I have firsthand proof that aspartame is fine. And my evaluation of the facts are just as valid as some fancypants funded university study, because the nature of science has changed thanks to the wisdom and paternal guidance of George W. Bush. For instance, I have between 5-6 diet sodas a day, and I've been doing this for years, and I'm still the best one at Monopoly down at the Community Center. So it hasn't taken the edge off of my game yet.