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BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!

 
thoughtcrime

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06/01/2013 02:09 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
It takes work and it is a gradual process but you can beat it. I've been working on my social anxiety for a while now and have made a lot of progress. Like I said it takes time, but knowing you have a problem helps. Then you can start to catch your negative thoughts.

Exposing yourself to situations that cause anxiety is good advice but you should do it slowly. Don't go right for the situations that would cause the worst anxiety, take small steps.

There are websites and forums specifically for this problem. Check out [link to www.socialanxietysupport.com] for one, they have a great forum.
Anonymous Coward
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06/01/2013 02:22 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Only solution is repeated exposure. Break out of your comfort zone, perhaps see if there is a meetup group in your area for those overcoming social anxiety. If there is, then great, because it should offer some assurance knowing meeting those who are overcoming the same thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21989394


this one ^
Anonymous Coward
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06/01/2013 03:02 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
everyone who says "the only way is ____ " is wrong. different things work for different people. this forum is not the best place to ask.

things that have worked for me at different times

Paxil / Lexapro . the beginning of my battle when i decided to acknowledge/face the program. it did make me feel numb/zombified but it also allowed me to face more scary social situations, and over time, conquer the smaller fears like this.

meditation / deep breathing . meditation is not religious and depp breathing exercises truly salm and soften the body's natural adrenaline / fight or flight responses which are overactive in those with anxiety. now i do slow/deep breathing exercises before enteirng a stressful situation. i meditate abd focus on my body's TRUE FEELINGS IN THE MOMENT, *NOT*fear of what MIGHT happen or what bad things HAVE happened that have been painful. focus on only real feelings, and push out negative feelings and dont let yourself imagine bad scenarios happening. envision good things happening only.

diet and exercise. the place to begin while you consider the others above . i went from eating junk/not watching my diet, to a "paleo" type of diet, modified by me to work for me. beef, pork, chicken, kale, spinach, veggies, fruit.. thats all. no grians, starches, processed foods, chemicals you dont know what they are, GMOs, or preservatives. get regular sleep and lots of sleep (anxiety and depression are linked to poor sleep cycles/patterns) and exercise at least a little daily.. it truly helps you feel better.

finally, consider a CONTROLLED psychedelic trip. psilocybin, the chemical which makes you trip/hallucinate when you eat magic mushrooms, has been linked to "permanent personality changes" for the better , curing/treating PTSD, stopping peoples alcoholism (btw if you drink, stop) etc. but you need to know what youre doing for this. read erowid.com a ton if this option interests you. johns hopkins university (leading medical university) is studying mushrooms' health benefits right now.

good luck my friend.
Anonymous Coward
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06/01/2013 03:07 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
^sorry i made a lot of typos, im in the dark right now on a laptop! wanted to add - it is phenomenal that you are starting to treat/fix this thing about yourself, and thats the first step on a positive journey,.it will be hard but the good news is there is no social malady that cant be cured by reversing the processes that let it happen to begin with. we live in a crazy crazy world and its quite common to be affected by it. it is not a "natural" way of life we have but by returning to more natural ways of treating the body. the meds cna be good to get you started and to allow you physically to enter those situations and scenarios which will help you get better by facing your fears little by little. you will know it is time to stop the meds (always ween off slowly) when the zombified feeling is worse than the anxiety is anymore.
Anonymous Coward
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06/01/2013 03:08 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Thread: Everything happens exactly how I'd like them to.
Anonymous Coward
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06/01/2013 03:16 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Any tips how to get over it? 28 yrs old
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


I have it bad too- and twenty yrs older than you.
meds havent been the way to go for me - xanax kind of just knocks me out and still nervous underneath the drunk feeling.
great thread five stars- i think many people suffer from this but it is hard to tell the percentage.hf
Anonymous Coward
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06/01/2013 03:33 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
OP the mental 'chatter' in your head that creates the anxious feeling is all SELF-GENERATED. It's important to recognize that. By no means do those self-generated thoughts/criticisms/judgements represent any external reality as far as what other individuals are actually thinking. I know it's not easy to overcome but you need to realize that those thoughts you are projecting into the minds of others are originating from YOU, not them. You're not a mind-reader.

Truthfully, the large majority of individuals are more concerned about their own business and their own self-image when they are out and about, they are not investing any significant conscious energy focusing on you or any faults that you perceive you may possess.

I have a recommendation. Get an mp3 player or a smartphone and load some relaxing music onto it (classical, ambient, instrumentals, whatever). Get yourself some in-ear headphones and try listening to the relaxing music when you are out and about in public and would otherwise normally feel anxious. When you start to feel anxious just concentrate your thoughts on the audio stimulation, this will distract your over-active mind and stimulate a different region of your brain than the one that is responsible for that excessive mind 'chatter'. Listen at low volumes so you can still be acclimated to and process the other sounds around you and also hear people speak. You can even listen with just one headphone/earphone in one ear if you wanted to be discreet about it. The music will help you become more relaxed in that type of atmosphere and once you become more relaxed you can progress to where you find you do not even need any music or sensory stimulation to keep you calm. It's basically just retraining your brain/mind not to associate the anxious feelings with your social setting. Classical conditioning.

Try it out.

thumbs
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


^^^^^^^^^^
This

You have to re-wire the brain.
Pathaka

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06/01/2013 04:24 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
1. SAM-e. OTC, not a pharma med. Modulates your serotonin levels SAFELY. Not an anti-depressant.

2. Start going outside in actual live outside more, at least an hour daily

3. Start meeting your friends at least daily

4. Get off the Internet, max 2 hrs a day.

5. Do whatever makes YOU (not others, not others expectation of you) feel good.

6. Get in shape, take care of yourself.

7. Like already mentions : stop giving a fuck about what other people think about you. You are here for yourself. That doesn't mean that be an asshole. Do what feels good to you.

If this combo or some variation of it doesn't work, I'll give you your money back.
Pathaka
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12/29/2013 01:48 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Any tips how to get over it? 28 yrs old
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


social anxiety is self-absorption from the negative end of the spectrum.

get yourself off your mind.

literally.

it's not about you.

i'm not being mean. i'm telling you the truth.

focus on the other people and when you start putting the focus back on yourself in a negative way, change your focus back to the other person.

get. yourself. off. your. mind.
 Quoting: Salt


I know this is an old post.. but I just had to say thanks! This was a big revelation actually. It's almost like an inverted narcissist or negative narcissist or whatever the right term would be.
Anonymous Coward
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12/29/2013 01:54 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Scotch johnny Wanker..

drink just a bit in a glass with 2 cubs of ice whenever u feel to calm down, especially when interacting with others, if u drink more that a glass u will get drunk...
911 deception2012inceptio​n85  (OP)

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01/13/2014 11:21 PM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Scotch johnny Wanker..

drink just a bit in a glass with 2 cubs of ice whenever u feel to calm down, especially when interacting with others, if u drink more that a glass u will get drunk...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52105014


cool2
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2014 11:49 PM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
OP, try marijuana.

I'm not even kidding.
 Quoting: Gemini


pot makes me more anxious
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


I understand. Pot doesn't work for many people. Ecstasy in low, but not too low doses will probably help. E has a threshold effect, so don't go too low. Also, watch out for the many imposters sold as E. Don't do this all the time - it can mess with your hypothalamus and temperature regulation.

Good luck.
911 deception2012inceptio​n85  (OP)

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01/13/2014 11:51 PM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
OP, try marijuana.

I'm not even kidding.
 Quoting: Gemini


pot makes me more anxious
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


I understand. Pot doesn't work for many people. Ecstasy in low, but not too low doses will probably help. E has a threshold effect, so don't go too low. Also, watch out for the many imposters sold as E. Don't do this all the time - it can mess with your hypothalamus and temperature regulation.

Good luck.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52689654


thanks!!!
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2014 11:53 PM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
1. SAM-e. OTC, not a pharma med. Modulates your serotonin levels SAFELY. Not an anti-depressant.

2. Start going outside in actual live outside more, at least an hour daily

3. Start meeting your friends at least daily

4. Get off the Internet, max 2 hrs a day.

5. Do whatever makes YOU (not others, not others expectation of you) feel good.

6. Get in shape, take care of yourself.

7. Like already mentions : stop giving a fuck about what other people think about you. You are here for yourself. That doesn't mean that be an asshole. Do what feels good to you.

If this combo or some variation of it doesn't work, I'll give you your money back.
 Quoting: Pathaka


Some good advice here, but it can't always be done. Country folk may go a week without seeing others. It's about lifestyle, and only city folk can plan on meeting friends daily.

HOW DOES ANYONE STOP GIVING A FUCK? It's not easy to figure out where to start.

Also, how does anyone get out of their head?
911 deception2012inceptio​n85  (OP)

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01/13/2014 11:55 PM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
I know this sounds stupid..but is there social phobia meetings where you can meet other people that go through this!

Being drunk only helps so far! I hate being drunk!

Last Edited by 911 deception2012inception85 on 01/13/2014 11:59 PM
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Balloons

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Denmark
01/13/2014 11:57 PM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Any tips how to get over it? 28 yrs old
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


Don't take medication for it
Do not take pills for it

Just remember the more they smile the more they hide
You will be fine
Please hold still so I can cut your hair long
911 deception2012inceptio​n85  (OP)

User ID: 52924319
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01/13/2014 11:59 PM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Any tips how to get over it? 28 yrs old
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


Don't take medication for it
Do not take pills for it

Just remember the more they smile the more they hide
You will be fine
 Quoting: Balloons



No meds just beer!
Just want to meet people with same problem!

Hate meds

Last Edited by 911 deception2012inception85 on 01/14/2014 12:00 AM
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
911 deception2012inceptio​n85  (OP)

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01/14/2014 12:02 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Is there a group therapy for this social phobia! And do people take it serious!
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Balloons

User ID: 33781432
Denmark
01/14/2014 12:16 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Any tips how to get over it? 28 yrs old
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


Don't take medication for it
Do not take pills for it

Just remember the more they smile the more they hide
You will be fine
 Quoting: Balloons



No meds just beer!
Just want to meet people with same problem!

Hate meds
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


Beer is good if you must, always relaxes the nerves
Please hold still so I can cut your hair long
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2014 12:17 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
What worked for me was getting a job waiting tables. I was forced to talk to complete strangers, and my income depended on it. It was really, really hard for a couple of weeks, but after that I was fine. So, I would recommend you find a part time job or some activity that requires you to talk to strangers. I'm still an introvert, and still get social anxiety, but I'm a lot better than I used to be. Also I think that the older I get, the less I care what others think of me, so that also has helped. Good luck! I feel your pain!
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2014 12:21 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Also, I wouldn't suggest smoking pot- it makes a lot of people paranoid and quiet- pretty much the opposite of what you want. Alcohol is good for loosening up; I have used that for social anxiety, but it is a crutch, and not a permanent fix. Talking to new people on a regular basis is the best option.
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2014 07:15 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
I know this sounds stupid..but is there social phobia meetings where you can meet other people that go through this!

Being drunk only helps so far! I hate being drunk!
 Quoting: 911 deception2012inception85


Being drunk is not a good solution.

Have you tried meditation? Or reading The Tao?

I always liked this quote:
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." Eleanor Roosevelt
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2014 07:19 AM
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Re: BAD Social Anxiety ... HELP!
Look up the Bill Hicks video where he says it's just a ride.

This is just a ride, relax and have fun, it will be over in a blink of an eye