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Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion

 
Bunnyuk
User ID: 1107757
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 03:43 AM
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Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
[link to www.metro.co.uk]

METRO REPORTER - 7th July, 2011
0
Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Bristol city council have issued a guide for fending off the unwanted attentions of flesh-eating zombies.
Related Tags:Bristol

Just in case a zombie attacks, here's what you need to do...
The document shows the best way to kill those bothersome  reanimated corpses. It outlines a four-stage alert system following an invasion and says codewords will be used to provide secret instructions to the public.
The brief also includes details of how people can equip themselves with weapons, such as stun guns and protective suits.


...

Last Edited by Account Deleted by User on 07/08/2011 06:16 AM
moonsinger

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07/08/2011 03:46 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
wtf
I am so far down the food chain that I've got plankton bites on my butt

1984 WAS NOT MEANT TO BE AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 738520
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 03:46 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
[link to www.metro.co.uk]

METRO REPORTER - 7th July, 2011
0
Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Bristol city council have issued a guide for fending off the unwanted attentions of flesh-eating zombies.
Related Tags:Bristol

Just in case a zombie attacks, here's what you need to do...
The document shows the best way to kill those bothersome  reanimated corpses. It outlines a four-stage alert system following an invasion and says codewords will be used to provide secret instructions to the public.
The brief also includes details of how people can equip themselves with weapons, such as stun guns and protective suits.
Bristol city council has set out the advice in response to a Freedom of Information request.
In its ‘Contingency Plan For Handling Zombie Outbreaks in Bristol’, it says the moment to get really worried is when infections hit 30 per cent – or ‘zombie pandemic level’.
This is when you’ll need to kill a zombie correctly, and the public is reminded to fully disconnect the brain-stem from the body through blunt force or full head removal.
But it might be best just to head for a council building, where somebody might know what to do.
‘An annual training schedule for designated officers is in place,’ the document adds reassuringly.
 Quoting: Bunnyuk 1107757


yodabump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1454263
United States
07/08/2011 03:47 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Sounds like the city council needs to have their jobs taken away from them from wasting tax payers money.

Or better yet put them in jail for fraud. Because that is ultimately what it is. They paid a printing shop thousands of dollars to print it.

What do you want to bet the printing shop is owned by one of their friends.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1107757
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 03:51 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
wtf
 Quoting: moonsinger


Know how can they not pin this

???????
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1458041
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 03:57 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
[link to www.metro.co.uk]

METRO REPORTER - 7th July, 2011
0
Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Bristol city council have issued a guide for fending off the unwanted attentions of flesh-eating zombies.
Related Tags:Bristol

Just in case a zombie attacks, here's what you need to do...
The document shows the best way to kill those bothersome  reanimated corpses. It outlines a four-stage alert system following an invasion and says codewords will be used to provide secret instructions to the public.
The brief also includes details of how people can equip themselves with weapons, such as stun guns and protective suits.
Bristol city council has set out the advice in response to a Freedom of Information request.
In its ‘Contingency Plan For Handling Zombie Outbreaks in Bristol’, it says the moment to get really worried is when infections hit 30 per cent – or ‘zombie pandemic level’.
This is when you’ll need to kill a zombie correctly, and the public is reminded to fully disconnect the brain-stem from the body through blunt force or full head removal.
But it might be best just to head for a council building, where somebody might know what to do.
‘An annual training schedule for designated officers is in place,’ the document adds reassuringly.
 Quoting: Bunnyuk 1107757


got to be a joke.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1348141
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 03:58 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1348141
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 03:59 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
[link to www.metro.co.uk]

METRO REPORTER - 7th July, 2011
0
Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Bristol city council have issued a guide for fending off the unwanted attentions of flesh-eating zombies.
Related Tags:Bristol

Just in case a zombie attacks, here's what you need to do...
The document shows the best way to kill those bothersome  reanimated corpses. It outlines a four-stage alert system following an invasion and says codewords will be used to provide secret instructions to the public.
The brief also includes details of how people can equip themselves with weapons, such as stun guns and protective suits.
Bristol city council has set out the advice in response to a Freedom of Information request.
In its ‘Contingency Plan For Handling Zombie Outbreaks in Bristol’, it says the moment to get really worried is when infections hit 30 per cent – or ‘zombie pandemic level’.
This is when you’ll need to kill a zombie correctly, and the public is reminded to fully disconnect the brain-stem from the body through blunt force or full head removal.
But it might be best just to head for a council building, where somebody might know what to do.
‘An annual training schedule for designated officers is in place,’ the document adds reassuringly.
 Quoting: Bunnyuk 1107757


I don't think it is m8

got to be a joke.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1458041
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1348141
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 04:05 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
[link to www.metro.co.uk]

METRO REPORTER - 7th July, 2011
0
Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Bristol city council have issued a guide for fending off the unwanted attentions of flesh-eating zombies.
Related Tags:Bristol

Just in case a zombie attacks, here's what you need to do...
The document shows the best way to kill those bothersome  reanimated corpses. It outlines a four-stage alert system following an invasion and says codewords will be used to provide secret instructions to the public.
The brief also includes details of how people can equip themselves with weapons, such as stun guns and protective suits.
Bristol city council has set out the advice in response to a Freedom of Information request.
In its ‘Contingency Plan For Handling Zombie Outbreaks in Bristol’, it says the moment to get really worried is when infections hit 30 per cent – or ‘zombie pandemic level’.
This is when you’ll need to kill a zombie correctly, and the public is reminded to fully disconnect the brain-stem from the body through blunt force or full head removal.
But it might be best just to head for a council building, where somebody might know what to do.
‘An annual training schedule for designated officers is in place,’ the document adds reassuringly.
 Quoting: Bunnyuk 1107757


whatever
MG-42

User ID: 668515
Canada
07/08/2011 04:06 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Well well, we all know how there is always some truth to movies such as 'Knowing' and many others.

I wonder if the zombie 'idea' isn't that far from the truth either. Notice I quoted idea.

People should watch the movie 'Night of the Comet'.


This film talks about elites and certain special bloodlines.
A zombie type disturbance after the passing of the comet.

There is even a scene with two suns. And it also mentions an elliptical orbit like Nibiru.

Just watch the opening scene and listen to what it says and compare it to what we all know about in the conspiracy world. You'll know what I mean.........


Watch and LISTEN to the opening scene of this film.




Last Edited by MG-42 on 07/14/2011 06:28 AM
No New World Order, only a New World of Brotherhood and Unity.

'The workers have to rebel against their masters, and to become masters of themselves. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains'

Education is a RIGHT, NOT a privilege

No one deserves privileges, we ALL deserve rights! A privilege means that some one is better than you. Which is NOT CORRECT. We ALL breath the same air, we ALL share the same Earth. ONLY Brotherhood and Unity

We ALL bleed RED.

Thread: The real facts about your leaders / The Fascist NWO agenda
Thread: NATO funded neo-Nazi's during Yugoslav Civil War/breakup of Yugoslavia
Thread: NATO symbol is the Swastika/National Socialist Empire
Thread: the Doppler Effect, the spirals, and Nibiru
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1345008
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 04:07 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
I think it is an advert, although perhaps a little bit too subtle...

It mentions, "Igfest"

Which leads here: [link to igfest.org]
(some sort of games festival)

And on the Igfest site, there is a link to:
[link to 2.8hourslater.com]
(Zombie game)
Ultra Red

User ID: 1026222
Norway
07/08/2011 04:08 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
They're going to be very busy in a shithole such as Bristol. What a dump. Way to close to the bridge. Also out-dated Jamaican Yardie Gangs still in power there. What a joke.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1348141
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 05:38 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Well well, we all know how there is always some truth to movies such as 'Knowing' and many others.

I wonder if the zombie 'idea' isn't that far from the truth either. Notice I quoted idea.

People should watch the movie 'Night of the Comet'.


This film talks about elites and certain special bloodlines.
A zombie type disturbance after the passing of the comet.

There is even a scene with two suns.

Just watch the opening scene and listen to what it says and compare it to what we all know about in the conspiracy world. You'll know what I mean.........


Watch and LISTEN to the opening scene of this film.



 Quoting: MG-42



That's pure jokes and so true mate
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1348141
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 05:39 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
They're going to be very busy in a shithole such as Bristol. What a dump. Way to close to the bridge. Also out-dated Jamaican Yardie Gangs still in power there. What a joke.
 Quoting: Ultra Red


bump
Instance

User ID: 1452693
Australia
07/08/2011 05:42 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
It's a joke son, I said a joke.
(nice boy but his elevator don't go all the way up).
n·stance/ˈinstəns/Noun 1. An example or single occurrence of something: "an instance of corruption"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1459493
Spain
07/08/2011 05:43 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
It's a joke son, I said a joke.
(nice boy but his elevator don't go all the way up).
 Quoting: Instance


chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1459530
United States
07/08/2011 05:59 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Well well, we all know how there is always some truth to movies such as 'Knowing' and many others.

I wonder if the zombie 'idea' isn't that far from the truth either. Notice I quoted idea.

People should watch the movie 'Night of the Comet'.


This film talks about elites and certain special bloodlines.
A zombie type disturbance after the passing of the comet.

There is even a scene with two suns.

Just watch the opening scene and listen to what it says and compare it to what we all know about in the conspiracy world. You'll know what I mean.........


Watch and LISTEN to the opening scene of this film.



 Quoting: MG-42


hmmm...whats kinda interesting is the producer of this film was in the US Navy when this film was released..makes you wonder....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1459530
United States
07/08/2011 06:00 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Well well, we all know how there is always some truth to movies such as 'Knowing' and many others.

I wonder if the zombie 'idea' isn't that far from the truth either. Notice I quoted idea.

People should watch the movie 'Night of the Comet'.


This film talks about elites and certain special bloodlines.
A zombie type disturbance after the passing of the comet.

There is even a scene with two suns.

Just watch the opening scene and listen to what it says and compare it to what we all know about in the conspiracy world. You'll know what I mean.........


Watch and LISTEN to the opening scene of this film.



 Quoting: MG-42


hmmm...whats kinda interesting is the producer of this film was in the US Navy when this film was released..makes you wonder....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1459530


[link to en.wikipedia.org]
oRbZ

User ID: 1459518
United Kingdom
07/08/2011 06:11 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
If this is not a joke then it is a blatant example of them wasting taxpayers money...again.

Is like that "relaxation room" Borris johnson spent something like £25,000 on for it to only get turned in to an office 12 months later.

They were spending like £1000 on a fucking chair, I bet whoever is responsible for this getting printed up has profited or at the very least someone they know has.

Fuckers.

Oh here is link for that example of waste aswell.

[link to www.thisislondon.co.uk]
stormer

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South Africa
07/08/2011 06:30 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Pinned!!!
jihad2zombiesjihaddamned2
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery - Bob Marley
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
07/08/2011 06:35 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
I really don't find all these "kill the zombies" manuals funny. At all.
Anonymous Coward
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07/08/2011 06:39 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
apparently our government thought it was a good idea to copy

[link to www.metro.co.uk]
Anonymous Coward
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07/08/2011 06:46 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion


[link to video.godlikeproductions.com]
Anonymous Coward
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07/08/2011 07:00 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion



It's cos they've been watching the whole series of Being Human, set in Bristol.. before they moved to Barry in Wales. Started really good.. but got a bit dark by the end.

Stun guns? we're not allowed stun guns in the UK, though I've got electronic circuit diagrams on how to build them.. but it's 'life' imprisonment if caught with one. Not worth it.

sigh.. mind you.. everytime I leave the house I see Zombies! or at least they seem to act like them! uuughhh...guhhuhh..
Anonymous Coward
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07/08/2011 07:03 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
wtf
 Quoting: moonsinger


wtf your avatar looks like me!
Upsy Daisy

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07/08/2011 07:06 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Mr Store wrote to Bristol City Council and said that as a responsible parent he wanted to know that adequate provision for any such attack had been made.

He said: "I would like to know whether Bristol City Council is better prepared than those nay-sayers in the East Midlands."

In response the council, with its tongue firmly in its cheek, published the Contingency Plan For Handling Zombie Outbreaks in Bristol.

The document also offered training for officers at the gaming festival igfest, which takes place in May.

It added: "Top tip for personal development: Staff fully qualified in zombie handling may qualify for partial exemption and accreditation in the training for handling pirate outbreaks, and for spotting the difference between genuine hot air balloons and evil giant floaty space aliens. Speak to your departmental Learning Development Partner for more details."


[link to www.thisisbristol.co.uk]
What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
Anonymous Coward
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07/08/2011 07:07 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
They're going to be very busy in a shithole such as Bristol. What a dump. Way to close to the bridge. Also out-dated Jamaican Yardie Gangs still in power there. What a joke.
 Quoting: Ultra Red


bump
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1348141
kinkyemo

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07/08/2011 07:11 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Its idiocy Like that which makes me ashamed to be English Please someone drop kick me into another country one with an ounce of intelligence please?

Who wants me?
Twitter @Dauntless_85
Anonymous Coward
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07/08/2011 07:16 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
This is long overdue and hopefully all other councils will soon follow suit.

Well done bristol for setting an example.
Anonymous Coward
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07/08/2011 07:17 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
[link to www.metro.co.uk]

METRO REPORTER - 7th July, 2011
0
Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Bristol city council have issued a guide for fending off the unwanted attentions of flesh-eating zombies.
Related Tags:Bristol

Just in case a zombie attacks, here's what you need to do...
The document shows the best way to kill those bothersome  reanimated corpses. It outlines a four-stage alert system following an invasion and says codewords will be used to provide secret instructions to the public.
The brief also includes details of how people can equip themselves with weapons, such as stun guns and protective suits.


...
 Quoting: Bunnyuk 1107757





seriously,

this is from some April fools article right



ahahahahahah



Zombies,


oh man that would be great,


If there is doom I'm hoping for either

Zombies

or the Cloverfield Monster




anonimalle

User ID: 1459571
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07/08/2011 07:19 AM
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Re: Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
[link to www.metro.co.uk]

METRO REPORTER - 7th July, 2011
0
Bristol city council release guide for tackling a zombie invasion
Bristol city council have issued a guide for fending off the unwanted attentions of flesh-eating zombies.
Related Tags:Bristol

Just in case a zombie attacks, here's what you need to do...
The document shows the best way to kill those bothersome  reanimated corpses. It outlines a four-stage alert system following an invasion and says codewords will be used to provide secret instructions to the public.
The brief also includes details of how people can equip themselves with weapons, such as stun guns and protective suits.



 Quoting: Bunnyuk 1107757


wtf is right.
Behind every myth lies a mystery, and every legend holds an echo of the truth ……
Que Sera Sera

"For not by numbers of men nor by measure of body but by valor of soul is war decided"

Bilisarius

" At the siege of Vienna in 1683 Islam seemed poised to overrun Christian Europe. We are in a new phase of a very old war."

Gates of Vienna.

"May we smite our enemies to the darkest chamber of hell, for we wish only to live in peace, and they desire only to put their boot upon our neck."





GLP