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Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave

 
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 03:13 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Youre gonna make another psychopath if it keeps going the same
Sol-tari

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01/25/2016 03:18 PM

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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
do you wanna chat Kay?
happy to give email, ya can even stalk ye olde facebook first if ya like....ai t updated it in a while tho ;)
Wanderer
MyNameIsRickMoranis
Turning Japanese

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01/25/2016 03:24 PM

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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Hello Sol
Sol-tari

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01/25/2016 03:29 PM

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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Hello Sol
 Quoting: MyNameIsRickMoranis


sup Rick
was glad to see ya back
Wanderer
Anonymous Coward
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01/25/2016 03:30 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
do you wanna chat Kay?
happy to give email, ya can even stalk ye olde facebook first if ya like....ai t updated it in a while tho ;)
 Quoting: Sol-tari


She is channeling
Anonymous Coward
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01/25/2016 03:52 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Look, if you dont get it its not directed at you okay
 Quoting: Kayli Lark

Who steers your chariot?
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
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01/25/2016 04:02 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Not me. Look, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys right now. It WAS Caylus, and there is no more Caylus. I can't control creating alters anymore, everybody I see and meet becomes an alter because there is nothing to tell me , 'yes, that's you, no that's not you', so everything gets stored, like photographically, becoming me
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:03 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
that's why I keep insisting, control me, tell me what to do, because Caylus did that, and there is no more caylus, no more director, nobody to say, 'look that man is going to fuck you up, don't go with him, what he says is not what he means'. That's what Caylus did, and she managed it by being a psychopath
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:04 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I'm not trying to blame everybody but me, I'm blaming me so much that I can't take myself anymore, that's how I got to this place in the first place the first time, and then I repressed it so deeply it culminated in the omega programming incident because I am not capable of holding others accountable , I never have been so I take abuse until I can no longer live with it, I don't have a safeword, I never have
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:06 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
that's what I'm trying to say, I can't stand the self-abuse anymore, and without people around me I can't dig myself out of this hole, nor can I ask for help, I need a helping hand, I need somebody to extend one, or I am going to drown because there is no more Caylus to help me figure shit out.
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:08 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Like I can clearly see I am being pushed towards a certain behavior, but it's the same thing as those four adults trying to push me through the door at the hospital, I am not going in there. Sorry. if you take me by the hand, lead me there, sit with me, I'll be fine, but I'm not going to be pushed through that fucking door because you have no idea what happened to me in that room, and I can't speak of it because it was so scary
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:10 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
The room would have been enough, but then there was so, so, so much more after that. there was the worm, the tapeworm, mom's, the hospital, the enemas, the 'constipation', the isolation, the tests, the total silence, the punishment, when I already hated myself in the first place, like, I can't be any better, and whether I'm punishing me or the Illum are, I don't care, I'm either telling me or telling them, stop, and it won't stop.
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:11 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
That's why I lash out, because I am sick of my role as the person who gets raped for being the way that I am, I want somebody, anybody else, for once in my life, to take responsibility, anybody.

I never had that, so Caylus is now that. I blame her.
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:12 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Not me. Look, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys right now. It WAS Caylus, and there is no more Caylus. I can't control creating alters anymore, everybody I see and meet becomes an alter because there is nothing to tell me , 'yes, that's you, no that's not you', so everything gets stored, like photographically, becoming me
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


When I see somebody and then they disappear, bam, that's an alter. This has happened to me throughout life, over and over and over and over, losing best friend after best friend to the yawning abyss, and why, because I am such a terrible piece of shit? What else can I say?

Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 01/25/2016 04:13 PM
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:15 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Isn't it easier, then, for me to just say fine, then leave me alone and let me be alone where I can at least be sure I won't be responsible for more betrayal, eliciting more disdain and hatred from people who see only what is bad in me? I want to see the good in everybody and take the bad upon myself. When somebody says anything bad about anybody I automatically assume now they are talking about me.

Whereas, once upon a time, Caylus would have been the one to filter wtf reality is, and say no, liath, he/she is not talking about you , he/she is talking about somebody else he/she has met.

I no longer have that ability, which makes the world extremely confusing and scary.
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:16 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Caylus created Captain Cryptotard so our empathetic capacity would not spiral into something out of control like a fractal psychosis which it has now become
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
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01/25/2016 04:18 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
That's why I lash out, because I am sick of my role as the person who gets raped for being the way that I am, I want somebody, anybody else, for once in my life, to take responsibility, anybody.

I never had that, so Caylus is now that. I blame her.
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


Or perhaps I blame Darrah, and she can have all the dirty shame that I have been harboring.

I wish I could remain anonymous to say all this, but at least now I will be free. birds flown the coop on it, truthfully i just no longer care who knows. it makes others uncomfortable to hear, but they don't have to listen.

you can just leave if you don't like it, I know hearing about it sucks
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
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01/25/2016 04:20 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
Youre gonna make another psychopath if it keeps going the same
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


I HAD to become a psychopath because I could no longer deal with the abuse, either by myself or by others, so I had to stop feeling emotions to cope with reality in a functional manner which seemed preferable to me than asking for help
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
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01/25/2016 04:22 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I know there are many who dislike me and want to enlighten me to the 'way things are', but I already know you don't like me, and am in no way insistent that you be around me. As per me chasing people away, I am a programmed multiple and I am saying I need to be controlled because I am like a kid who has no fucking idea how I am supposed to act anymore without a context and somebody else leading the interaction. I DO get commands from other alters and with no Caylus to play Head Programmer with herself, all the commands just go haywire and i'll take ANY suggestion, literally from any of them.
Anonymous Coward
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01/25/2016 04:23 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I'm an MK survivor. I've become paranoid, and of course that doesn't mean they are not out to get me.

I had an extremely unusual heinous situation unfold in October. I was offered a job, and it now appears it was some sort of, and I can't describe it any other way, a Phych out by a witch. This was just as I was considering that I would like to have some sort of official employment to offset this insurance scam, and now I see how they are making it virtually impossible for some one over 40 to be gainfully employed and feed themselves with that salary.

For 16 houes work, I earned 130 dollars. In my 50s I'm estimating I could get at least 500 an hour to be a call girl. 250 to sing in a bar, 50 an hour to clean toilets for wealthy people independently.

The suicide programing is that hardest especially when you woke up early on (12) and then resisted until you were fully awake , for me that was recently(mid 50s) and Im not functional anymore.

I reached out here a couple of times and just got laughed at.

This is what they are doing to us. I receive slave prostitute programming as part of my story, so...

I would have to return to Granny Glam web cam sites or being an outright hooker to live at all, not just well.
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
United States
01/25/2016 04:24 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I know there are many who dislike me and want to enlighten me to the 'way things are', but I already know you don't like me, and am in no way insistent that you be around me. As per me chasing people away, I am a programmed multiple and I am saying I need to be controlled because I am like a kid who has no fucking idea how I am supposed to act anymore without a context and somebody else leading the interaction. I DO get commands from other alters and with no Caylus to play Head Programmer with herself, all the commands just go haywire and i'll take ANY suggestion, literally from any of them.
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


Zero, for example, from Holes, STEALS SHOES lol - I had to figure out that the shoes weren't my shoes, because I Couldn't even remember whether or not I was supposed to take them - can you imagine how a person could get a little fucked in the head with so many personalities and with the 'head'/'lead' personality totally obliterated? I'm not blaming somebody specific for murdering her, I'm just saying, whoever is acting game master pushed too far and she died.
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
United States
01/25/2016 04:26 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I'm an MK survivor. I've become paranoid, and of course that doesn't mean they are not out to get me.

I had an extremely unusual heinous situation unfold in October. I was offered a job, and it now appears it was some sort of, and I can't describe it any other way, a Phych out by a witch. This was just as I was considering that I would like to have some sort of official employment to offset this insurance scam, and now I see how they are making it virtually impossible for some one over 40 to be gainfully employed and feed themselves with that salary.

For 16 houes work, I earned 130 dollars. In my 50s I'm estimating I could get at least 500 an hour to be a call girl. 250 to sing in a bar, 50 an hour to clean toilets for wealthy people independently.

The suicide programing is that hardest especially when you woke up early on (12) and then resisted until you were fully awake , for me that was recently(mid 50s) and Im not functional anymore.

I reached out here a couple of times and just got laughed at.

This is what they are doing to us. I receive slave prostitute programming as part of my story, so...

I would have to return to Granny Glam web cam sites or being an outright hooker to live at all, not just well.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 69655177


hugs
There is no excuse for it, and the people who laugh, point fingers, or act callous, they can suck a dick for real, it's something that deserves patience and empathy, and there's no way of dealing with it except by extending love and understanding
I hope you can get that from somebody, or better yet from some people
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
United States
01/25/2016 04:29 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I know there are many who dislike me and want to enlighten me to the 'way things are', but I already know you don't like me, and am in no way insistent that you be around me. As per me chasing people away, I am a programmed multiple and I am saying I need to be controlled because I am like a kid who has no fucking idea how I am supposed to act anymore without a context and somebody else leading the interaction. I DO get commands from other alters and with no Caylus to play Head Programmer with herself, all the commands just go haywire and i'll take ANY suggestion, literally from any of them.
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


Zero, for example, from Holes, STEALS SHOES lol - I had to figure out that the shoes weren't my shoes, because I Couldn't even remember whether or not I was supposed to take them - can you imagine how a person could get a little fucked in the head with so many personalities and with the 'head'/'lead' personality totally obliterated? I'm not blaming somebody specific for murdering her, I'm just saying, whoever is acting game master pushed too far and she died.
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


I am not totally rational right now, I have to relearn everything, and nobody has extended me patience, kindness, understanding, and love really - everybody hates me for acting wrong, and I can take unlimited punishment and abuse for my misbehavior, but just one act of kindness undeerstanding and love would have been all I needed to heal, and nobody ever gave me the benefit of the doubt and said to themselves wow, maybe there is some shit going on with this chick and we shouldn't hate her and ostracize her, maybe.

I mean I don't want to expect unreasonable things from people but look, it's all I've ever been capable of doing, empathizing, and at a certain point a heart hopes, a heart wishes, that somebody out there could have the capacity to return that when you need it the very very most, on the darkest night of the soul, and people online have actually been so kind and supportive and understanding but its all moot when the physical faces that live in the same houses as you hate you so much they won't speak a word, when you can see the hatred literally seeping from their eyes, I'm not blind, I hate myself enough, I wish that I didn't have to make more lives miserable by my mere presence within it
BHZP

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01/25/2016 04:31 PM
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Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
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01/25/2016 04:31 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I understand now where schizophrenics are coming from by hearing the voices and such, the commands to do things, they are speaking directly I assume to the subconscious protocols within their own minds, and there's no core shell to filter out commands within the unconscious, like a program with no motherboard. perhaps abuse and trauma can fry this core shell, this hardware container??
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
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01/25/2016 04:33 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I know there are many who dislike me and want to enlighten me to the 'way things are', but I already know you don't like me, and am in no way insistent that you be around me. As per me chasing people away, I am a programmed multiple and I am saying I need to be controlled because I am like a kid who has no fucking idea how I am supposed to act anymore without a context and somebody else leading the interaction. I DO get commands from other alters and with no Caylus to play Head Programmer with herself, all the commands just go haywire and i'll take ANY suggestion, literally from any of them.
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


And i'll take any suggestion from any person who knows my triggers and accesses because I need direction so badly - thus I can end up in some fucked up situations
Kayli Lark

User ID: 70736420
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01/25/2016 04:35 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
On a dime, at the drop of a hat, in one night, because I had one psychotic episode, everybody I ever knew and loved turned on me permanently. Everybody I ever trusted, I lost. Everybody I ever thought I knew, dropped out of my life as if they'd never been in it. I'm not a bad person. I'm not irredeemable, am I ? I keep hearing that I am some sort of monster, some sort of terrible horrible freak, and I cannot take it anymore, they have kept me so isolated that now there is nothing else but the terrible coldness of lonely.

Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 01/25/2016 04:35 PM
Kayli Lark

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01/25/2016 04:36 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
So if it's silence they want, it's what's left when there is nobody left to say 'no'.
Anonymous Coward
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01/25/2016 04:37 PM
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Re: Little Girl Takes Out CIA Mind Control Satellite While Trying To Make Her A Slave
I know there are many who dislike me and want to enlighten me to the 'way things are', but I already know you don't like me, and am in no way insistent that you be around me. As per me chasing people away, I am a programmed multiple and I am saying I need to be controlled because I am like a kid who has no fucking idea how I am supposed to act anymore without a context and somebody else leading the interaction. I DO get commands from other alters and with no Caylus to play Head Programmer with herself, all the commands just go haywire and i'll take ANY suggestion, literally from any of them.
 Quoting: Kayli Lark


Zero, for example, from Holes, STEALS SHOES lol - I had to figure out that the shoes weren't my shoes, because I Couldn't even remember whether or not I was supposed to take them - can you imagine how a person could get a little fucked in the head with so many personalities and with the 'head'/'lead' personality totally obliterated? I'm not blaming somebody specific for murdering her, I'm just saying, whoever is acting game master pushed too far and she died.
 Quoting: Kayli Lark

We can't read the entire thread, but multiples and splits aren't necessarily MK. It's the 49th page can you summarize your case please?
I believe I may have averted splitting with having singing and acting talents, so I began to channel my energies early into singing along to records perfectly at a young age and "pretending" I was this or that character. I have an amazing ability to sound and phrase exactly like a recording, and I mean way beyond some crass karaoke singer.

I have Mk "multiples" but not unconsciously I don't go back and forth between "alters" since I had acting talent the alter programming must have been buffeted by something or some talent I have they didn't bargain on, so I didn't "split" I remember all kinds of things, names, places, really famous scientists; a great book when I'm ready to be disappeared.

I do have fears of long buried memories of rituals, and my worst fear is that there are bodies buried in the various wooded areas around the homes my father always choose to buy.
Anonymous Coward
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01/25/2016 04:39 PM
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Remember yesterday today for tomorrow :)