I need spiritual help!

*SWIM: some one who i met.*

I have a circumstance that appears to be repeating itself and i am unable to work out what it is i am supposed to do.
I presume it is repeating itself because i failed to learn my lesson last time, but i am have trouble working out the solution.

Im hesitant to ask for advice on here, due to the trolling i'm about to recieve, but thought id give it ago in the chance a genuine person with sound advice will respond.

So here it is.

I had a previous relationship that lasted about 3 years. I was young and immature and probably wasn't the best partner around.
In the last year, SWIM started to develop a close friendship with a good friend, after a while they started spending the night at each others house and alot of time together.

I thought nothing of it as i trusted them both and they assured me nothing was going on.

Then i went through SWIMS phone and found msg's 'I love you so much" etc. so i broke it off.


years later i meet a new partner. We have been together for almost 3 years as well. We have had many differences and SWIM has had a horrible upbringing. I have given SWIM more than any person has to offer, i have given her all the things SWIM has never received before.

So the past few months SWIM has met some new friends and has spending alot of time texting and going out with one particular person. Eventually leading to SWIM spending the night their on a regular basis.

I am once again assured that nothing is going on. As much as i believe SWIM, i very uncomfortable with this situation. They seem very close, and more time is spent talking to this person than me now (i believe).

I am told that i'm just insecure and to stop being jealous. Well yes i may be a little insecure, but for good reasons. I am aware of this and i think SWIM is using it as an excuse for the their actions.

SWIM doesn't seem to respect my feelings about this situation and gets extremely agitated every time its brought up. Yet SWIM assures me how much love they have for me, and still does some sweet things.

I do not think all these circumstances are fair on my behalf, i am a very fair person and often compromise at my own expense to make others happy. But now i am tired and worn out.

It appears to be almost the exact same situation as last time. This feels like the last problem i have to progress spiritually so i am determined to do so.

The only thing is, i dont know whether:

- To grow the courage to break it off.
- To rid of my insecurities and let it go.

I told SWIM last night that this is not acceptable and you better decide whats important to you a you are gonna have a big decision to make.

SWIMS response: "I dont know what to do. Im sorry about last night, I am! i cant figure out why im still letting everything get in the of us, i guess im just still scared."

As i said before, SWIM has had some horrific things happen to them, And i give SWIM more chances than i would to another person. But now i am stuck. If SWIM cant learn her lesson what is mine....?

Any genuine help would be greatly appreciated, thanks for reading.