what are the dirtiest things i can say my bf on his birthday...using a heilum ballon? please help me out i'm old.

please help this glp cougar.
need some funny sexy things to say.
AAAAAnnd i got heium ballons to get rid of my normally raspy voice.
come on help a girl out.
he'll be out of the jacuzz in like 20 min. what should i say?

i want anal now

where are you boys?
what would you want your hot cougar to say to you?

Did you know maggots are mostly protein ?
...Just another good reason to go down on me !!

I want to ___ your brains out

insert sexual act of choice into blank

awesome. advise from drac....
give me something outragous that will freak out his young lil mind.
ur creative...help me.

hes a computer nerd can u incorperate something tech?

OP is a homosexual pervert getting off on all the things you guys are typing. My Fukashima created spidey senses are strong!

let me rephrase...
my young guy is not impressed by "fuck me now in this oraface."

how in a computer dork way......

can i say sexy things?

It would be super hot if you said "im not a dude." but alas...

no. im a hot 40's chick that cant comminicate w my hot young computer dork.
i'm already dressed like princess laya, but i dont know the lingo.

and i'm not a fat princess laya eirthr.

pics or gtfo

not a dude! in fact u guys were affended by my old avitar cuz i showd too much boob.

no time for nonscene, hes out getting beer and champ.
just need some steamy tech shit i can impreess and get undreessed. seriously heeeeeelp.

Why the fuck do you have a helium balloon?

k hes on his way back now.

arggggggg!

im a coog, i saw star wars as a kid.
he saw star wars in a college class.

what kind of techy nerd shit can i say so he thinks i'm super cool?
i have helium, so no matter what it is it will sound cute.

come on guyes, help a glper out.......

its a GIANT helium balloon for his b day.
its fun and shiney.

i'm also a japenese pop singer, helium is part of my style.

Helium? So obviously a guy, OP.

A cougar would be asking what song should be played on her KAZOO in order to woe her...um, birthday boy.

The song, btw, would be Sex and Candy.

Helium won't make your voice sound cute, asshat.

Is this supposed to be an explanation?

Oh, it's GIANT.

?

no, they had an awesome fish balloon. he really wanted thoese remote controled fishes to fly aroung concerts, but they are illegal now, so i just got the fake one.

i have no kazoo, lost it in a poker game at burnnig man.

and he's sick of my naked chello playing.

btw sex and candy, come on. lame.


just need a few awesome phraes that a comp nerd would find sexy. even if its seriosly nerdy, i dont need to understand it, maybe about a ftp or a mega bite,
you know things that are sexy to nerds, but not to us normie sluts.

it was a giant floating fish, but thats not the point.

i need sexy tech dork things to say to him (with the silly helium)

Why are you using helium again?

Lick my cache clean.

All I remember are floppy discs. What's a hard drive?

Damn Chewwy, thanks for shaving for me.

So, the Sarlac will eat you alive for a thousand years? What you got?