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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39623088
United States
05/16/2013 02:40 AM
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Re: My
She is not your daughter, I would say keep your damn hands off her. That is her mothers decision to spank or not to spank.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


....and your responsibility to thlnk for yourself and deide what is best for all three of you!YOU,BASICALLY, have three choices: 1. stay &support "wonderful girl" ln whatever she says 2. BAIL LIKE MUTHAFUCKA GETANOTHA FNEASS WONDER GIRL. 3.Make a boundary and consequence that a) everybody understands; b)both adults agree upon
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34900904
United States
05/16/2013 02:41 AM
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Out of curiosity... what is this "successful career?" I think you two are causing the daughter to act this way.
Evesdropper

User ID: 17813401
Australia
05/16/2013 02:45 AM
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wow wonder what the father would have to say about angry OP who cant get his nob wet when he wants too. really that's all this is about the girl is getting in the way, well grow up OP its not your child and hope the girls does break it up for you cos you to angry of a man and yeah her mum is better off without you.
Evesdropper
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39830343
New Zealand
05/16/2013 02:57 AM
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It was with mild amusement that I first read your interesting grasp on the English language (dumbass spelling mistakes), and further on, your simple inability to walk away from a toxic situation which any half-drunk retard would be able to recognize as a no-win situation.

Go hire a hooker, Moran.
R.P. McMurphy

User ID: 39646008
United States
05/16/2013 02:58 AM
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The child is angry at you and her mother, most likely because of her father no longer being in her life. You need to address this and take her father's place if you choose to.

The girl just wants her daddy back.
"Moral of the story is I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again.

==== ESTJ-a (Executive) 93% Extroverted, 82% Observant, 83% Thinking, 82% Judging,72% Assertive ====
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 03:02 AM
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wow wonder what the father would have to say about angry OP who cant get his nob wet when he wants too. really that's all this is about the girl is getting in the way, well grow up OP its not your child and hope the girls does break it up for you cos you to angry of a man and yeah her mum is better off without you.
 Quoting: Evesdropper


The father is a drunken wife beating unemployedloser who makes plans and shows up once every ten times he says he is coming..this breaks the little girls heart the girl isn't in the way .i realize she is troubled its the battle of wills and not listening to mom that is the problem..sex is the least of my concerns I'm worried about how she is gonna turn out if this doesn't get under control.its really bad man.its painful to be around.spanking probably isn't the answer I realize this. I was just really pissed earlier and vented here
Slueth  (OP)

User ID: 38096388
United States
05/16/2013 03:04 AM
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Re: My
The child is angry at you and her mother, most likely because of her father no longer being in her life. You need to address this and take her father's place if you choose to.

The girl just wants her daddy back.
 Quoting: R.P. McMurphy


I'm not her dad I could be her step dad I have not and will not ever spank her.and yes she blames her mom because he is gone.he had to go though he broke her nose and destroyed everything in the house in front of the kids
R.P. McMurphy

User ID: 39646008
United States
05/16/2013 03:06 AM
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Re: My
The child is angry at you and her mother, most likely because of her father no longer being in her life. You need to address this and take her father's place if you choose to.

The girl just wants her daddy back.
 Quoting: R.P. McMurphy


I'm not her dad I could be her step dad I have not and will not ever spank her.and yes she blames her mom because he is gone.he had to go though he broke her nose and destroyed everything in the house in front of the kids
 Quoting: Slueth


A 6 year old doesn't understand this. If you love her mother, and want to be with her, you're going to have to become her step-father. You're going to have to earn her love.
"Moral of the story is I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again.

==== ESTJ-a (Executive) 93% Extroverted, 82% Observant, 83% Thinking, 82% Judging,72% Assertive ====
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1474948
United States
05/16/2013 03:26 AM
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Re: My
I'm not against spanking, I got it a couple of times when I was a kid.

But, if she is only 6 and you have to resort to spanking, at that young age, you'll never get her under control otherwise.


"Send her to her room she won't stay". Right there is your problem. She's six. If she doesn't stay, then she is telling you what to do, not the other way around.

And, if she has toys, and other things in her room, sending her there really isn't a punishment.

Go buy a cheap doormat, set it on the floor, in a corner of the room, where there is no entertainment, and make her sit there. They say a minute for each year is long enough.
If she gets up, you get up and put her back on. Don't say anything to her while you are doing it. No conversation at all. Don't let her jerk your chain. She'll try to make you as miserable as she is.
Everytime she gets up, the 6 minutes starts over again. It make take an hour, but it will only happen once or twice, and when she realizes you aren't screwing with her, she'll give up.

As for the store, warn her once, tell her she will sit her ass in the car. If she continues, one of you take her out, for about 6 minutes, and don't talk to her. Go back in but warn her once, if she acts up again, you'll sit in the car for 15 minutes next time. No toys, no entertainment.

Sounds like her mother gives in to her all the time and she threatens her with punishment but never follows through.

Ir will be really rough the first couple of times, but when she realizes she isn't getting a rise out of you and you aren't giving in to her, then she have a total attitude adjustment.

Sometimes the threat of a spanking is a lot more effective than the act itself.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39696362
United States
05/16/2013 03:49 AM
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Please OP do not give up on this child and that goes for the mother too. The last thing in the world she need is a spanking IMHO. I will say I am not against it but this isn't the time or place. Their are clear psychological issues and she has been through so very much. The mother going to have to set boundaries and stick to them no matter what. When mom is in the doghouse with her for being firm then you step in and give her love so that that emotion remains the consistent thread all the time. The bead idea is great and I love the board idea as well if she's ready. I would just like to add one thingif you think or suspect autism may be a contributer please Google weighted blankets they can be a lifesaver when the child simply cannot get their emotions under control. Please look into this for HER there are documented cases that the blankets/vests alone can do away with the need for medication and allow them an easier time functioning.
AnalysisParalysis

User ID: 32777825
United States
05/16/2013 07:59 AM
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OK folks...I think this guy got the message into his head, to not spank the child, in which I wholeheartedly agree-not your child, not your right to spank. However, I've been reading what you say, Sleuth, and lets look at the dynamics of this situation. Does she act up only with her mother? Who else does she act like this with? Is she charming with others and horrible with just her mother? What types of actions does this child commit other than throwing tantrums? Does she get destructive? Does she manipulate, lie etc?What has the child's history been like? Has she ever had a prolonged illness? Has she had multiple care givers? Has she had traumatic losses? The list goes on.

If you want to remain a part of this woman's life, you need her to get herself and her child into therapy. They need a middle man who can diagnose and/or give strategies on how to curb this ugly behavior. If mom hem haws and does not act upon your suggestion, you need to cut your losses and move on. That relationship between mother and child is soured and toxic and you don't want to be embroiled in that mess. You know this...so be prepared to let go.

You might want to look at a condition called reactive attachment disorder. GOOGLE IT! I don't know if this child has this, probably not, but, because what you have stated is vague in general about the child's conduct, other than the tantrums being extremely long for a child of six it might be worth a look. It may also have you looking into other areas of child psychology that would fit the child better.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34963435
United States
05/16/2013 08:00 AM
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Hh
 Quoting: Slueth


Mm
AnalysisParalysis

User ID: 32777825
United States
05/16/2013 08:20 AM
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OMG! There are a few of you on here who are acting like absolute jack asses!!! Shuddup already!!! You know who you are. OP is at his wits end and while he had temporarily thought about the spanking issue, he does not want to go there and he is not. Arm this guy with helpful ideas, do not continually bitch slap him. Seriously, some of you people are as helpful as a frosted turd! poop
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39830343
New Zealand
05/16/2013 05:28 PM
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 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36516640


Almost crying with laughter - Brilliant. Thanks for making my day





GLP