Godlike Productions - Discussion Forum
Users Online Now: 2,488 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 534,436
Pageviews Today: 1,653,379Threads Today: 1,137Posts Today: 21,263
09:37 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

My

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39558789
Philippines
05/16/2013 01:24 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
It's incorrigible.

Also, it's sleuth.

As for the daughter, sell her to a middle eastern man.

On the sly, of course.
Me
User ID: 38369971
United States
05/16/2013 01:26 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Instead of bringin food over try to cook something together, I used to have kids help make quesadillas, Pizza or tacos.
Some kids like spaghetti and don't know it.
Kids that age like Mcdonalds, it don't last forever, the boy I took care of would only eat Oscar Meyer Bologna and some cereal drank lots of milk from 6 till 11 years and Mashed Potatoes at thanksgiving with a bologna sandwich.
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:31 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hi OP,

Here's a suggestion you might want to try that motivates many children and is easy to adapt to different circumstances:

Colorful wooden beads with a hole through the middle to put on a key ring. You can buy them at craft stores.

Make sure she understands the rules.

You put a certain number of beads on a big key ring....maybe 3 for going to the store.

You tell her each bead is worth (whatever you decide) maybe 3 chances.

If you decide 3 chances, the first time she misbehaves, you tell her no but don't mention the beads.

She does it again, you say I already told you no, this is your first warning. You have two left before you lose a bead.

She does it again, you tell her, this is your second warning. You only have one more before you lose a bead.

On the 3rd warning, you tell her she used all her warnings, next time you'll be taking a bead. If she does it again, tell her she used up her chances now you get a bead and remind her she now only has two on the ring.

Any crying, tantrums, automatically takes all the beads. No more chances.

She gets to carry them when you go out. She knows ahead of time that if she can have one bead remaining by the time you leave the store, she is rewarded with.....Stickers, bubble gum, a fast ride on the cart on the way out, one of those junk rings in the machines by the door, whatever.

Make sure to tell her she made you proud by working so hard to keep a bead. When she starts keeping more beads, or losing none, keep letting her know how proud you are of her hard work.

If it's effective, you could have her put a mark or sticker on a chart when you get home and when they add 6 days, she earns a Happy Meal...or whatever.

It should be a "game" that she's working for a goal. It can be easily modified by using different amounts of beads, different amounts of chances, etc. but if you start high, then decrease them, let her know it's because she's such a big girl and getting so well behaved that you don't need so many.

You might even use 3 beads when you go away, but 5 or 6 at home.

Just make sure she understands the rules even if you have to have a practice at home to make sure she understands.

It's amazing how much kids want to hang on to those beads.

Good luck. She's lucky to have you care! Hope you'll let us know how it turns out.
 Quoting: Nine's


I love it I'm sure she will lose all the beads the first few times .i have tried something similar.i do care about her we get along great and I was upset by tonight's behavior.i have raised children without ever laying a hand on them this is way different and that's why I'm looking for positive things to do.beads are a go.i will keep this thread updated .and once again I'm not spanking her and called the mom tonight telling these things I want to try.instead.i have asked my parents and lots of friends it's about fifty fifty for the spanking thing and I think we owe it her to not spank.if all else fails then its our fault.
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:32 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
It's incorrigible.

Also, it's sleuth.

As for the daughter, sell her to a middle eastern man.

On the sly, of course.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39558789


Thanks for the spelling lesson I can't believe I spelled sleuth wrong ha ha and say hi to jake blues for me.
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:34 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Instead of bringin food over try to cook something together, I used to have kids help make quesadillas, Pizza or tacos.
Some kids like spaghetti and don't know it.
Kids that age like Mcdonalds, it don't last forever, the boy I took care of would only eat Oscar Meyer Bologna and some cereal drank lots of milk from 6 till 11 years and Mashed Potatoes at thanksgiving with a bologna sandwich.
 Quoting: Me 38369971


That's a great idea if she helps make it she will surely want to taste it at least genius.clappa
Nine's

User ID: 38809969
United States
05/16/2013 01:36 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hi OP,

Here's a suggestion you might want to try that motivates many children and is easy to adapt to different circumstances:

Colorful wooden beads with a hole through the middle to put on a key ring. You can buy them at craft stores.

Make sure she understands the rules.

You put a certain number of beads on a big key ring....maybe 3 for going to the store.

You tell her each bead is worth (whatever you decide) maybe 3 chances.

If you decide 3 chances, the first time she misbehaves, you tell her no but don't mention the beads.

She does it again, you say I already told you no, this is your first warning. You have two left before you lose a bead.

She does it again, you tell her, this is your second warning. You only have one more before you lose a bead.

On the 3rd warning, you tell her she used all her warnings, next time you'll be taking a bead. If she does it again, tell her she used up her chances now you get a bead and remind her she now only has two on the ring.

Any crying, tantrums, automatically takes all the beads. No more chances.

She gets to carry them when you go out. She knows ahead of time that if she can have one bead remaining by the time you leave the store, she is rewarded with.....Stickers, bubble gum, a fast ride on the cart on the way out, one of those junk rings in the machines by the door, whatever.

Make sure to tell her she made you proud by working so hard to keep a bead. When she starts keeping more beads, or losing none, keep letting her know how proud you are of her hard work.

If it's effective, you could have her put a mark or sticker on a chart when you get home and when they add 6 days, she earns a Happy Meal...or whatever.

It should be a "game" that she's working for a goal. It can be easily modified by using different amounts of beads, different amounts of chances, etc. but if you start high, then decrease them, let her know it's because she's such a big girl and getting so well behaved that you don't need so many.

You might even use 3 beads when you go away, but 5 or 6 at home.

Just make sure she understands the rules even if you have to have a practice at home to make sure she understands.

It's amazing how much kids want to hang on to those beads.

Good luck. She's lucky to have you care! Hope you'll let us know how it turns out.
 Quoting: Nine's


I love it I'm sure she will lose all the beads the first few times .i have tried something similar.i do care about her we get along great and I was upset by tonight's behavior.i have raised children without ever laying a hand on them this is way different and that's why I'm looking for positive things to do.beads are a go.i will keep this thread updated .and once again I'm not spanking her and called the mom tonight telling these things I want to try.instead.i have asked my parents and lots of friends it's about fifty fifty for the spanking thing and I think we owe it her to not spank.if all else fails then its our fault.
 Quoting: Slueth


Wow, OP, she is "really" fortunate to have you. If you think she might lose them all the first time, you might want to start higher, like 5 beads on a ring. It would be great if she'd get to keep one the first time...or maybe if you use less, leave the store earlier. The first time reward is a real motivator.

Some will say it's bribing, but ya know, she "is" trying to work for a goal, like we all do. If it's as bad as you say, then whatever gets a grip on it fast, is best. I've seen it work for some pretty incorrigible children. LOL.

It's great of you to have the patience and be willing to try different things. You're bound to find something that works. Kudo's to you.

Last Edited by Nine's on 05/16/2013 01:38 AM
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:36 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Mod's,

Is there anyway we can find out who this OP shit fuck is and turn at least tell his girl friend all of the crap he is posting here?

This scumbag needs to be turned in to the Police or CPS before he "Cracks Open" and hurts a little one.....

 Quoting: Juggalo



Mod's,

Is there anyway we can find out who this OP shit fuck is and turn at least tell his girl friend all of the crap he is posting here?

This scumbag needs to be turned in to the Police or CPS before he "Cracks Open" and hurts a little one.....

[/fuck off and read the post I'm not touching or hurting anyone stfuthe question was should mama
Nine's

User ID: 38809969
United States
05/16/2013 01:41 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Instead of bringin food over try to cook something together, I used to have kids help make quesadillas, Pizza or tacos.
Some kids like spaghetti and don't know it.
Kids that age like Mcdonalds, it don't last forever, the boy I took care of would only eat Oscar Meyer Bologna and some cereal drank lots of milk from 6 till 11 years and Mashed Potatoes at thanksgiving with a bologna sandwich.
 Quoting: Me 38369971


What a good idea! That could be a good reward. English muffins sliced in half, a can of pizza sauce in a bowl, and some cheese. Instant pizza. Awesome idea!
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:41 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hi OP,

Here's a suggestion you might want to try that motivates many children and is easy to adapt to different circumstances:

Colorful wooden beads with a hole through the middle to put on a key ring. You can buy them at craft stores.

Make sure she understands the rules.

You put a certain number of beads on a big key ring....maybe 3 for going to the store.

You tell her each bead is worth (whatever you decide) maybe 3 chances.

If you decide 3 chances, the first time she misbehaves, you tell her no but don't mention the beads.

She does it again, you say I already told you no, this is your first warning. You have two left before you lose a bead.

She does it again, you tell her, this is your second warning. You only have one more before you lose a bead.

On the 3rd warning, you tell her she used all her warnings, next time you'll be taking a bead. If she does it again, tell her she used up her chances now you get a bead and remind her she now only has two on the ring.

Any crying, tantrums, automatically takes all the beads. No more chances.

She gets to carry them when you go out. She knows ahead of time that if she can have one bead remaining by the time you leave the store, she is rewarded with.....Stickers, bubble gum, a fast ride on the cart on the way out, one of those junk rings in the machines by the door, whatever.

Make sure to tell her she made you proud by working so hard to keep a bead. When she starts keeping more beads, or losing none, keep letting her know how proud you are of her hard work.

If it's effective, you could have her put a mark or sticker on a chart when you get home and when they add 6 days, she earns a Happy Meal...or whatever.

It should be a "game" that she's working for a goal. It can be easily modified by using different amounts of beads, different amounts of chances, etc. but if you start high, then decrease them, let her know it's because she's such a big girl and getting so well behaved that you don't need so many.

You might even use 3 beads when you go away, but 5 or 6 at home.

Just make sure she understands the rules even if you have to have a practice at home to make sure she understands.

It's amazing how much kids want to hang on to those beads.

Good luck. She's lucky to have you care! Hope you'll let us know how it turns out.
 Quoting: Nine's


I love it I'm sure she will lose all the beads the first few times .i have tried something similar.i do care about her we get along great and I was upset by tonight's behavior.i have raised children without ever laying a hand on them this is way different and that's why I'm looking for positive things to do.beads are a go.i will keep this thread updated .and once again I'm not spanking her and called the mom tonight telling these things I want to try.instead.i have asked my parents and lots of friends it's about fifty fifty for the spanking thing and I think we owe it her to not spank.if all else fails then its our fault.
 Quoting: Slueth


Wow, OP, she is "really" fortunate to have you. If you think she might lose them all the first time, you might want to start higher, like 5 beads on a ring. It would be great if she'd get to keep on the first time...or maybe if you use less, leave the store earlier. The first time reward is a real motivator.

Some will say it's bribing, but ya know, she "is" trying to work for a goal, like we all do. If it's as bad as you say, then whatever gets a grip on it fast, is best. I've seen it work for some pretty incorrigible children. LOL.

It's great of you to have the patience and be willing to try different things. You're bound to find something that works. Kudo's to you.
 Quoting: Nine's


Thanks some people on here think I'm a child abuser GLP I knew I would take some heat.im super nice even when the tantrums are full throttle for hours I try to ignore sometimes I ask what's really bothering her and she will say her dog that died or missing daddy.it breaks my heart but other times its definitely her lashing out in a battle of wills with mommy.she blames mom for dad leaving even though she watched dad beat mom in a drunken rage.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39753538
Canada
05/16/2013 01:44 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Its genetic OP, only thing you can do is make your own, and you cant do that trying to fix someone elses.
January Wolves

User ID: 39910898
United States
05/16/2013 01:47 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hey, Op, Nine's idea of the beads on the key chain is a great idea. It might keep her from having the tantrums when out and if you use the magnetic board idea also then one of the daily squares could be for "no tantrums". If she comes back from public outings with the beads then she would get her magnet in that square.

Well, good luck. Hope the mom finds some solution that doesn't have to involve spankings. Nice of you to try to help her.

Oh, but just hope that mom doesn't make McDonalds as one of the treats. She should try to get the girl over to a healthier diet - even if it's just giving them smoothies (with a variety of berries) in morning. Also juicers are great. Kids love the fresh juice plus I hide the pulp from juicing of healthy vegies in their food such as pancakes, meatloaf, backed bread, etc. They never even know it's there.
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:49 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
If the purpose of her misbehavior was attention, then maybe mom can find time to give her the attention she needs. If the purpose was power, then the child is not feeling like she has any power so maybe she needs to be given more choices in her life. Like let her pick what vegetable she wants with her dinner. Give her choices. A lot. It is simple - mom gives her 2-3 options for just about anything. Kids eat this up. It makes them feel like they have some control over their life. But mom needs to come up with the options, and daughter can choose from the options mom came up with. Don't let the child come up with the options, though. That can create an even worse monster! Lol. Good luck. You all can do this. I have been successful doing this with children with profound autism. It can seem like it is not working at first. Just stick to your game plan. The results will freaking amaze you!
 Quoting: NOT PUNISHMENT!! 33108136


Thank you will try I am making a list of all the positive things mentioned tonight
Alexander

User ID: 15635858
United States
05/16/2013 01:50 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
These days many kids end up with behavioral disorders as a result of the neurotoxins in vaccinations infants get shot up with. Out kid went through a radical personality change after the damn shots and ended up being a holy terror. The only thing that was effective when the temper tantrum started was to wrap/roll her up in a sheet for 30 - 40 minutes, so she couldn't hurt herself or anyone else while calming down. Spankings with these types of kids makes it worse. I tried and failed. She ended up being borderline autistic and has Aspergers. So now, years later she is brilliant, tests in the 95th percentile of the nation and wirtes books. It took a lot to get through those early years and trust me... when it came to screaming and throwing temper fits, she was the worst kid in her school. It was a bloody nightmare. They even called the police on her once after a temper fit and she was ready to run away. She was only 7. Now she's 17 and a great kid. There's a light at the end of the tunnel if handled correctly.

Last Edited by Proud Trump Supporter on 05/16/2013 01:51 AM
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill

Daily Updates
Thread: ASS IS IN THE WRINGER - Rolling Updates from Nov 16th to present (Page 47)
Nine's

User ID: 38809969
United States
05/16/2013 01:52 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hey, Op, Nine's idea of the beads on the key chain is a great idea. It might keep her from having the tantrums when out and if you use the magnetic board idea also then one of the daily squares could be for "no tantrums". If she comes back from public outings with the beads then she would get her magnet in that square.

Well, good luck. Hope the mom finds some solution that doesn't have to involve spankings. Nice of you to try to help her.

Oh, but just hope that mom doesn't make McDonalds as one of the treats. She should try to get the girl over to a healthier diet - even if it's just giving them smoothies (with a variety of berries) in morning. Also juicers are great. Kids love the fresh juice plus I hide the pulp from juicing of healthy vegies in their food such as pancakes, meatloaf, backed bread, etc. They never even know it's there.
 Quoting: January Wolves


I love your ideas. The magnetic board and the healthier eating. Kids love making "ants on a log." A slice of celery with peanut butter in the middle, with raisins on top.
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:54 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hey, Op, Nine's idea of the beads on the key chain is a great idea. It might keep her from having the tantrums when out and if you use the magnetic board idea also then one of the daily squares could be for "no tantrums". If she comes back from public outings with the beads then she would get her magnet in that square.

Well, good luck. Hope the mom finds some solution that doesn't have to involve spankings. Nice of you to try to help her.

Oh, but just hope that mom doesn't make McDonalds as one of the treats. She should try to get the girl over to a healthier diet - even if it's just giving them smoothies (with a variety of berries) in morning. Also juicers are great. Kids love the fresh juice plus I hide the pulp from juicing of healthy vegies in their food such as pancakes, meatloaf, backed bread, etc. They never even know it's there.
 Quoting: January Wolves


The magnet board is a great idea as well thank you. I know now mom needs these ideas if she doesn't try these with me I'm gonna leave her.some people are saying its already to late I'm not buying it.i know she will love these ideas making it a game with prizes may be a bribe but its got to be better. She has a self destructiveness about her it scares me .i have had some success with her I shouldn't give up on the positive so easily you guys are right.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39753538
Canada
05/16/2013 01:58 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
These days many kids end up with behavioral disorders as a result of the neurotoxins in vaccinations infants get shot up with. Out kid went through a radical personality change after the damn shots and ended up being a holy terror. The only thing that was effective when the temper tantrum started was to wrap/roll her up in a sheet for 30 - 40 minutes, so she couldn't hurt herself or anyone else while calming down. Spankings with these types of kids makes it worse. I tried and failed. She ended up being borderline autistic and has Aspergers. So now, years later she is brilliant, tests in the 95th percentile of the nation and wirtes books. It took a lot to get through those early years and trust me... when it came to screaming and throwing temper fits, she was the worst kid in her school. It was a bloody nightmare. They even called the police on her once after a temper fit and she was ready to run away. She was only 7. Now she's 17 and a great kid. There's a light at the end of the tunnel if handled correctly.
 Quoting: Alexander


WTF you rolled your kid up in a sheet for 30 minutes? you're crazy and probably caused more damage trying to suppress her natural personality, really a 7 year old was going to hurt anybody, to each their own, your kid, you can mess them up as you please, only makes it easier for my kids to get ahead
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 01:59 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
These days many kids end up with behavioral disorders as a result of the neurotoxins in vaccinations infants get shot up with. Out kid went through a radical personality change after the damn shots and ended up being a holy terror. The only thing that was effective when the temper tantrum started was to wrap/roll her up in a sheet for 30 - 40 minutes, so she couldn't hurt herself or anyone else while calming down. Spankings with these types of kids makes it worse. I tried and failed. She ended up being borderline autistic and has Aspergers. So now, years later she is brilliant, tests in the 95th percentile of the nation and wirtes books. It took a lot to get through those early years and trust me... when it came to screaming and throwing temper fits, she was the worst kid in her school. It was a bloody nightmare. They even called the police on her once after a temper fit and she was ready to run away. She was only 7. Now she's 17 and a great kid. There's a light at the end of the tunnel if handled correctly.
 Quoting: Alexander


Thanks.the mom is thinking she may have aspergers I told her tonight to get her checked out .she said she would .im gonna bug her about it everyday .i never even heard of it till a couple days ago.ya she gets really violent sometimes .
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 02:01 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hey, Op, Nine's idea of the beads on the key chain is a great idea. It might keep her from having the tantrums when out and if you use the magnetic board idea also then one of the daily squares could be for "no tantrums". If she comes back from public outings with the beads then she would get her magnet in that square.

Well, good luck. Hope the mom finds some solution that doesn't have to involve spankings. Nice of you to try to help her.

Oh, but just hope that mom doesn't make McDonalds as one of the treats. She should try to get the girl over to a healthier diet - even if it's just giving them smoothies (with a variety of berries) in morning. Also juicers are great. Kids love the fresh juice plus I hide the pulp from juicing of healthy vegies in their food such as pancakes, meatloaf, backed bread, etc. They never even know it's there.
 Quoting: January Wolves


I love your ideas. The magnetic board and the healthier eating. Kids love making "ants on a log." A slice of celery with peanut butter in the middle, with raisins on top.
 Quoting: Nine's


clappa
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 02:04 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hey, Op, Nine's idea of the beads on the key chain is a great idea. It might keep her from having the tantrums when out and if you use the magnetic board idea also then one of the daily squares could be for "no tantrums". If she comes back from public outings with the beads then she would get her magnet in that square.

Well, good luck. Hope the mom finds some solution that doesn't have to involve spankings. Nice of you to try to help her.

Oh, but just hope that mom doesn't make McDonalds as one of the treats. She should try to get the girl over to a healthier diet - even if it's just giving them smoothies (with a variety of berries) in morning. Also juicers are great. Kids love the fresh juice plus I hide the pulp from juicing of healthy vegies in their food such as pancakes, meatloaf, backed bread, etc. They never even know it's there.
 Quoting: January Wolves
thanks for the helpful advice.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39753538
Canada
05/16/2013 02:04 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Hey, Op, Nine's idea of the beads on the key chain is a great idea. It might keep her from having the tantrums when out and if you use the magnetic board idea also then one of the daily squares could be for "no tantrums". If she comes back from public outings with the beads then she would get her magnet in that square.

Well, good luck. Hope the mom finds some solution that doesn't have to involve spankings. Nice of you to try to help her.

Oh, but just hope that mom doesn't make McDonalds as one of the treats. She should try to get the girl over to a healthier diet - even if it's just giving them smoothies (with a variety of berries) in morning. Also juicers are great. Kids love the fresh juice plus I hide the pulp from juicing of healthy vegies in their food such as pancakes, meatloaf, backed bread, etc. They never even know it's there.
 Quoting: January Wolves


The magnet board is a great idea as well thank you. I know now mom needs these ideas if she doesn't try these with me I'm gonna leave her.some people are saying its already to late I'm not buying it.i know she will love these ideas making it a game with prizes may be a bribe but its got to be better. She has a self destructiveness about her it scares me .i have had some success with her I shouldn't give up on the positive so easily you guys are right.
 Quoting: Slueth


wow, she should leave you instead
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39753538
Canada
05/16/2013 02:06 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
SOMEONE GET THIS FREAK AWAY FROM THE KID
Nine's

User ID: 38809969
United States
05/16/2013 02:09 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Thanks some people on here think I'm a child abuser GLP I knew I would take some heat.im super nice even when the tantrums are full throttle for hours I try to ignore sometimes I ask what's really bothering her and she will say her dog that died or missing daddy.it breaks my heart but other times its definitely her lashing out in a battle of wills with mommy.she blames mom for dad leaving even though she watched dad beat mom in a drunken rage.
 Quoting: Slueth


That is sad, but she'd be a rare child if she tells you what's "really" bothering her at that age. Did you know that it's real common for children to feel a divorce is their fault?

Somehow, with your determination, it'll work out. Sometimes little things make a big difference. Something as simple as choosing words. Like instead of "pick up your toys", trying "you need to pick up your toys," or "it's time to pick up your toys". Or for bad behavior, something like "you need to stop that. It's against our rules." Young children like to know they can follow rules. It gives them a sense of importance.

Or for frustration, something like, "how can we fix it?" If she doesn't know, then, "I have an idea. How about trying a different way?"

Or for screaming tantrums, one of three things will probably help. Walking away and leaving her alone with no attention. (Not talking leaving her "alone" but going in another room and shutting a door). Or, saying, "Stop. I can't hear you when you're screaming. You need to use words." Or, "screaming is against the rules. You need to go to your room until you're ready to follow the rules."

Just little things can make such a difference. I know you'll find something. hf
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 02:12 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
I see this over and over again. Stupid, unthinking mothers introducing people into their children's lives who may not be permanent. Unless you are engaged, you need to completely butt out. This child quite frankly should not even know you exist. The mother should have hidden your relationship from the child. So now an extremely emotionally disturbed child WILL be furthered damaged when you break up. The mom and the kid need help and you need to be out of the picture. Date the mom privately and encourage them to find a family therapist.

Signed, a counselor
 Quoting: Behcetssucks


bump
 Quoting: Behcetssucks


Well that's great advice but we are talking about marriage.if I wasn't that devoted to the mother I would be gone already.i have a great relationship with the daughter I stay out of their spats.i do talk with the mom about not letting the daughter win. I was very upset earlier tonight and the first few months I have been trying to bring positive reinforcements to the situation but she has been like this long before I met them.i realize now its more the mom than the daughter at first I only came over after the kids were in bed . I have been slowly introduced. I am in over my head most likely but I'm sticking around and look forward to improvements.if there are no improvements I'm still staying!
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 02:15 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Thanks some people on here think I'm a child abuser GLP I knew I would take some heat.im super nice even when the tantrums are full throttle for hours I try to ignore sometimes I ask what's really bothering her and she will say her dog that died or missing daddy.it breaks my heart but other times its definitely her lashing out in a battle of wills with mommy.she blames mom for dad leaving even though she watched dad beat mom in a drunken rage.
 Quoting: Slueth


That is sad, but she'd be a rare child if she tells you what's "really" bothering her at that age. Did you know that it's real common for children to feel a divorce is their fault?

Somehow, with your determination, it'll work out. Sometimes little things make a big difference. Something as simple as choosing words. Like instead of "pick up your toys", trying "you need to pick up your toys," or "it's time to pick up your toys". Or for bad behavior, something like "you need to stop that. It's against our rules." Young children like to know they can follow rules. It gives them a sense of importance.

Or for frustration, something like, "how can we fix it?" If she doesn't know, then, "I have an idea. How about trying a different way?"

Or for screaming tantrums, one of three things will probably help. Walking away and leaving her alone with no attention. (Not talking leaving her "alone" but going in another room and shutting a door). Or, saying, "Stop. I can't hear you when you're screaming. You need to use words." Or, "screaming is against the rules. You need to go to your room until you're ready to follow the rules."

Just little things can make such a difference. I know you'll find something. hf
 Quoting: Nine's
thanks you rock it wasn't this hard with my exes kids they were about the same age
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39568722
United States
05/16/2013 02:18 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
She's just acting out for attention. She's probably insecure with you being in her mother's life. Does the mother still give her as much attention since you've been around. You do not need to discipline her. It will only get worse if you do. Give her time to get used to you and don't play into her hands. She needs a father, but doesn't trust men at this point. Include her in activities and let Mom handle discipline for now. She'll probably come around with some patience. I don't think spanking especially by you will help the situation.
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 02:23 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Thanks some people on here think I'm a child abuser GLP I knew I would take some heat.im super nice even when the tantrums are full throttle for hours I try to ignore sometimes I ask what's really bothering her and she will say her dog that died or missing daddy.it breaks my heart but other times its definitely her lashing out in a battle of wills with mommy.she blames mom for dad leaving even though she watched dad beat mom in a drunken rage.
 Quoting: Slueth


That is sad, but she'd be a rare child if she tells you what's "really" bothering her at that age. Did you know that it's real common for children to feel a divorce is their fault?

Somehow, with your determination, it'll work out. Sometimes little things make a big difference. Something as simple as choosing words. Like instead of "pick up your toys", trying "you need to pick up your toys," or "it's time to pick up your toys". Or for bad behavior, something like "you need to stop that. It's against our rules." Young children like to know they can follow rules. It gives them a sense of importance.

Or for frustration, something like, "how can we fix it?" If she doesn't know, then, "I have an idea. How about trying a different way?"

Or for screaming tantrums, one of three things will probably help. Walking away and leaving her alone with no attention. (Not talking leaving her "alone" but going in another room and shutting a door). Or, saying, "Stop. I can't hear you when you're screaming. You need to use words." Or, "screaming is against the rules. You need to go to your room until you're ready to follow the rules."

Just little things can make such a difference. I know you'll find something. hf
 Quoting: Nine's
thanks you rock it wasn't this hard with my exes kids they were about the same age
 Quoting: Slueth

Yes I knew most kids blame divorce on themselves my parents were separated when I was thirty and I had those feelings I can only imagine how a toddler would react.the father is a real asshole he told her the last time he had her it was all moms fault they weren't together.this gut is a drunken unemployed wife beater that shows up to see his daughter about once every ten times he say he's coming.i don't even want to go there with wether he should be allowed to ever see her again but that would only hurt her more i guess.all I can do is be her friend and encourage positive behavior and get her mom to stay firm on battle of wills tantrums
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 02:29 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
The fact you are asking GLP to spank or not shows you don't have the place or ability to make that decision.

The situation is too far advanced for a few choice moments or physical punishment to do anything but make things worse.

You/she need to find a way to break the childs

feeling of entitlement
sense of power
expectation

Spanking will do none of these.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39798037


True thanks
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27247366
United States
05/16/2013 02:31 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
Sometimes kids NEED an ass whipping amirite? There HAS to be consequences or there will be no end in sight. And I aint talking about "Be good or NO desert for you tonight!"Lol. Stoopid parents...
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 02:34 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
The kid goes from Shirley temple to Linda Blair in about two seconds.the dad is a deadbeat dad who doesn't show up to see her most of the time.last time he had her he kept her an extra week illegally he lives four hours away and moms car was broke down so she couldn't go get her .
 Quoting: Slueth

My opinion.
Employ a nanny.A SERIOUS one.as soon and I mean AS SOON as the kid plays up ring the nanny put the kid in the car and deliver her.Soon she will get the message that the kid obeys mommy or goes to the nanny and misses out on the outing.She will learn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13813766


Well that might not be a bad idea.she is only trouble with mom great at daycare and school.she acted up at grandmas last weekend and got her first reel spanking apparently grandma put it on her.grandma said she didn't have anymore problems but mom was upset about it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31031565
United States
05/16/2013 02:34 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My
I just recently fell in love with a wonderful women.her 6 year old daughter is out of control.This kid is the biggest brat I have ever seen in my life.we can't go anywhere without her having her way and if she doesn't get it the screaming and crying starts and can last for hours.I think she needs to be spanked hard .once in a while she will get a tap on the ass almost comical.I say get the belt out and let her have it give her something to cry about.this kid is relentless send her to her room she won't stay.talk to her after spat when she's calm doesn't do a damn bit of good.the kid is a perfect angel at school and daycare but at home she is a total little bitchy brat.she is ruining her moms life.the mom is at the point of a nervous breakdown.i say spank the shit out of her.i used to,get the belt and just the mention of it put the fear of god into me .aimknow it's not politically correct and its not my place to spank her.ill be honest I look down on spanking I was beaten a lot when I was young for misbehavior it was a detergent for me .Advice please I'm in love with this women but if this kid won't straighten up I'm gonna fly.the other day we were in the store and the mommy I want a snickers came up mom said no and the crying started then the little brat started saying she was being kidnapped in the store the manager actually came eup to us and sled if she was her real mom and she showed pictures on her phone to prove it.we need a young priest and an old priest with this kid.i say spank the shit out of her for five or ten days see if that helps .go ahead slam me we haven't spanked her yet I'm asking for an alternative I have tried looking up stuff and using it with her she is the definition of Incouragable!!!any help or ideas would be appreciated thanks GLP ers
 Quoting: Slueth



First of all, I wonder about your intentions when you call a 6 year old child a "bitch" thats disgusting. Second you have absolutely ZERO rights to discipline let alone SPANK her. Her MOTHER is responsible for disciplining her. I believe she SHOULD be swatted, but by her mother. However, It may be a little bit too late now. If she has no respect for her mother its the mothers own damn fault. Let her deal with it. Where is her real father?

and take this advice: If you could never LOVE that child like your OWN. Then get hell out of there NOW and stop wasting everyones time.





GLP