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Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is

 
Sirius2045
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08/03/2011 04:11 PM
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Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
[link to www.theonion.com]

"Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you."

"And hell, as long as we're being honest, I might as well tell you that a truer estimate of the U.S. unemployment rate is actually up around 16 percent, with a 0.7 percent annual rate of economic growth if we're lucky—if we're lucky," continued Bernanke, nearly knocking a full beer over while gesturing with his hands. "Of course, if everybody knew that, it would likely cripple financial markets across the entire fucking globe, even in various emerging economies with self- sustaining growth."

Doom on...

hiding
Gab1159

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08/03/2011 04:13 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
Doom on???

Onion News dude...
Love!
BubbleHead

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08/03/2011 04:14 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
Doom on???

Onion News dude...
 Quoting: Gab1159



^^^ This
Sirius2045  (OP)

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08/03/2011 04:15 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
Doom on???

Onion News dude...
 Quoting: Gab1159


Does that make what's said in the article any less true? Sure, the scenario with him being "sloshed" might be satire as well as the article in general, but there's facts spread throughout the whole thing. So yes, doom on.
BubbleHead

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08/03/2011 04:17 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
Doom on???

Onion News dude...
 Quoting: Gab1159


Does that make what's said in the article any less true? Sure, the scenario with him being "sloshed" might be satire as well as the article in general, but there's facts spread throughout the whole thing. So yes, doom on.
 Quoting: Sirius2045


It's satire. 100% made up. Even if it were true, No one is going to believe you with a story from the Onion.
Sirius2045  (OP)

User ID: 1485599
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08/03/2011 04:22 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
Doom on???

Onion News dude...
 Quoting: Gab1159


Does that make what's said in the article any less true? Sure, the scenario with him being "sloshed" might be satire as well as the article in general, but there's facts spread throughout the whole thing. So yes, doom on.
 Quoting: Sirius2045


It's satire. 100% made up. Even if it were true, No one is going to believe you with a story from the Onion.
 Quoting: BubbleHead


I understand that it's satire and have no problem admitting that, but that's other people's problems if they don't want to believe it because it's from the onion and the situation where the interview came from is made up. Tell me if this statement from the article is false though:

"Numerous bar patrons slowly nodded in agreement as Bernanke went on to suggest the United States could pass three or four more stimulus packages and "it wouldn't even matter."

"You think that's going to create long-term economic growth, let alone promote job creation?" Bernanke said. "We're way beyond that, my friend. There are no jobs, okay? There's nothing. I think that calls for another drink, don't you?"

Plenty of truth in the satire, as is usually the case with any satire. At the very least, this is an entertaining story for sheep who have no idea about any of this. Sure, they might not believe it because they know it's satire, but it allows for the possibility of someone questioning their own beliefs and I encourage that as much as possible.
Gab1159

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08/03/2011 04:23 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
Doom on???

Onion News dude...
 Quoting: Gab1159


Does that make what's said in the article any less true? Sure, the scenario with him being "sloshed" might be satire as well as the article in general, but there's facts spread throughout the whole thing. So yes, doom on.
 Quoting: Sirius2045


I see your point. America's fucked up just like the article said...but it's still Onion News...I don't think it will initiate any doom...

PS: I do believe doom has been on for quite some time now...

Last Edited by Gab1159 on 08/03/2011 04:24 PM
Love!
Punk-A$$ets

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08/03/2011 04:25 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
LMAO - thats funny. Sad, true but funny.
Sirius2045  (OP)

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08/03/2011 04:26 PM
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Re: Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
LMAO - thats funny. Sad, true but funny.
 Quoting: Punk-A$$ets


+1





GLP