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THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!

 
Screaminī Eagle
User ID: 1712
United States
09/12/2005 03:25 PM
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THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
Part I

WHAT ARE BLACK HELICOPTERS?:

Black Helicopters (BH) are not just helicopters with a black paint job as you may have been told. They are, in fact, autonomous agents -- lifeforms -- created by New World Order (NWO) agencies via nanobiotechnology. Their primary purpose is to spy on the activities of average citizens in order to gather tactical information and discover "subversives" who are not bowing to the will of the Liberatiīs UN-backed Federal Government. Furthermore, when the NWO Invasion takes place in the not-too-distant future, they will round up citizens for internment in concentration camps or carry out the elimination of the more vocally anti-Liberati.

REPRODUCTION, DEVELOPMENT & LIFESTYLE OF BLACK HELICOPTERS:

Black Helicopters have a complex reproductive cycle with different phases. They start out as seed crystals that are injected into a biological host organism -- typically cattle but occasionally humans -- by either human technicians or other Black Helicopters. It has also been theorized that seed crystals have been sprayed from military and possibly civilian aircraft in the form of so-called "chemtrails", which then enter the body of a host via the food and/or water supply or direct dermal contact. The inoculated seed crystal uses nanobiotechnology -- which incorporates nano-scale self-manufacturing robotics with biological control systems created using genetic engineering -- to grow with material synthesized from the hostīs organs. After being injected into the head of a cattle, typically the seed crystal enters the blood stream where it travels to the intestines, along the way gathering various needed compounds from different systems. Once there, it quickly develops into a Microscopic Black Helicopter (MBH).

These small and simplified versions of BHs will either stay in the host and continue growing to maturity or they will sometimes exit the body at this stage, usually burrowing through the skin. MBHs that grow to maturity in their hosts will later go on to become the full size BHs that most people report seeing. After a few weeks, the MBH grows large enough (about 20-30 cm in length,) that it bursts forth from the guts of its host. This artificial live birth leaves the host organism dead and is the source of most cattle mutilations. Bursting is usually timed so that it occurs at night, providing cover of darkness. After the burst, the new BH takes a few minutes for its props to unfold and harden before flying off. Once old enough to burst from its host, it has the ability to gather further minerals and proteins from its environment, allowing it to grow to full mature size (up to 18 meters long.)

These macroscopic BHs that have not yet reached their full mature size are called Juvenile Black Helicopters (JBH). They can be found in the wildernesses or on the outskirts of civilization, avoiding human observation and biding their time while they grow. If discovered by persons or agents unaligned with the NWO, JBHs may react violently to eliminate any witnesses; however, since many are equipped with psychotron organs grown from environmental aluminum compounds or beer cans scavenged from road sides, they may instead simply cause short- to mid-term memory loss in observers before escaping, resulting in the phenomenon known as "lost time", which is often mistakenly attributed to UFO abduction.

(Note: if the JBH discovers that the observer is wearing an Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, thus making psychotronically induced memory loss impossible, violence will most certainly ensue.)

Additionally, some smaller sized JBHs are known to camouflage themselves as pigeons, squirrels, and other woodland or urban creatures by covering themselves with the outer casings of animals they killed for organic building materials, allowing them to spy on citizens in broad daylight.

A BH becomes capable of injecting seed crystals when it has reached the MBH stage of development, and can continue to do so until its seed injector, protruding from its forward underside, becomes too large to puncture flesh without causing hemorrhaging (at which point it is instead used as a projectile weapon). An MBH that has exited its host before reaching bursting maturity is called an Extracorporeal Microscopic Black Helicopter (EMBH) and is typically between 0.25 and 1 cm in length. They are often the source of seed injections, so they are also occasionally called reproductives or seed vectors. Besides this role, they also act as spies since their small size makes them almost undetectable. They are the proverbial "fly on the wall" for the Liberati. There have also been reports of reinfections where an MBH will re-enter a host, typically a human, through the ear canal and burrow its way to the base of the skull where it will implant itself in the central nervous system. This will allow it to affect and sometimes even control the actions of the host. This is dangerous for the host, since the MBH -- called a Parasite Black Helicopter (PBH) in this phase -- can do permanent damage to the brain and may self-destruct to avoid detection, causing what is often erroneously diagnosed as spontaneous human combustion.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6849
Netherlands
09/12/2005 03:31 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
Oh, I believe...

More...tell more...please...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1265
United States
09/12/2005 03:35 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
Some people have too much time on their hands.


ufo56
Druiz

User ID: 1143
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09/12/2005 03:36 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
lol

Damn dirty Apes!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2899
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09/12/2005 03:39 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
ok -a cross between aliens & i, robot.

8 for effort

6 for orginality
JayRodney

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09/12/2005 03:40 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
neener
Screaminī Eagle (OP)
User ID: 1712
United States
09/12/2005 03:41 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
Part II

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM BLACK HELICOPTERS:

Avoidance of Black Helicopters in all their forms is the best defense against infection, surveillance, internment, enslavement, brain erasure, or death. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to stay out of their way, especially if they are targeting you for harassment <<< [link to members.tripod.com] >>>, and thus it is important for paranoids to learn to protect themselves.

First and foremost, Black Helicopterswatters are vital for defense against EMBHs and JBHs. Similar to common flyswatters, they can be used to fend off aerial attacks, disperse swarms, or dispatch resting BHs if you catch them unaware. However, make sure your aim is true, otherwise you will only anger them. If hitting the little pests proves difficult, sticky strips of paper baited with bits of meat, plastic, and metal -- all substances necessary for BH development -- can ensnare their tiny wheels long enough for disposal.

When BHs become mature enough that swatters are no longer a viable option, it is best to flee and hope you can lose them. Larger BHs will be unable to follow you into tight spaces without damaging their rotors; use this knowledge to your tactical advantage.

NOTE TO AFDB USERS:
As mentioned above, JBHs will attack anyone wearing an AFDB if discovered. The best defense against this is to always camouflage your beanie while traveling through outdoor areas where JBHs might be hiding, such as forests, junkyards, farms, and the like. If you accidentally stumble upon a JBH, freeze and pretend to enter a hypnotic state until it leaves, thereby tricking it into thinking it has erased your memory. Another threat to the beanie wearers comes from EMBHs, which may attack AFDBs en masse using their spinning blades to slowly chip away at the outer surface, creating microfissures that can result in psychotronic seepage or, in extreme cases, catastrophic beanie failure. If you think your AFDB is under attack by EMBH swarms, quickly coat the beanie surface with rubber cement, molasses, or similar viscous substance to neutralize their rotors.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5975
Russia
09/12/2005 03:41 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
*shifty look* scratching
head east nli
User ID: 8545
India
09/12/2005 03:42 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
that was beyond left field man.

i have seen a BH close enough to see the men in them.

i just cant get my head around that.



you will make an excellent sci fi writer though.
john paul
User ID: 2715
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09/12/2005 03:42 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
i though i saw the same thing on the x files.
DFH
User ID: 496
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09/12/2005 03:44 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
OP your post was very original. A decent story. You should pursue a career in SF writing.

Of course if you REALLY believe that stuff, you should probably seek professional help immediately.
head east nli
User ID: 8545
India
09/12/2005 03:46 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
hell. publish it 1st,
and never ever say you believe it, outloud!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1844
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09/12/2005 03:49 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
Well apparently he stole that idea from the new battlestar galactica and farscape since they both had the concept of ships being organic beings in them.
like a Woo Woo under a microsc
User ID: 8824
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09/12/2005 03:51 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
Cut īn paste from
[link to zapatopi.net]


Damn amataur kook/watchers, not even familiar with existing work in the field.
Screaminī Eagle (OP)
User ID: 1712
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09/12/2005 03:55 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
565...

Good call, you got me. Just trying to lighten up the mood around here, God knows we can all use a laugh.

Should I finish?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 507
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09/12/2005 03:57 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
if you see a cluster of nanaparticles buzzing around like gnats
you can put them out of commission fast

spray them with some aerosol oil(the kind you spray on baking sheets)

itīll knock em flat
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12421
United States
09/12/2005 04:06 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
The official winner of the wackjob post of the year with a second to the thread about "what kind of gun would jesus carry" Thread
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 507
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09/12/2005 04:57 PM
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Re: THE TRUTH ABOUT BLACK HELICOPTERS - Secrets THEY Donīt Want You To Know About!
you know
most wackjob fake posts
are posted
in order to deflect attention from some truth

nanoparticles are in our environment
and they do enter our bodies

the wack stuff wants you to doubt that





GLP