I don't always look forward to them, don't think OP is depressed, just probably, like many I know, frustrated with the lack of real meaning.

For those without food, homes, TG/Xmas could be a real blessing. For those with family that feels entitled to "x" and "x" and the holidays, it's not too enjoyable, for me it's infuriating that certain family members just can't be grateful for anything without a high price tag.

Too many hidden expectations, too much stress, too much consumerism, too much trying to keep up w/the Joneses, I'm older, I've seen the change over a number of years.

When we were kids, we were lucky to get 3 presents, and those at best, were very inexpensive, but we were still happy/grateful to have received.

My grandmother's xmas present one year was a "piece" of fruit smuggled out of a restaurant, that was during the Great Depression.

Can you imagine (ha!) giving your kids/grand kids a piece of fruit for xmas? The look on their face? (Honestly, I've thought about it just to drive a message home).

Certain family members in my hood can't be bothered year-round to as much as call, extend an invite, although we have called and extended invites and bought meals, cooked meals, this/that --- with the exception of "transactional purposes" but come holidays (specifically the gift-giving ones) they show up like cockroaches coming out of their hidey-holes.

And celebrating the birth of Jesus? I don't think they even really are believers to tell yeah the truth, even in concept, i.e., how about just follow the 10 commandments and we'll call it even-steven? Nope can't even do that---but they show up for the gifts.

No, I don't care for the holidays, but we are also a "blended" family so that accounts for some of it.