Thanks for all your replies even the insulting ones which I knew would come because spanking is taboo nowadays.there is no easy fix I will continue to stick to my guns and try my best to help this mother and daughter resolve what the real issues are without spanking.eventually it will get better i hope.i want to be a positive influence in all three of there lives.this mess started way before I showed up.i will keep trying to resolve without spanking.i am going to buy some earplugs that may help with the ignoring.i will also continue positive reinforcement and discussing the tantrums during quality time explaining why it bad behavior when there isn't a problem.open to any and all suggestions.SPANKING is out it didn't start overnight and it's not gonna resololve overnight.I Love Them and want them to be happy is all I want thanks