Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior.

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Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior.
BlondeDramaQueen Offer Upgrade User ID: 23843226 Germany 09/23/2012 01:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. Passive Aggressive people. We deal with them every single day, whether it's a co-worker, a friend, a spouse or even people here on GLP. I don't mesh well with passive aggressive people. I tell it like it is, so passive aggressive people really make me mad. I read this and it helped me learn how to deal with a passive aggressive co-worker. I was almost at the point of lashing out on her and losing my job because of it but I read this and it's helped me deal with her. Enjoy. -DQ In their own minds at least, the passive-aggressive person believes they are nice people; easy to please, eager to help, and always willing to take on more than their fair share of the workload. They are professional martyrs. And they hunger for approval. All this would lead you to think that these folk would be the easiest of people to get on with, so much so that they are the human equivalent of doormats. Nothing could be further from the truth. [link to mental-health.families.com] We live in a world that is becoming increasingly smaller all of the time. In order to successfully coexist with our fellow humans, we must strive to understand them and the various personality types they posses. One such personality is called passive aggressive, or PA. The main characteristic of a passive aggressive person is that they retaliate by “attacking” indirectly. The psycology is that a passive aggressive person does not want to deal with the repercussions of their anger. Dealing with passive aggressive people requires patience and understanding of this type of personality. 1. PA Traits No two people are alike. And each PA person relies on their strengths when manipulating others. For example, If they are instinctively good at understanding emotion, they will focus on creating an emotional roller coaster to achieve their control. PA personalities are common at workplace and in family lives. They use non-confrontational techniques to control others. Here are some of the ways they may manipulate: Withholding information from others. Purposely hiding objects such as keys, documents, manuals, etc… Sabotaging schedules and work deadlines. Making subtle assaults. 2. Determine if Someone is PA PA people often feel that others, or life itself has caused them harm. This may be a result of their lack of assertiveness, and the non confrontational approach. They use tactics that confuse their partners or co-workers by keeping them off balance and less productive. The simplest way to determine if someone is passive aggressive, is to ask them a direct question such as: “Are you upset with me?” If they reply with something like, “you should now” or “why are you so paranoid”, chances are they are passive aggressive and may be trying to manipulate you. Otherwise, they will respond with a “yes I am upset” or alike.If the answer is a “no”, you should follow up by telling them how you would like to be treated. If they respond sarcastically or with worsening behaviour toward you, this confirms that they indeed have passive aggressive tendencies. 3. Strategy In Dealing With PA Business or personal relationships with PA can be improved. The key for them is to learn to become more self aware and assertive. I suggest that you practice compassion and non attachment with them. As their partner, you can begin by reducing their anxieties and by being gently firm. Also be sure to keep the lines of communication open at all times. Show PA that you’re not accusing them and that they are safe. Rely on mutual understanding and goodwill. When dealing with passive aggressive behavior, encourage PA to learn to understand their feelings and become more comfortable with expressing themselves despite their insecurities. Continue to offer them your support. [link to simplerlifetoday.com] Last Edited by BlondeDramaQueen on 09/23/2012 01:35 PM Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

Anonymous Coward User ID: 1554617 United States 09/23/2012 01:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. God is the ultimate passive aggressive force. You could stand to be a little more direct yourself. Just nut-up and lobby your complaint directly to the source... See how that goes. Seriously, I hear God loves criticism. Go ahead and grab that audience!
Anonymous Coward User ID: 17310383 United States 09/23/2012 01:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. Oh man. I spent some time down south and never encountered so many passive aggressive people in my life. They'll be friendly as can be, all smiles, and as soon as your back is turned they stab you. They're friendly even when they hate you. At least where I am now people don't hide their true feelings, you know exactly where you stand. I can deal with aggressive people, but passive aggressive really piss me off. I guess that's the whole point. But I certainly don't respect it, it's cowardly, especially coming from a guy.
BlondeDramaQueen (OP) User ID: 23843226 Germany 09/23/2012 02:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. Oh man. I spent some time down south and never encountered so many passive aggressive people in my life. They'll be friendly as can be, all smiles, and as soon as your back is turned they stab you. They're friendly even when they hate you. At least where I am now people don't hide their true feelings, you know exactly where you stand. I can deal with aggressive people, but passive aggressive really piss me off. I guess that's the whole point. But I certainly don't respect it, it's cowardly, especially coming from a guy. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17310383 I agree. Usually it's women who are passive aggressive. I'm hoping I can learn to deal with them better so that I can be a happier camper. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
Adamic Seed nli User ID: 24118484 Canada 09/23/2012 02:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. My Experience with PA's They are looking for love and attention, never be disagreeable with them they will make your life a living hell. They are unable to self-assess, and any straightforward direction of attention to their antisocial behavior ie "you are being belligerent" will make them think you are attacking them. They will retaliate. You become the scoundrel and target. When upset, they cannot stop, like a freight train. Remove yourself, don't speak, keep calm, don't be triggered. They will try yo get a negative reaction so they can attempt resolve the past wrongs perpetrated on them by using you as a character actor. They will put you in impossible situations. Learn to ignore them. Develop strategies to deal with their behavior. Sometimes, when they have placed you in an impossible situation, you have to shout/scream in public at them. Do this strategically, and with forethought, without emotion. This reflects their behavior, They will attempt to take it further, do not be triggered. Love and light don't cut it here.
BlondeDramaQueen (OP) User ID: 23843226 Germany 09/23/2012 04:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
IronCross User ID: 24285807 United States 09/23/2012 04:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. It's all about being super aggressive 'Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views" - William F Buckley Jr

HeavenlyAlchemy User ID: 23961878 United States 09/23/2012 05:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. My Experience with PA's They are looking for love and attention, never be disagreeable with them they will make your life a living hell. They are unable to self-assess, and any straightforward direction of attention to their antisocial behavior ie "you are being belligerent" will make them think you are attacking them. They will retaliate. You become the scoundrel and target. When upset, they cannot stop, like a freight train. Remove yourself, don't speak, keep calm, don't be triggered. They will try yo get a negative reaction so they can attempt resolve the past wrongs perpetrated on them by using you as a character actor. They will put you in impossible situations. Learn to ignore them. Develop strategies to deal with their behavior. Sometimes, when they have placed you in an impossible situation, you have to shout/scream in public at them. Do this strategically, and with forethought, without emotion. This reflects their behavior, They will attempt to take it further, do not be triggered. Love and light don't cut it here. Quoting: Adamic Seed nli 24118484 This exactly. My mom is PA and these are the only tactics that work. And if you are triggered pretend that you aren't or laugh like it is the funniest joke in the world. Once they know they can't get to you that way they stop for a while, and some stop completely because they are trying to get an emotional charge and response from you.
Anonymous Coward User ID: 17785278 United States 10/22/2012 11:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. sometimes the goal of the PA is to discredit or change the emotions of everyone about a target.
Anonymous Coward User ID: 57503038 United Kingdom 03/24/2022 08:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. Great advice everyone. Thanks. In their minds they all think it's OKAY to act this way and see nothing wrong with it. Terrible disorder. Terrible people.

Anonymous Coward User ID: 57503038 United Kingdom 03/24/2022 08:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: Stratagies to deal with passive aggressive behavior. Oh man. I spent some time down south and never encountered so many passive aggressive people in my life. They'll be friendly as can be, all smiles, and as soon as your back is turned they stab you. They're friendly even when they hate you. At least where I am now people don't hide their true feelings, you know exactly where you stand. I can deal with aggressive people, but passive aggressive really piss me off. I guess that's the whole point. But I certainly don't respect it, it's cowardly, especially coming from a guy. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17310383 This 1000x's!!! Lol @ them!
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