Look, next yr, just go get a live bird from a turkey farm pay for it and kill it yourself. you know how? chop it's damn head off! shit, how hard is that? Then have a huge cauldron of boiling water ready dunk the bird for at least 1 full minute take it out pluck off all the feathers. string it upside down by it's feet, clean the guts outs out. keep the giblets, wash those to use in the gravy, clean off all the pin feathers, wash the bird thoroughly as clean as possible again inside and out.
then find the largest canning pot you can get if the bird will fit inside, add cold water, 1 cup of sea salt, stir to dissolve. Add the turkey and let it brine overnight, change the water in eight hours and the next morning,drain off the water, wash your bird again, season and roast it any way you like or fry it.