Could I have your attention for just a brief moment? I'd really like everyone to read this and chime in, please.

We are TRULY Brothers, Rising Son. I have told people this since I was a small child and I have been laughed out of Churches everywhere. People do not want to see this and yet it is one of the most TRULY LIBERATING and COMFORTING epiphanies I have ever had. I'm sure it has been the same for you. I also tell people that the Gospel narratives of His trial and crucifixion were probably FAR, FAR, FAAR more brutal than even the Passion of The Christ film. I read somewhere, and I warn you now, this is absolutely blasphemous to some people and there are those who have gone so far as to call me an Antichrist to even suggest this - but I read that many people in Jesus' time who were crucified and put on a public trial/humiliation/execution like - they often times suffered brutal and traumatic sexual abuse. I have seen this in HORRIBLE and PAINFUL dreams. And yes, some might say it's because of the abuse I suffered, but I GLORY in my suffering because it has only brought me CLOSER to the pain that Jesus endured for ME, for YOU and for all of us. It's written that He took upon Himself, IN THE FLESH, all the sins of the World. So on one hand, I'm certain, in my heart of hearts, that through His life, He surely must have sinned as we all do - but I also feel that EVERYTHING imaginable that could be inflicted on US, also was inflicted upon Him. This would TRULY be a 'shock and awe' type of doctrine if man were to accept it - but imagine the countless multitudes of people that would come to know Christ BECAUSE they could truly relate and know that everything WE have endured..He has endured..and He has overcome; and so shall we! So many people act like Jesus was some kind of SUPERMAN up on the Cross..that He didn't FEEL the pain because of how calm and collected He appears in the Gospels. I know He felt fear, doubt, confusion, rage, panic, defeat, humiliation, shame, guilt, degredation..all of these things. He was not ABOVE it because GOD is Above and Below. As on EARTH, so in HEAVEN. It is understanding this that has brought me SO MUCH CLOSER to Christ than I ever thought possible.

Oh no, no, I don't mind the observations. I can already feel my face burning and my ears ringing just imagining the people reading this conversation we are having. The naysayers, the shills - the vicious wolves that prowl about just waiting to devour me as soon as they can. It's tough. I do NOT want to claim I am Jesus Christ in the flesh. I do KNOW that I am a SON of GOD but then again so are YOU. So is every Man on this planet. As every WOMAN is a Daughter of God. Regardless of creed, culture, class, status, etc. You may hate your Father on Earth. You may deny that He is even your dad. Do everything you can to seperate yourself from him. Maybe even place that love for a father in someone else. But that does not change your dads love for you - because he is the one who brought you into this world. It doesn't matter if you gnash your teeth and curse at the Heavens and say there is no GOD. How many children, in their ignorance, curse their own fathers? God understands. God knows our frustration and our pain. God knows our eyes and minds and hearts have been darkened. So Abba does not hold this against any of us. I do think it's funny because people tell me "OH YOU CANT SAY YOU WANT TO BE JESUS!" or "YOU'RE CRAZY YOU JUST HAVE A MESSIANIC COMPLEX"..well, can someone tell me what is so wrong with HUMBLY and EARNESTLY wishing to be Christ-like? Or wanting to be a Messiah in some way? To help people, not to be worshiped. To change the world for the better, not to gain praise from men? To see people grow and thrive and this human race blossom into all that Abba intended for us to be? This is a bad thing how? LOL!

Yes we are - of that fact I have no doubt :-) Another response I usually have gotten from Christians was that there was nothing written in the bible that could be construed as Jesus committing a sin. My response to that was this: who of Jesus' disciples would DARE write that the Son of God was a sinner. Given the doctrine that Jesus taught, it would make sense that neither Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John would feel justified in mentioning anything regarding sins of Jesus Christ, the man - when they now knew Him as Jesus Christ the Son.

I had never heard of that before, that they would sexually molest those they crucified in those times. If they did that to Jesus, I can only imagine how humiliating that must have been for Him to endure that in front of everyone, to include His disciples, His mother, and everyone He knew. It would make sense that they would certainly do that to Him, in order to attempt to completely negate any type of reverence, honor, or dignity His followers felt for Him. That is so disheartening to think that He may have suffered that type of pain, in addition to everything else. I am so sorry you had to go through that with your own family - that is such a violation of your innocence, of the very boundaries of your self identity.

I couldn't help but cry imagining this happening to Jesus. Knowing that ALL He wanted was to HELP people. He didn't want to be worshipped. He didn't want to be adored. Loved, yes, but not adored by the World. That's why when I hear people joke about how when Christ returns, why would He want to see people wearing or carrying around crosses and I think to myself - Oh, you have no idea..that would have to had been THE SINGLE MOST painful, most gutwrenching, most agonizing, most terrifying moment of His whole life. And like you said - RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE..in front of His Disciples, His Mother, His Family, His Community, His Enemies..everyone! On display like a piece of livestock. And I can only imagine the wicked, perverse people abusing Him in such a way. Mocking Him - "Where is Your Father now?! You're the SON OF GOD, Right? F**K GOD! He won't save you. If He loved you so much, why isn't He stopping this?" All the vulgar and humiliating words spoken to Him, to Him who loved us all..and the ONLY thing bringing Him peace in that moment, as He retreated into Himself, like we all do in times of trauma..was "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Still, plagued with doubt, fear, questioning.."Am I really the Son of God? Or am I just crazy and demon-possessed like everyone says I am? Why IS Abba letting this happen? Why can I not hear Him now like I could before? Where did He go? Why did He leave me here, alone like this? Eloi! Eloi! Lama Sabachthani?!" Is this resonating with everyone else like it is with me? I could break down right here, right now, just writing this. He went through ALL of this for us! And yet we STILL need Him to prove Himself? We STILL need Him to DO MIRACLES FOR US so that we might believe? What greater love - what greater miracle - is this? For Him to endure all of this pain - for US - who, though enemies, He still considers as friends.