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Im really getting tired of it all....

 
5ingularity
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08/05/2012 03:30 AM
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Im really getting tired of it all....
My quest in the unknown/spiritual/paranormal world began over 10 years ago. Back then I really committed myself to finding out what was going on out there. I knocked on many many doors, looked into many many things and read my butt off. Yes I do know more, Yes I can see what others don't see and Yes I have grown immensely form it. But I'm sick of it....I'm sick of living on the fringe, sick of going out to a bar not being able to enjoy myself because I can see pass all the social construct BS, tired of having a progressively harder time to find "real" (non IP based) people to which I can honestly speak from my heart. Funny thing is that the deeper I dig the more questions arise, its never freaking ending. Always on the watch of my own consciousness to not go coo coo puff on me and end up drooling in a psych ward.

Why o Why is the path to Gnosis so painful and lonely? (I know the answer...and that also pisses me off!) Probably better off with the blue pill?

PS...no, Im not gonna blow my brains out.

Last Edited by 5ingularity on 08/05/2012 03:31 AM
With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
Shoot straight Johnny

User ID: 1207708
United Kingdom
08/05/2012 03:35 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
You know the answer already? What do you think is the answer?
The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands.
Ain Soph Aur
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08/05/2012 03:36 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
You only need to know one word. The word is love. You only need to understand one thing. How to love.

First you must love yourself, and then you can love others. That is wisdom.

The first step is to forgive yourself, and then you can forgive others. This opens your heart.

Forget everything else. This is all that matters. I promise you. hf
Ain Soph Aur
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08/05/2012 03:37 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
You only need to knock on one door. The door to your heart. That is your soul.

You must seek to develop intelligence of the heart. That is the way.
MK_Ultra

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08/05/2012 03:39 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
I feel you OP.

It sucks.
Nothing is exactly as it seems, nor is it otherwise.

Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
5ingularity  (OP)

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08/05/2012 03:40 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
You know the answer already? What do you think is the answer?
 Quoting: Shoot straight Johnny


Id like to spell it out...but each is own and free will is prime...up to you buddy :)
With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
5ingularity  (OP)

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08/05/2012 03:43 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
You only need to knock on one door. The door to your heart. That is your soul.

You must seek to develop intelligence of the heart. That is the way.
 Quoting: Ain Soph Aur 9925617


I understand it, but what happens when after much mingling the only true unconditional love (that I more than willingly try to give) I have found is from my progenitors?
With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
bendinglight

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08/05/2012 03:44 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
My quest in the unknown/spiritual/paranormal world began over 10 years ago. Back then I really committed myself to finding out what was going on out there. I knocked on many many doors, looked into many many things and read my butt off. Yes I do know more, Yes I can see what others don't see and Yes I have grown immensely form it. But I'm sick of it....I'm sick of living on the fringe, sick of going out to a bar not being able to enjoy myself because I can see pass all the social construct BS, tired of having a progressively harder time to find "real" (non IP based) people to which I can honestly speak from my heart. Funny thing is that the deeper I dig the more questions arise, its never freaking ending. Always on the watch of my own consciousness to not go coo coo puff on me and end up drooling in a psych ward.

Why o Why is the path to Gnosis so painful and lonely? (I know the answer...and that also pisses me off!) Probably better off with the blue pill?

PS...no, Im not gonna blow my brains out.
 Quoting: 5ingularity


The more you intend to expand your awareness and growth... The more distant you become from others existing within the Matrix and programming.
Choosing to LIVE rather than exist is a hard and lonely road... All designed to keep us slaves in check.
Life on Earth is funny eh?
cool2
dethem

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08/05/2012 03:45 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
this post of yours made me feel better.
Although even if i could go back Id take the red pill again
any day.Im still waiting to "wake up" someplace else.
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2012 03:47 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
searching for relief as well...

square pegs do not fit in round holes....
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2012 03:47 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
You only need to knock on one door. The door to your heart. That is your soul.

You must seek to develop intelligence of the heart. That is the way.
 Quoting: Ain Soph Aur 9925617


I understand it, but what happens when after much mingling the only true unconditional love (that I more than willingly try to give) I have found is from my progenitors?
 Quoting: 5ingularity


Do not expect anything back from anybody else. Do not expect them to love you as you love them. Love without reserve.

You must love every single thing, to the last iota. Even the animals that sting, and the snake that bites.
chris999

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08/05/2012 03:48 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
I dont mean everything I say to be literal. I just like to throw around ideas, and play devil's advocate.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

-Galileo Galilei
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2012 03:51 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Maybe you are trying too hard.

I was given some good advice in my younger days: "A day in which you learn nothing is a day wasted."

Sometimes knowledge comes from simply observing, and existing in this seemingly everchanging world. Maybe its time for you to take a step back and just live.
5ingularity  (OP)

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08/05/2012 03:53 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
 Quoting: chris999


This is a source of anxiety, and as an avid GLP'er guilty of charge...we are sitting here waiting for the egg to crack. Will it ever really crack? Is something really going to happen? Im starting to believe that the changes are more subtle...no mass landing of ufos, no galactic quasi gamma ray blasting us on 12/21, no bad ass big brother to chip us...all smoke and mirrors to either drive us mad or make us look deeper in our own self.
With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
Ain Soph Aur
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08/05/2012 03:54 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
 Quoting: chris999


This is a source of anxiety, and as an avid GLP'er guilty of charge...we are sitting here waiting for the egg to crack. Will it ever really crack? Is something really going to happen? Im starting to believe that the changes are more subtle...no mass landing of ufos, no galactic quasi gamma ray blasting us on 12/21, no bad ass big brother to chip us...all smoke and mirrors to either drive us mad or make us look deeper in our own self.
 Quoting: 5ingularity

You ARE the egg.
5ingularity  (OP)

User ID: 9473142
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08/05/2012 03:56 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Maybe you are trying too hard.

I was given some good advice in my younger days: "A day in which you learn nothing is a day wasted."

Sometimes knowledge comes from simply observing, and existing in this seemingly everchanging world. Maybe its time for you to take a step back and just live.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21289905

Yes yes, going back to basics! :)

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2012 04:00 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.

 Quoting: chris999


Lol at people who think they're awake. Really, no matter how more retarded I am then you, well be in the same line at the fema camp.
5ingularity  (OP)

User ID: 9473142
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08/05/2012 04:00 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
 Quoting: chris999


This is a source of anxiety, and as an avid GLP'er guilty of charge...we are sitting here waiting for the egg to crack. Will it ever really crack? Is something really going to happen? Im starting to believe that the changes are more subtle...no mass landing of ufos, no galactic quasi gamma ray blasting us on 12/21, no bad ass big brother to chip us...all smoke and mirrors to either drive us mad or make us look deeper in our own self.
 Quoting: 5ingularity

You ARE the egg.
 Quoting: Ain Soph Aur 9925617


Prisoner of my own 5 senses...
With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9925617
United States
08/05/2012 04:02 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
 Quoting: chris999


This is a source of anxiety, and as an avid GLP'er guilty of charge...we are sitting here waiting for the egg to crack. Will it ever really crack? Is something really going to happen? Im starting to believe that the changes are more subtle...no mass landing of ufos, no galactic quasi gamma ray blasting us on 12/21, no bad ass big brother to chip us...all smoke and mirrors to either drive us mad or make us look deeper in our own self.
 Quoting: 5ingularity

You ARE the egg.
 Quoting: Ain Soph Aur 9925617


Prisoner of my own 5 senses...
 Quoting: 5ingularity

The only key is love.
chris999

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08/05/2012 04:06 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
 Quoting: chris999


This is a source of anxiety, and as an avid GLP'er guilty of charge...we are sitting here waiting for the egg to crack. Will it ever really crack? Is something really going to happen? Im starting to believe that the changes are more subtle...no mass landing of ufos, no galactic quasi gamma ray blasting us on 12/21, no bad ass big brother to chip us...all smoke and mirrors to either drive us mad or make us look deeper in our own self.
 Quoting: 5ingularity


I will tell you the truth.

Just try to use your logic and discern the truth from all of the lies.

The internet and television is being BOMBARDED with propaganda the past few months. They want you concerned about UFOs or going to Hell or the Sun is going to explode... Try to remember that you are being distracted from what is really happening down here on the real world. Right now, we humans in general need to be paying attention to what kind of mess our leaders are causing.

I will admit that the doom and gloom on cable TV has calmed down some lately. But whatever is going on, the TPTB want us afraid and confused (and prepared...).

My best instincts say that we are about to fight the biggest war in history unfortunately. Lets all hope that isnt true.
I dont mean everything I say to be literal. I just like to throw around ideas, and play devil's advocate.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

-Galileo Galilei
bannedfornoreason

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08/05/2012 04:07 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
sex?
bannedfornoreason
5ingularity  (OP)

User ID: 9473142
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08/05/2012 04:09 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
 Quoting: chris999


This is a source of anxiety, and as an avid GLP'er guilty of charge...we are sitting here waiting for the egg to crack. Will it ever really crack? Is something really going to happen? Im starting to believe that the changes are more subtle...no mass landing of ufos, no galactic quasi gamma ray blasting us on 12/21, no bad ass big brother to chip us...all smoke and mirrors to either drive us mad or make us look deeper in our own self.
 Quoting: 5ingularity


I will tell you the truth.

Just try to use your logic and discern the truth from all of the lies.

The internet and television is being BOMBARDED with propaganda the past few months. They want you concerned about UFOs or going to Hell or the Sun is going to explode... Try to remember that you are being distracted from what is really happening down here on the real world. Right now, we humans in general need to be paying attention to what kind of mess our leaders are causing.

I will admit that the doom and gloom on cable TV has calmed down some lately. But whatever is going on, the TPTB want us afraid and confused (and prepared...).

My best instincts say that we are about to fight the biggest war in history unfortunately. Lets all hope that isnt true.
 Quoting: chris999


The saddest part of it is that THEY feel its necessary for our own development...
With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
aquamah

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08/05/2012 04:10 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
one day you will have to let it go
5ingularity  (OP)

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08/05/2012 04:11 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
sex?
 Quoting: bannedfornoreason


Haha cant deny that during and a few minutes after, everything is freaking great with the world! But unless its with someone you truly love, I put in in the same bin as booze, gambling and drugs. Thats why I dont have fun at bars ;)
With front row tickets to experience the show of lifetimes, I fear no more.
-_0
Being * gnieB

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08/05/2012 04:11 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
The first will be last, the last will be first (!)
theundead

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08/05/2012 04:13 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
I completely sympathize and empathize with you.
You can grow ideas, in the garden of your MIND.
Ain Soph Aur
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08/05/2012 04:14 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
one day you will have to let it go
 Quoting: aquamah


There is only one thing you can keep. It is love.

It is eternal.
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2012 04:16 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
My quest in the unknown/spiritual/paranormal world began over 10 years ago. Back then I really committed myself to finding out what was going on out there. I knocked on many many doors, looked into many many things and read my butt off. Yes I do know more, Yes I can see what others don't see and Yes I have grown immensely form it. But I'm sick of it....I'm sick of living on the fringe, sick of going out to a bar not being able to enjoy myself because I can see pass all the social construct BS, tired of having a progressively harder time to find "real" (non IP based) people to which I can honestly speak from my heart. Funny thing is that the deeper I dig the more questions arise, its never freaking ending. Always on the watch of my own consciousness to not go coo coo puff on me and end up drooling in a psych ward.

Why o Why is the path to Gnosis so painful and lonely? (I know the answer...and that also pisses me off!) Probably better off with the blue pill?

PS...no, Im not gonna blow my brains out.
 Quoting: 5ingularity


Yeah...it was shithole of a world BEFORE we knew just how utterly fucking DOOMED we really are...

Now that we KNOW how utterly fucking DOOMED we are..its so much worse.

One cannot UNtake the red pill unfortunatley.
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2012 04:17 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.
 Quoting: chris999


This is a source of anxiety, and as an avid GLP'er guilty of charge...we are sitting here waiting for the egg to crack. Will it ever really crack? Is something really going to happen? Im starting to believe that the changes are more subtle...no mass landing of ufos, no galactic quasi gamma ray blasting us on 12/21, no bad ass big brother to chip us...all smoke and mirrors to either drive us mad or make us look deeper in our own self.
 Quoting: 5ingularity


I will tell you the truth.

Just try to use your logic and discern the truth from all of the lies.

The internet and television is being BOMBARDED with propaganda the past few months. They want you concerned about UFOs or going to Hell or the Sun is going to explode... Try to remember that you are being distracted from what is really happening down here on the real world. Right now, we humans in general need to be paying attention to what kind of mess our leaders are causing.

I will admit that the doom and gloom on cable TV has calmed down some lately. But whatever is going on, the TPTB want us afraid and confused (and prepared...).

My best instincts say that we are about to fight the biggest war in history unfortunately. Lets all hope that isnt true.
 Quoting: chris999


While it is good that you are paying attention, understand where the information you are seeing is coming from.

If the reason appears to be confusion: it is because the source itself is confused.

Know yourself, and there you will find the truth and live.
chris999

User ID: 19470458
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08/05/2012 04:18 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
Yea... the blue pill would be a lot nicer.

The people who are not 'awake'... I wonder if it is better to be like them. To be completely ignorant as to what is about to happen...


I have been trying hard to enjoy myslef and enjoy the things that we are currently taking for granted... Cherish every moment left of the good old days before they are gone.

 Quoting: chris999


Lol at people who think they're awake. Really, no matter how more retarded I am then you, well be in the same line at the fema camp.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21289845


Maybe... but at the end of the day, the truth is that they will have to disarm us first.

Smart people know now that throughout history, the people that have been burned in the ovens were disarmed first.

Gun rights are more important than almost any issue right now. They are what makes the citizens ultimately free.

I want to sit out this ride and hope that nothing earth-shattering is in our near future, but WTSHTF free men have the option of dying on their feet instead of their knees.
I dont mean everything I say to be literal. I just like to throw around ideas, and play devil's advocate.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

-Galileo Galilei
reversefiction

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08/05/2012 04:22 AM
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Re: Im really getting tired of it all....
My quest in the unknown/spiritual/paranormal world began over 10 years ago. Back then I really committed myself to finding out what was going on out there. I knocked on many many doors, looked into many many things and read my butt off. Yes I do know more, Yes I can see what others don't see and Yes I have grown immensely form it. But I'm sick of it....I'm sick of living on the fringe, sick of going out to a bar not being able to enjoy myself because I can see pass all the social construct BS, tired of having a progressively harder time to find "real" (non IP based) people to which I can honestly speak from my heart. Funny thing is that the deeper I dig the more questions arise, its never freaking ending. Always on the watch of my own consciousness to not go coo coo puff on me and end up drooling in a psych ward.

Why o Why is the path to Gnosis so painful and lonely? (I know the answer...and that also pisses me off!) Probably better off with the blue pill?

PS...no, Im not gonna blow my brains out.
 Quoting: 5ingularity


Dude, I know how you feel. It sucks doing all the research, and wading through all the crap to find a nugget of gold. Get excited about it, and try to tell someone about, and they say "yeah so what." Maybe, I'm projecting my experience with this stuff here, but I can't imagine someone else not in my position not having that problem. Life is about the experience though man. I realized a little more than a year ago, it's not about what you know. But its what you do with what you know.
Ask yourself who you trying to serve. Yourself? Or are you trying to do this to help others. If it's the latter man, give the help to others. Show them that you have gnosis, don't tell them. Last thing anyone wants is some pretentious person going around telling others how smart they are. If you show them however, you may find the path gets a little easier. And, people suck a little less.
// My definition of insanity.

bool try() { return false; }

void insanity() {

bool success = false;
while(!success) {
if(try()) {
break;
}
}
}





GLP