Déjà vu

killer! lol

what do people think about if they are not introspecting?

i suppose other people would be a good start?

teddy, i saw you with your girlfriend earlier, i know you do not need me.

could you please erase me?

awesome, how did i mess that one up?

this place is not my home

7 years of tracking my dreams has shown me that

but now i don't have any dreams anymore

---that means my home is nowhere

ie the void

with my attitude i would expect me to look like an emo goth

i smile at people, and they think i'm so free and happy

it's so easy to fake it

until i get pissed and give someone my death stare

what is the place of authenticity in the scheme of fake it till you make it?

you not honoring your word has placed me in a position to not honor mine! it's a shame caused i did enjoy the exchange. i told you i would walk! lol

i'm not sure what i did.

please help me.

please forgive me.

i do not understand.

can i fix whatever i did wrong?

can i undo it?

i'm so sorry.

do you understand how dumb i actually am?

whatever i did, i do not believe it was intentional.

i'm still learning.

do i just need to make it go the other direction?

i'm sorry that i can't do this right

i'm trying my best

i hope you're still around. i'm sorry, i'm just going to stay as still as possible from now on.

you promised that you wouldn't ask me to erase you, and you continued to do so! lol

would u like me to continue typing the words out?

i forgot i have made the biggest mental note of what i did wrong, i got really suicidal when i was out on my bike ride, i'm sorry, that's what i say when i'm suicidal.

dear lol, can you please forgive me?

i thought i was doing what you wanted

playing me! lol

i did not intend to play you, it's not in my nature to be intentionally deceptive.

i believe you know my heart, and you know that

i'm not sure what i saw earlier,

but may be i shouldn't be doing things when i'm in a depleted state

exactly what i would say if i was playing you! lol

so you're just trying to torture me for fun?

i'm actually laughing right now

i'm just not sure, am i actually laughing?

yes, i'm laughing.

i have kept a running counts of your use of triggers, 195 and counting! lol

i killed 195 people?

i need to work on my self control. i'm sorry. once i played a game with myself called "at war with staying still"

should i play that game with myself?

i know you have given me endless amounts of your time

i know you have been so patient with me

but i' really not understanding

please help me

i don't believe my conscious mind has any idea what my subconscious is doing then, all i know is i want to do right by you

lol

lol