and swallowed until it got halfway round, and there it stopped and there it stayed, it was stuffed with its own self. Some fix, that.
We only have ourselves to go on, and it’s enough…" -Charles Bukowski



"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first."
-Goenka
Anonymous Coward
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06/23/2011 02:07 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
anyone see that new honda civic commercial with the zombie? what the fuck does that even mean
LadyLeo  (OP)

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06/23/2011 02:10 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
fake story , links to fake website
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1438956


No it doesn't it's Wired!

[link to www.wired.com]
 Quoting: LadyLeo


follow wired's link

the site they link to is fake

download the field manual.

the last page of the pdf states that it is fake
 Quoting: Sammie


Your right wtf you can't trust Wired anymore I guess!
Anonymous Coward
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06/23/2011 02:45 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
METH induced Zombieism? As of now Meth/crack is the only chemical combo/illegal drug that leads to being a zombie. Of course there are also meds that are prescribed for all problems diagnosed as illness to fund big Pharma's. The vaccinations are worrisome as well. WTFK how it will happen, but we do know Zombie Shit Will Happen ("ZSWH")
Sammie

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06/23/2011 02:49 AM

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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
fake story , links to fake website
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1438956


No it doesn't it's Wired!

[link to www.wired.com]
 Quoting: LadyLeo


follow wired's link

the site they link to is fake

download the field manual.

the last page of the pdf states that it is fake
 Quoting: Sammie


Your right wtf you can't trust Wired anymore I guess!
 Quoting: LadyLeo


no worries

just because the story on wired links to a fake page doesnt mean we will not all have to face battle with the zombies in the near future.

the zombie apocalypse is not cancelled due to this fake link

keep the faith Leo. :D

there very well may be plenty of zombie head shots in our future.
"Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow".  ~Aesop


"Once in a dream I saw a snake swallowing its own tail, it swallowed and swallowed until it got halfway round, and there it stopped and there it stayed, it was stuffed with its own self. Some fix, that.
We only have ourselves to go on, and it’s enough…" -Charles Bukowski



"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first."
-Goenka
Dirt Diver

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06/23/2011 03:58 AM
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Re: Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion
zombies = metaphor for the rioting, hungry, pillaging masses
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1432593





GLP