Portuus super gray alien and his jackover sticks

Well, darn if Portuus the super gray alien hasn't promised to whack the big blubber butt banksters with his jackover stick and give them a good gray matter hangover.
He said thats what caused Rome to fall, it started with Portuus's father Nuu-goo hitting Nero cesar in the head with a Jackover stick and he burnt down Rome.
Then he hit Caligula and he went orgy-crazy.
Portuus has told me that the aliens from Zena Nebulosus have refined the power and frequency of the common Jackover stick so it will not cause the average human to turn into a type 7 kaa-wii (shithead in Zena Nebulosian)......
THE SIGN OF THE IMPENDING JACKOVER STICK WHACK WILL BE THAT THE MOON TURNS THE COLOR OF BLOOD AND THE SUN DANCES IN THE WINTER SOLSTICE.