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It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.

 
oRbZ
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User ID: 671598
United Kingdom
08/03/2011 07:28 PM
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It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
Yippeee it's gone 12 so its me birthday, 33 today.

I have a fat spliff a fridge full of beers two butifull kids and a sexy woman asleep upstairs, what more can a man want apart from a good laugh.


A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.

They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, "I make bets."

The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet."

The old lady says, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?"

"Sure," says the president.

That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet.

The next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's balls are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this.

The little old lady looks closely at his balls and then asks if she can feel them.

"Well, OK" says the president, $25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, "What is wrong with your lawyer?"

She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's balls in my hands!"
oRbZ  (OP)

User ID: 671598
United Kingdom
08/03/2011 07:34 PM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
I think some music is on the menu.

oRbZ  (OP)

User ID: 671598
United Kingdom
08/03/2011 07:52 PM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
Evan03

User ID: 1376616
United States
08/03/2011 07:52 PM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
Happy Birfmas!!
Life is tough, but its tougher when you're stupid. -john wayne

Truth is the new hate speech in our age of absurdity-Ted Nougat

Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupid.
oRbZ  (OP)

User ID: 671598
United Kingdom
08/03/2011 07:54 PM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
Happy Birfmas!!
 Quoting: Evan03


hf
GeekOfTheWeek

User ID: 1383040
United States
08/03/2011 08:23 PM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
Happy birthday. Now get in your birthday suit and wake up the misses in a very erotic way!!! ;-)
I love physics. It bonds us eternally, it's what makes our computers work, it's what's in my morning cup of coffee, it's the thing that keeps the universe from vanishing due to lack of belief...
Vision Thing

User ID: 1479535
United States
08/03/2011 08:26 PM

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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
band twirl band
birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1364231
United States
08/03/2011 08:33 PM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
wow, some good dubstep.
xen

User ID: 1370697
Australia
08/03/2011 08:36 PM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
happy birthday from oz!

look for a light show before you go to sleep ;)
oRbZ  (OP)

User ID: 1493488
United Kingdom
08/04/2011 03:50 AM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
happy birthday from oz!

look for a light show before you go to sleep ;)
 Quoting: xen


Have been seeing them every night for the past week, has got so regular I asked the mrs for a decent camcorder for me birthday so I can document this and show others.

Thanks for the birthday wishes am nursing a hangover fell asleep with the laptop and glp on my lap lol.
oRbZ  (OP)

User ID: 1493488
United Kingdom
08/04/2011 03:51 AM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
Happy birthday. Now get in your birthday suit and wake up the misses in a very erotic way!!! ;-)
 Quoting: GeekOfTheWeek


That was the plan but got drunk and fell asleep, must be getting old lol.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1493480
United States
08/04/2011 03:57 AM
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Re: It's me birthday I'm drunk and the Mrs is in bed.
Happy Birthday!!!

ana





GLP