Is Respecting a dumb elder supposed to be a cruel joke from God?

You did the right thing!
Time is on your side, fuckem.

the elder suck,Hitler was right.

Last Edited by IsTime on 10/02/2011 10:11 PM

Wisdom & respect has absolutely nothing to do with age.

It depends on the individuals in question.

Some 20 year olds would have more wisdom & respect than some 80 year olds could generate even if they lived to 100.

I prefer to use Stalin as an example cause I truly believe my bossy older sister Becky was part of Stalin's soul in another life but since you bring up Hitler then get this...

Did you know my older sisters,and my older brother all have the same Astrology sign as Hitler. No shit! They all have Hitlers Astrology sign. I'm going to make my own birthday card for her and let her know that April first on my oldest sisters birthday.

If the elders a bitch they had it comin to em. shoulda said... respect my authorita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a 15 hour shift I made a drink and go to the back yard to sit in my sisters garden alone to isolate and veg. When she would come out there to boss me I just couldn't believe her audacity that she would even come up to me when I would distance myself from people so well. I would have even respected her authority if she allowed me my space when I'm getting off from work or having one freaking day off to sleep but the bitch seriesly pushed it. My mom screamed I was wrong but I don't believe I was. I believe that my mom is that mentally disabled and slow.

I only say sir and mam to people i respect or i know have done great things not random people i see.

It's evident that your thoughts are less then stellar about her. Your mouth has probably indicated to her that your character is questionable at best. Sometimes the impression we give others by actions and words can cause these reactions. Instead of being combative and hostile with her why not show her the love of Christ? Try doing that for 30 days and see her attitude change towards you. God bless you.

It's good to respect your elders.. but if she's got it out for you then sometimes you gotta. On top of everything else, I hope I make things better for you and everyone else.

She sounds like a psycopath.

I (at 18) had a guy try to pull that crap on me and he was 50 or so. Just because you are older doesn't mean you are right and/or smarter. I laughed in his face and never talked to him again. My advice is that if you can cut out people who are like that or are just angry/mean people in general do it at all costs. Life is too short to be spending it with people who don't know how to act socially and get along with people. Surround yourself with people you enjoy being with and you can't go wrong.

Some people can not be fixed no matter how nice you are to them.

That's true, being Christ to someone is beneficial to the person being Christ it's an exercise in patience and love. Again sometimes it's the attitude that we ourselves give that cause a reaction good or bad in others. Not saying this is the case with this young lady; however the language that she using to demonstrate her frustration is volatile and can makes things worse not better.

Is Respecting a dumb elder supposed to be a cruel joke from God?


Nope. god does not exist

I see your point but I don't have enough hours in the day to deal with that hag. I'd rather waste my energy on sleeping after I get off from work,having a drink outside and relaxing after work,or like what the other person said to do. Not waste my time with miserable people and surround myself with people that can communicate with me. It seems so much more peaceful and less stressful. thank God she went back home today. She lives 4 hours away.

so go fuck your sister then

That doesn't even make sense idiot.

Of course not, its just some b.s. that North Americans came up with on their own without help.

When you are old(er) you will understand.

Then you will be complaining about stupid youth.

Someone once asked Jesus what to do to be saved. Jesus replied "What do your laws say?" And the man said, "That I love God with all my heart, mind, and spirit, and also that I love my neighbor as myself." Jesus said, "Yes, if you do this, you can be saved."

The man then proceeded to ask, "But who is my neighbor?" Perhaps he was thinking that his neighbor would be someone like himself. This is when Jesus told the story of the Good Samaritan. You should read this story. If Jesus was telling the story to you, he would not use a Samaritan, because that would not make much sense to many people today.

It would probably make more sense today if he said that a Muslim man was lying in a ditch and a Christian helped him. OR that a Christian was lying in a ditch and a Muslim helped him. OR a jewish was lying in a ditch and a Muslim helped him. OR something like that.

But if he was telling the story to you personally, he would say that your neighbor is the person you dislike the most.

Now I have people in my own family that seem to purposely make it very difficult to love them. Some people you just really can hardly tolerate to be around.
When a person is very difficult like this, you must remember that God loves them, and God also loves you.

You don't want to go to hell, and even if you might say it to another person, for them to go to hell, if you could see the place for a few seconds, I think you would not wish it for anyone to be there. At least I hope not.

When people are difficult or seem impossible to love, those are probably the ones that need it the most.

Now I know I am also preaching to myself because I have my own family issues and people that make it so hard to love.

All I can say is that I don't know what it is like to be you.

Just because someone is an "Elder" doesn't always make them smarter. Some wisdom is supposed to come with old age. I have met many older people who have been through a lot and have a lot to share. They honestly care about others and when they seem to point out flaws or offer advice, it is because they can see that you are about to make a mistake that they themselves once made. OR they can see you are about to make a mistake that that someone they knew once made. They have a lot of years of experience and they know it just can not end well. So some old people really do care and they just want what is best.



Some old people seem to be very opinionated or quick to offer their advice. If it is done out of love, then yes, you should listen to them. Because it really would be the smart thing to do. You might think you are different or that somehow these old people have no idea what life is like today. You think it will end differently for you. But then later you'll realize that somehow the old folks really did know a thing or two.

The one day you'll be old and warning the next generation about something. Of course, by then you will be the old one who is out of touch with what life is really like for a young person.

I think respecting Elderly people is something people should do, but I think some respect should be earned. There is a difference between respecting a wise old person who is kindly offering sound advice and respecting someone who is cruel.

Respect is earned at any age.

I have met people before who had that attitude. Respect me, I am Old therefore I should be respected. No, I don't think that is nessessarily so. Share with me some sound advice or offer me some wisdom or some reason why I should respect you. Let me see you living an upstanding life, a life worthy of respect. Let me see you as a leader or role model. Then I can respect you.

Just being 30 years older isn't enough.

If an Elderly person asks for help, and they are physically unable to help themselves, and even if they are mean, there is nothing wrong with helping them. You can do that. Just do it quickly and leave. You don't have to stay and chat for hours.

I don't think anyone is obligated to spend a lot of time with them though.

So say you have Elderly parents that are mean to you and they are poor. If your parents beat you or molested you or something like that, and were never really parents at all to you, then I don't think they have really earned anything. They can hardly call themselves your parents if they did that. But the loving thing would be to help them if you are able and if they are in need.If you can help them and if they ask, then you should offer some help so that they are not homeless or freezing to death or starving to death. If you can't tolerate being around them, you can send in a maid or home health or whatever. You don't have to physically be around someone if you can hardly tolerate being around them.


Sometimes you have to love someone by not being around them. Sometimes it is more loving to avoid someone.

I don't think God commands that you be in someone's presence if you don't want to be. Also, this is the oldest thing I have ever heard, but if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything. You don't have to speak to someone. Just try to ignore them if you can. Or say you have nothing more to say to them ever again.

We are supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves, but sometimes it it best and most loving to avoid a person who causes you difficulty.

Also, I know I don't know your situation, and I wasn't there, but it seemed that you did say some hurtful things that you could have avoided saying and still get your point across.

You didn't have to say anything about her daughter killing herself. That probably had nothing to do with anything you were arguing about. It just seems to be thrown into the conversation because you wanted to hurt her, and it probably really did hurt her feelings. Maybe you think she deserved that.

Sometimes when I am arguing I also bring up stuff that has nothing to do with what I am arguing with the person about. I just seem to find something I know is really going to hurt them.

I guess the best thing to do when you are arguing with someone is to stick to what you are arguing about.

What does the other person want? What do you want?

I have always heard that it is best to say things like " I hear you saying ____" and repeat back to the person what they said. That lets them know that you do hear what they are saying.

Like it would be "I hear you saying that you need me to move this furniture for you. I know this is important to you and I'll probably feel like doing it later. What I would like is for you to respect that I have worked hard today and that when I get home from work, I need time to just relax a while. I might not even feel like moving furniture at all today. This doesn't mean I am refusing to help you ever at all, it just means I am just tired."

How old are you?

I am 33.
I don't know how old the OP is. Probably the OP is like many people today who are working adults who live with family. There is nothing wrong with that. The economy is bad and many working adults have to live together with other family members. It is more common than you think and growing and growing increasingly so.

Situations like this are always tense because the older people will treat the adults like children, because in their mind these people are like children to them.

It can be hard to go from going to work where you have some position and status and respect as an adult, then going home where you are still treated like a child at times.

Is it their home?

If it were MY house and I had my mother at home caring for her a bit, and then someone started ordering me around after a hard day at work, I'd be like, You know what, I just worked hard today, and I want to relax in my own home.

From the post it seems as though the OP is living at home with the mother.

Believe me, that makes allllll the difference.

I can identify because I am 33. I do have a job and it is difficult to go from being an adult at work and having adult friends and being treated as an adult. Then come home and be treated like a child.

No matter how old I am, as long as I am at home with my Mom, I will be a child to her and my step father. I can't afford to move out yet. I don't have kids so I can't even get public assistance. Around her you need to have a lot of kids to get any help.

So as long as I live under my mom's roof, they make the rules. Yes there are times when I come home and I am tired from work and am still expected to do some things.

I also have a step Father who drinks and stays drunk every weekend. He just loves to get drunk. I mean loves it. He can say whatever he wants to say. And he can say some pretty mean stuff and then laugh it off because he was drunk. He also can do nothing to help himself or anyone. He gets drunk and then bitches when housework doesn't get done and stuff like that.

I have to love this man. I have to. I mean, if I say I love God and I don't love him, then I am lying.
But he makes it hard to love him sometimes. He is nice sometimes but not when he has been drinking. He works "Hard" all week long and thinks he deserves to drink. ANd it is his house so he can do what he wants.

Best to practice respect to all. Otherwise, we could easily fall into patterns where we disrespect those that we actually want around us/in over lives or WANT to respect or be respected in return.

Sounds like my crazy mother and sister. They used to "double-team" me but thank God for blessing me with strength and insight or I might have gone over the deep end too! Understand that crazy comes at every age and from your account, she's the worst kind of crazy. She must've been crazy since childhood and she'll be a crazy grandma. She sounds like she hates women and people like her hate what they wish they could be but can't. Also, keep telling yourself that your respect is valuable and it needs to be earned.

She sounds like a Drama queen that lives on emotional outbreaks. Imagine she's a vampire and she feeds on your hurt feelings and negative reactions that's why she elicits them from you. Don't give her the satisfaction of feeding on you. Literally block her out, she doesn't exist, she is a lower life form you can ignore. You can't be accused of disrespect for your silence. She "sucked out" her kids' soul, she's trying to do the same to you. If she keeps attacking you, stand your ground quietly and laugh at her in your head. If your uncle doesn't have the balls to deal with her, you have to fight for yourself, but FIGHT SMART. Always remember, she NEEDS you to feel bad so DON'T. Laugh at her. It works! I know it may seem like hell but look at it as your training ground. You can go beyond this and when you do, you'll be amazed how far you can go and that dreams DO come true! :)

It's my sisters house. I stay for the Summers and this time I stayed slightly longer cause my mother had stage 4 cancer. My uncles wife who came for 3 days was the one who started in on me. I talked to my mom about what happened. We were calm about it. We agreed that my uncles wife does over step boundaries,and my mom did agree,but she also said I made that lady cry and I didn't have to be so gutt-er-ral.

My point to her and to see where other people are coming from is I tried calmly telling her twice I'm in the back yard by the garden for my space. I even said I needed to be alone and the lady wouldn't let up. I wanted to end it very sternly. I was. I didn't mean to make her cry but at least she is more clear about my privacy and boundaries. I needed that! She wouldn't get it.

And Anonymous Coward 2315886,

Also to say on my part. I don't just live with my mom. I always live as a independent woman in fall winter spring somewhere else. However since she has stage 4 cancer now I found a closer apartment to her house instead of moving far away to another state like I usually do every year.

I would give you good karma if I could.