BREAKING: General David Petraeus Admits To Having An Affair With Oprah Winfrey

WASHINGTON, D.C.- Ex-CIA Director General David Petraeus went to Capital Hill today to meet with lawmakers and spill his guts about an affair he had with television mogul and billionaire Oprah Winfrey. The four star general sat in front of a microphone and spoke candidly to members of Congress.

“I apologize to the nation and its citizens for my actions,” said Petraeus somberly. “My affair with Oprah Winfrey was hot and steamy, yes, but in no way did I ever compromise classified top secret data to her at any time. National security was never compromised while Oprah and myself were banging each other senseless.”

The ex-CIA director was grilled by senators about the incident, some even asking for specific details.

“So what you’re saying is you and Ms. Winfrey had relations, am I getting this right?” asked Senator John McCain of Arizona. “Please tell this chamber how Ms. Winfrey likes it? Does she like it rough? The reason I ask is because the American public has a right to know all the details of what the CIA Director was doing and with whom
[link to inothernewz.com]