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Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15152757
United States
06/03/2012 11:54 AM
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Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
I'm not talking the usual " lean against a stop sigh " move either, I need something creative.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17239578
Ireland
06/03/2012 11:55 AM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
It's best to make it as obvious as possible . This is the best way to deal with it .
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17282039
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 11:56 AM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
You need to ask yourselve exactly WHY you have an itchy bunghole!

damned

buttahhh
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/03/2012 11:56 AM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Gold Bond powder after you shower. No more itch.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13788580
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 11:56 AM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
stare up, intently, with a distinct look of fear, and when everyone else does the same, give that smelly hole a good hard scratch!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15152757
United States
06/03/2012 11:57 AM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
stare up, intently, with a distinct look of fear, and when everyone else does the same, give that smelly hole a good hard scratch!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13788580


cruise brilliant !!
Liquid_Pestilence

User ID: 11808335
United States
06/03/2012 12:01 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
I think i would need to ask myself why i had an itchy butthole in the first place. maybe some cleanup is in order..
"Fear paints pictures of ghosts and hangs them in the gallery of ignorance." Robert Green Ingersoll
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13788580
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 12:04 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
I think i would need to ask myself why i had an itchy butthole in the first place. maybe some cleanup is in order..
 Quoting: Liquid_Pestilence


it's piles. i have it. no big deal. just go to the docs and get some cream off him. sorted!

what's the longest hair on the human body?

the eyelash.

why's that? because when you scratch that brown starfish it pulls one of your eyes shut, ever notice that?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15152757
United States
06/03/2012 12:04 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Pfft, whatever, you guys act like you never got an itchy butt out of the blue in public.

I didn't ask you what to do if your asshole itches all the time, that's kind of obvious. You wash it.

What I'm asking is what creative maneuvers you guys have come up with.

For example:

What do you do if your boss wants to suddenly have a long discussion and you get it out of nowhere ?
last one
I just don't give a fuck

User ID: 8910120
United States
06/03/2012 12:04 PM

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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
just stick a dried corncob between your buttcheeks before you leave home. Constantly moving around back there, full time scratching with no need to do it yourself.
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

Rednecks, hillbillies, and cowboys will save the nation

I dreamed I was drinkin', woke up and I was

"we put our faith in maniacs"- Lemmy Kilmister
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17209584
United States
06/03/2012 12:05 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
You need to ask yourselve exactly WHY you have an itchy bunghole!

damned

buttahhh
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17282039


1. Didn't clean very well try a bidet.

2. Has hemorrhoid problems.

3. Needs a bath with good soap.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15152757
United States
06/03/2012 12:06 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
stare up, intently, with a distinct look of fear, and when everyone else does the same, give that smelly hole a good hard scratch!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13788580


cruise brilliant !!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15152757


That would make a great comedy sketch, seriously.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11145700
United States
06/03/2012 12:08 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
just stick a dried corncob between your buttcheeks before you leave home. Constantly moving around back there, full time scratching with no need to do it yourself.
 Quoting: last one


That might be the most redneck idea I have ever heard.
last one
I just don't give a fuck

User ID: 8910120
United States
06/03/2012 12:09 PM

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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
just stick a dried corncob between your buttcheeks before you leave home. Constantly moving around back there, full time scratching with no need to do it yourself.
 Quoting: last one


That might be the most redneck idea I have ever heard.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11145700


Thanks for the compliment.
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

Rednecks, hillbillies, and cowboys will save the nation

I dreamed I was drinkin', woke up and I was

"we put our faith in maniacs"- Lemmy Kilmister
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1342725
United States
06/03/2012 12:10 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Wash your ass with non-chemical soap and it probably won't itch.
Fucking bums.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1342725
United States
06/03/2012 12:11 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Wash your ass with non-chemical soap and it probably won't itch.
Fucking bums.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1342725


3$ on the internet.
For real.
Fuck.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15152757
United States
06/03/2012 12:11 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
just stick a dried corncob between your buttcheeks before you leave home. Constantly moving around back there, full time scratching with no need to do it yourself.
 Quoting: last one


This has potential

You could attach rubberbands to either end of the cob, wrap one around the heel of your shoe, and the other through a belt loop.

All day walk-n-scratch charlie
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1515139
Netherlands
06/03/2012 12:15 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
It's just a worm trying to get out of your butt
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1515139
Netherlands
06/03/2012 12:15 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
It's just a worm trying to get out of your butt
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14596164
Canada
06/03/2012 12:17 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
What a weird thread. Well, here's an idea, find a bench somewhere and sit down, then clench your butt cheeks together, maybe that will fix the itch! Lol.

Or, just give it a quick scratch, when no one is looking!
Kiljaeden the Banned

User ID: 4022785
Canada
06/03/2012 12:17 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Nah, just dig the itch away like no one is there. If people want to watch, not your problem. When problems like this arise, just think like a Wal-Mart shopper.
not even hitler can top drowning an entire planet of people.
atheism isn't a religion, it's a personal relationship with reality.
being an atheist, a christian threatening me with hell is like a
hippie threatening to punch me in my aura.
____________
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17295831
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 12:19 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
just do it, although i wouldnt put my hand in my underwear just do it on the outside of your trousers
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1528179
United States
06/03/2012 12:20 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
treat it as a challenge.

blend with the itch.

it doesnt control you, you control it.

you have mastered it ( and yourself) when the itch causes you no discomfort.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17293120
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 12:22 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
try cleaning your shithole after a turd. it helps butt neener
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11145700
United States
06/03/2012 12:22 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
treat it as a challenge.

blend with the itch.

it doesnt control you, you control it.

you have mastered it ( and yourself) when the itch causes you no discomfort.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1528179


hmm
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15152757
United States
06/03/2012 12:24 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Nah, just dig the itch away like no one is there. If people want to watch, not your problem. When problems like this arise, just think like a Wal-Mart shopper.
 Quoting: Kiljaeden the Banned


Maybe I should do the robot, that would throw 'em for a loop.

afro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17156535
United States
06/03/2012 12:25 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Nope....

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16862598
United States
06/03/2012 12:27 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
This is exactly why I will avoid anyone on GLP in my life. Take a shower and clean your arse.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13788580
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 12:29 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Nah, just dig the itch away like no one is there. If people want to watch, not your problem. When problems like this arise, just think like a Wal-Mart shopper.
 Quoting: Kiljaeden the Banned


Maybe I should do the robot, that would throw 'em for a loop.

afro
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15152757


could always say, in a stephen hawking voice, 'must..do..reboot!'

how do they know where the reboot button is on a robot? what's the chances a robot expert will be in your vicinity? very low i'd say!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13788580
United Kingdom
06/03/2012 12:30 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
This is exactly why I will avoid anyone on GLP in my life. Take a shower and clean your arse.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16862598


it disturbs me when Yanks spell 'arse' like you did there.

it removes my feelings of superiority over you.

stop it!! whip
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16235309
United States
06/03/2012 12:33 PM
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Re: Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?
Pfft, whatever, you guys act like you never got an itchy butt out of the blue in public.

I didn't ask you what to do if your asshole itches all the time, that's kind of obvious. You wash it.

What I'm asking is what creative maneuvers you guys have come up with.

For example:

What do you do if your boss wants to suddenly have a long discussion and you get it out of nowhere ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15152757


Pinworms!
You have pinworms, Sir!
Sir! You have Pinworms!





GLP