Why is love of self so difficult?

Love of self is difficult because most people aren't happy to simply be who they are, if they even know who they are in the first place.

But people also practice self-loathing vicariously when they project the things about themselves they can't face into the world around them.

I think we can learn more about loving ourselves if we focus on loving others first.

Neither more nor less than your self. Equality is the only way you can get rid of egotism, of yours or others.

Thank you, !saac. I always find your comments either really amusing or very profound. This falls into the later

labels and associations tell us what we are, but not who we are. A lot of my life was spent trying to unlearn what I didn't like me. I'm pretty much at a good place now. But it came with basically sacrificing all my relationships with everyone in my life and starting over. It's a lot better now. And I also know I love myself enough to not worry about what the rest of the world thinks. It's the most free I have felt in a long time.

But to get to that love of self point can be a long journey depending on what you believe to be true.

Aww, thanks.

I wanted to add, if we can forgive others, we can forgive ourselves, but it's much, much easier doing it through works to others.

For me, forgiving other people does several things, it allows me to sever any attachment to a resentment, which most of us hold on to for a long time, sometimes our entire lives, but it also puts things in perspective.

We are all hypocrites in one regard or another.

If you are saying what I think you're saying.. That self loathing is very wrapped up in the ego. I have never thought of it that way, but I agree completely.

What brought you to that point? I think you really summed it up so well. Self acceptance, loss of ego. It is a sacrifice of self.

Thanks Ace, for giving some perspective.

for me personally, I think the problem is that I always feel like I could be BETTER...

Even though my life is very stable, good job, money to spare, good health... there is always room for improvement. I tell myself I could have better discipline, exercise more, do more creative work, get out and socialize more, etc etc.. More more more, desire desire desire!

I suspect this is a universal feeling for people at all levels of "success" in our society. It is very difficult to simply accept oneself as one is.. but ultimately, that is what we must strive to do! Hopefully I'll get the hang of it eventually...

I would agree.

The more evenhanded comparison wouldn't be with loving others but between loving yourself and taking the risk of letting others love you, as each of these requires an open heart whereas loving others does not.

Because you are sometimes your own worst critic. Take it easy on yourself - everyone makes mistakes! :)

I think your comment just inspired one of Oprahs Aha moments. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Beautifully stated.

yep
we are all hypocrites , all the time
we're a funny lovable bunch

i would say there are stages
to love yourself (unconditionally) you need forgive yourself
you can't fully forgive yourself until you accept yourself
you can't fully accept yourself until understand yourself
and understanding yourself takes conscious witnessing of yourself
regularly
and that is (inner) hard work in this age of distractions
and takes a long time

imo , once you understand , accept and forgive and begin to love yourself , it is something which naturally flows to others
in the perfect world which we aspire to but often fall short

I believe there is far more to it than meets the eye.
Power flows according to Natural Laws.
Love of self....love of others
One cannot choose the relationships they are born into.
So those who wish to control, focus on that Achilles heal to
exploit.
ie prisons are populated by mostly fatherless men.

I am in no way insinuating that those in prison are not responsible for their actions,
I just believe that the challenges that they are born into are sometimes exploited.
It would just be a different world if we were more tuned in to all "Laws" that are being broken.

Because nobody else knows you like you know yourself. Whatever bad things you may have done in the past stays with you like baggage even if you have changed.

It's still ego involved. But it's reproductive. I see thoughts and energy as reproduction. We manipulate and are manipulated all the time, but by what? Once you start to understand that nothing is what it seems to be you wake up. But really just say screw it. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom with no hope to get there. I did. Others didn't . Perspective is key...

Its kinda hard to love yourself nowadays when you have television and everyone else around you defining what they think that you should be in order to be loved and accepted.

Thank you for your insightful comment.
You bring up a great point. Natural laws and cosmic laws. Are these the laws you refer to?

Yes.

Basically I had to lose once. I was to such a low that I did not see a future. And I wasn't motivated to see one. But when things happen to you in your life that you can't explain, you try to. I looked around for answers, I didn't get them. Once you question reality, things become loose fitting. You start to see the common threads. I started to see the world around me as me but in a different form. I guess you'd call that empathy. But you still have your own assumptions and things, but it's hard to not be judgmental. But what you base your judgements on is the key. It has to be honest, and it has to be fair. It is a hard thing to balance. I try, but it's easier when you don't force things.

I sincerely thank you for sharing. I resonate with that low you write of. Ive come to the realization that I sacrificed my creation in pursuit of the mystery. For me, knowing the truth wasn't just a mere hobby, it was my obsession. To come away from everything I've learned, with experiences but no real truth..it's a bit devastating, soul crushing, actually.
I have a kid and I was always too busy chasing the mystery, trying to figure out how I fit in the universal equation. If my future is the world painted through my childs eyes, what is the picture I helped paint?

You can lie to your family, your friends, to complete strangers; but when you look in the mirror you can't lie to the person looking back at you. They know your every secret. They know you're sad even though you tell everyone you're happy.

As much as they know the worst of you, they also know the best of you.

If you know how beautiful you are, that you are the dreamer, meaning everything, that you are not your body but pure consciousness, that everything is your 'self', that in your natural state of love you are highly evolved and pure intelligence, there is nothing you cannot do.


Thee fact there are so many things to love leads me to believe love is infinite.

Well said indeed.

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