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Nate-Silver-offers-up-a-statistical-analysis-of-your-failing-​relationship

 
Anonymous Coward
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02/27/2013 03:58 AM
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Nate-Silver-offers-up-a-statistical-analysis-of-your-failing-​relationship
Between the hours of 6 and 7 p.m. tonight, there was a 77.1 percent increase in annoyance and a 54 percent rise in revulsion based on the way you slurped your capellini, drank 65 percent too much wine and prattled on about your ex-girlfriend Sarah for some reason, even though she has a new boyfriend with a sailboat, and you’ve supposedly moved on, too.

The logic here is that you are 44 percent over Sarah after 3 years, but there is only a 3.6 percent chance of her taking you back, which is reduced by nearly half of a percentage point every time she steps foot on that boat.

In a very local poll released just this week, 50 percent of those in your current relationship said it bothers them when you leave your shoes in the middle of the carpet and added that, if you could clean a dirty dish or two—putting in a minimal effort of just 5 minutes—stress would be reduced by 39 percent, along with a telling 54 percent decrease in shouting matches and escalating threats to leave forever.

You’ve lost nearly 100 hairs on your head every day since March, 2011, when the two of you met, which is almost 36,500 hairs in the last year and nearly 73,000 hairs in the last two years. This is, ultimately, why you’ll be 84 percent bald by the time you’re 45.


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[link to www.mcsweeneys.net]
Anonymous Coward
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02/27/2013 04:02 AM
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Re: Nate-Silver-offers-up-a-statistical-analysis-of-your-failing-​relationship
clappa
Anonymous Coward
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02/27/2013 04:11 AM
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Re: Nate-Silver-offers-up-a-statistical-analysis-of-your-failing-​relationship
yup
Anonymous Coward
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02/27/2013 07:26 PM
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Re: Nate-Silver-offers-up-a-statistical-analysis-of-your-failing-​relationship
hiding
Anonymous Coward
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02/28/2013 12:49 AM
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Re: Nate-Silver-offers-up-a-statistical-analysis-of-your-failing-​relationship
crisco





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