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How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...

 
rainlover
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User ID: 35300269
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08/09/2013 11:39 PM
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How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
There's this male person I know and he is very closed off. Doesn't trust people. Workaholic and a perfectionist.

How do you deal with someone like that? I've tried to get close but this person keeps me and everyone else at an arm's distance if he knows you. If you're a stranger, he welcomes you with open arms.

Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?
Anonymous Coward
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08/09/2013 11:40 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
There's this male person I know and he is very closed off. Doesn't trust people. Workaholic and a perfectionist.

How do you deal with someone like that? I've tried to get close but this person keeps me and everyone else at an arm's distance if he knows you. If you're a stranger, he welcomes you with open arms.

Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?
 Quoting: rainlover


Shove his bible up his ass sideways.

That usually opens em up.
rainlover  (OP)

User ID: 35300269
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08/09/2013 11:42 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
There's this male person I know and he is very closed off. Doesn't trust people. Workaholic and a perfectionist.

How do you deal with someone like that? I've tried to get close but this person keeps me and everyone else at an arm's distance if he knows you. If you're a stranger, he welcomes you with open arms.

Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?
 Quoting: rainlover


Shove his bible up his ass sideways.

That usually opens em up.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34652395


He's a Christian but I don't think he's a practicing Christian, so his Bible probably has dust on it.
Anonymous Coward
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08/09/2013 11:43 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?
 Quoting: rainlover


Stop posting about me on the internet.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44856050
Japan
08/09/2013 11:44 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
XTC but only good Quality,
after the Rush is over try to explain that it is stupid
to be alone in a inner World!

Take care that he not become depended on you,
he need to learn to do it alone and without XTC!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5944539
United States
08/09/2013 11:44 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I'm like that and you don't just "deal" with us. We will never really ever trust you and even strangers we don't trust. You can either accept him as he is or go crazy trying to change him and fail. Either way he probably doesn't even give a shit.
oLOVEz

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08/09/2013 11:44 PM

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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
He most likely has EXTREMELY high expectations of people, which is why he welcomes strangers, they have not had the chance to disappoint him in his own mind.

Once he's gotten to know somebody, he may (in his mind) of felt betrayed or something. Maybe he is offended easily, low self esteem?

I don't know the guy, but social hermits like making new friends - because they can get rid of them easy if they want to be alone.
rainlover  (OP)

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08/09/2013 11:47 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
He most likely has EXTREMELY high expectations of people, which is why he welcomes strangers, they have not had the chance to disappoint him in his own mind.

Once he's gotten to know somebody, he may (in his mind) of felt betrayed or something. Maybe he is offended easily, low self esteem?

I don't know the guy, but social hermits like making new friends - because they can get rid of them easy if they want to be alone.
 Quoting: oLOVEz


Well, I wonder if it is low self-esteem, as is he doesn't want people to get close because then they might see the man behind the mask type.

He seems to want to be alone but only on his own terms. Selfish, really.
rainlover  (OP)

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08/09/2013 11:48 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I'm like that and you don't just "deal" with us. We will never really ever trust you and even strangers we don't trust. You can either accept him as he is or go crazy trying to change him and fail. Either way he probably doesn't even give a shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5944539


Thank you for your post, buy WHY the trust issues with you guys? Is there a way to earn your trust?
Anonymous Coward
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08/09/2013 11:49 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Well, I wonder if it is low self-esteem,
 Quoting: rainlover


For me its more like I am tired of having to "train" others how to be decent people.

Why should I have to continually have to tell others not to be dicks, and small-minded fucktards all day, everyday?
oLOVEz

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08/09/2013 11:51 PM

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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
He most likely has EXTREMELY high expectations of people, which is why he welcomes strangers, they have not had the chance to disappoint him in his own mind.

Once he's gotten to know somebody, he may (in his mind) of felt betrayed or something. Maybe he is offended easily, low self esteem?

I don't know the guy, but social hermits like making new friends - because they can get rid of them easy if they want to be alone.
 Quoting: oLOVEz


Well, I wonder if it is low self-esteem, as is he doesn't want people to get close because then they might see the man behind the mask type.

He seems to want to be alone but only on his own terms. Selfish, really.
 Quoting: rainlover


That's one way to look at it.

Here is another, "Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature." -Einstein
Anonymous Coward
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08/09/2013 11:53 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I know the guy. I'm him. I don't have anything in common with anybody I know. I love to meet new people hoping I'm going to have something in common with someone at long last. As soon as I find out I don't, that's it. Any kind of relationship with that person is an exercise in futility.

I'll sit there with my eyes glazed over listening to you talk about things I don't care about and knowing full well you wouldn't give a shit about anything that interests me. So any kind of relationship with you is just a waste of time for the both of us.

He is a person that is so far away from society, that he might as well be from another planet. In my case I spent far too many years hanging around criminals and radicals and fringe people that nothing you normal people do could possibly be of interest to me. Once you've had a conversation with international smugglers about how to get your smuggled goods through Jordanian customs, nothing you could tell me about your life could possibly hold my interest.

He's a true outsider, hardcore to the max. If you're not an outsider yourself, just forget about him. never make the mistake of straying too far from society. Once you leave, you can't come back.
Anonymous Coward
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08/09/2013 11:53 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
He seems to want to be alone but only on his own terms. Selfish, really.
 Quoting: rainlover


Maybe you are like most people, and think that being a complete asshole is natural, and other should feel lucky that you so much as look at them?!

Is that it OP?

You think you are special, and other people should take you, no matter how poorly you treat them?
Anonymous Coward
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08/09/2013 11:54 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Usually only the most selfish, rude, arrogant people, call others selfish.

So its prob you.
oLOVEz

User ID: 40020654
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08/09/2013 11:55 PM

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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I'm gonna go out on a limb here OP...

You are probably a female and are related to this male character you are referring to. Most likely his big sister.

Am I right?
rainlover  (OP)

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08/09/2013 11:56 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I know the guy. I'm him. I don't have anything in common with anybody I know. I love to meet new people hoping I'm going to have something in common with someone at long last. As soon as I find out I don't, that's it. Any kind of relationship with that person is an exercise in futility.

I'll sit there with my eyes glazed over listening to you talk about things I don't care about and knowing full well you wouldn't give a shit about anything that interests me. So any kind of relationship with you is just a waste of time for the both of us.

He is a person that is so far away from society, that he might as well be from another planet. In my case I spent far too many years hanging around criminals and radicals and fringe people that nothing you normal people do could possibly be of interest to me. Once you've had a conversation with international smugglers about how to get your smuggled goods through Jordanian customs, nothing you could tell me about your life could possibly hold my interest.

He's a true outsider, hardcore to the max. If you're not an outsider yourself, just forget about him. never make the mistake of straying too far from society. Once you leave, you can't come back.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9704956


Wow. Probably the most depressing post I've read on GLP, but I appreciate your insight. Some of that does make sense.
rainlover  (OP)

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08/09/2013 11:57 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Usually only the most selfish, rude, arrogant people, call others selfish.

So its prob you.
 Quoting: Matrix Warrior


No! It's not me!!!! I promise it's not me.
rainlover  (OP)

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08/09/2013 11:58 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I'm gonna go out on a limb here OP...

You are probably a female and are related to this male character you are referring to. Most likely his big sister.

Am I right?
 Quoting: oLOVEz


No. He's just a casual acquaintance. You can't even really call him that, really. Just a person that I know of.
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:02 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Usually only the most selfish, rude, arrogant people, call others selfish.

So its prob you.
 Quoting: Matrix Warrior


No! It's not me!!!! I promise it's not me.
 Quoting: rainlover


chuckle
rainlover  (OP)

User ID: 35300269
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08/10/2013 12:04 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Usually only the most selfish, rude, arrogant people, call others selfish.

So its prob you.
 Quoting: Matrix Warrior


No! It's not me!!!! I promise it's not me.
 Quoting: rainlover


chuckle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19617445


Actually, I don't think he's selfish at all. Well, maybe with his time he is.

I don't know.

(Quit laughing!) 5a
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:09 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Usually only the most selfish, rude, arrogant people, call others selfish.

So its prob you.
 Quoting: Matrix Warrior


No! It's not me!!!! I promise it's not me.
 Quoting: rainlover


chuckle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19617445


Actually, I don't think he's selfish at all. Well, maybe with his time he is.

I don't know.

(Quit laughing!) 5a
 Quoting: rainlover


Ok pigchef
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:18 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
What are his reasons for being closed off, if you are concerned, do you have an idea as to why he chooses to be closed off
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:20 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I'm like that and you don't just "deal" with us. We will never really ever trust you and even strangers we don't trust. You can either accept him as he is or go crazy trying to change him and fail. Either way he probably doesn't even give a shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5944539


Thank you for your post, buy WHY the trust issues with you guys? Is there a way to earn your trust?
 Quoting: rainlover


Why the trust issues? Because people have proven over and over again that they cannot be trusted and are completely worthless. You are no different.

Is there a way to earn my trust? Possibly but it would take years upon years of patience and there would still be that doubt in the back of my mind. You would still never have your name on any important paperwork, bank account, loans, ANYTHING. I would also never marry anyone under any circumstances at all. Only a moron would even consider it. Honestly the best anyone would ever get with me is I would invite them into my home to fuck them and that is pretty much it. She should consider herself lucky to even have that.
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:24 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
Usually only the most selfish, rude, arrogant people, call others selfish.

So its prob you.
 Quoting: Matrix Warrior


No! It's not me!!!! I promise it's not me.
 Quoting: rainlover


chuckle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19617445


Actually, I don't think he's selfish at all. Well, maybe with his time he is.

I don't know.

(Quit laughing!) 5a
 Quoting: rainlover


He's not selfish. Selfish is thinking you can have it both ways. Have an empty relationship with somebody just because you can get something out of it, maybe sex or money, or a shoulder to cry on, whatever. A selfish person would gladly hook into you, treat you like shit, not necessarily on purpose, but just as a matter of the fact of the circumstances and take what he can squeeze out of you. I bet he's not like that, I'm not either.

The funny thing is, he might even like you. I like everybody I know. He just knows that's it's all going to add up to a big fat zero in the end as it always does. Better to just let you pass. It's too bad. If the two of you were compatible, I'd say latch on to him and don't let go.
rainlover  (OP)

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08/10/2013 12:28 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
What are his reasons for being closed off, if you are concerned, do you have an idea as to why he chooses to be closed off
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43720753


For one, he's rich.

Second, he's single and handsome.

Third, he's sort of powerful.

That's all I got.
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:28 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
denise stop making threads about me
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:31 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
What are his reasons for being closed off, if you are concerned, do you have an idea as to why he chooses to be closed off
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43720753


For one, he's rich.

Second, he's single and handsome.

Third, he's sort of powerful.

That's all I got.
 Quoting: rainlover


Well here is the duh part. He isn't closed off at all and you're just a gold digging whore trying to figure out a way into his life. It's beyond pathetic and you should feel bad for it. He doesn't need you or want you and therefore you are perceiving him as closed off because you can't accept the fact that he just isn't into you. You have failed, get over it.
rainlover  (OP)

User ID: 35300269
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08/10/2013 12:33 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
...


No! It's not me!!!! I promise it's not me.
 Quoting: rainlover


chuckle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19617445


Actually, I don't think he's selfish at all. Well, maybe with his time he is.

I don't know.

(Quit laughing!) 5a
 Quoting: rainlover


He's not selfish. Selfish is thinking you can have it both ways. Have an empty relationship with somebody just because you can get something out of it, maybe sex or money, or a shoulder to cry on, whatever. A selfish person would gladly hook into you, treat you like shit, not necessarily on purpose, but just as a matter of the fact of the circumstances and take what he can squeeze out of you. I bet he's not like that, I'm not either.

The funny thing is, he might even like you. I like everybody I know. He just knows that's it's all going to add up to a big fat zero in the end as it always does. Better to just let you pass. It's too bad. If the two of you were compatible, I'd say latch on to him and don't let go.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9704956


Whoa! Your words are barbs of truth. I do like him. I cannot get close to him, however. Well, distance and two, just, other reasons. He might even like me if he'd get to know me. I can't even figure out if we're compatible as I only know what he reveals. I appreciate your words!
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:33 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I'm like that and you don't just "deal" with us. We will never really ever trust you and even strangers we don't trust. You can either accept him as he is or go crazy trying to change him and fail. Either way he probably doesn't even give a shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5944539



^^^THIS X 100^^^
Anonymous Coward
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08/10/2013 12:35 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
What are his reasons for being closed off, if you are concerned, do you have an idea as to why he chooses to be closed off
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43720753


For one, he's rich.

Second, he's single and handsome.

Third, he's sort of powerful.

That's all I got.
 Quoting: rainlover


Well here is the duh part. He isn't closed off at all and you're just a gold digging whore trying to figure out a way into his life. It's beyond pathetic and you should feel bad for it. He doesn't need you or want you and therefore you are perceiving him as closed off because you can't accept the fact that he just isn't into you. You have failed, get over it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5944539


This right here OP...If I just read this written by some chick that was showing an interest in me..I would walk away..if your hot I would bang ya first, then walk away...maybe check out your friends first.
rainlover  (OP)

User ID: 35300269
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08/10/2013 12:35 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
What are his reasons for being closed off, if you are concerned, do you have an idea as to why he chooses to be closed off
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43720753


For one, he's rich.

Second, he's single and handsome.

Third, he's sort of powerful.

That's all I got.
 Quoting: rainlover


Well here is the duh part. He isn't closed off at all and you're just a gold digging whore trying to figure out a way into his life. It's beyond pathetic and you should feel bad for it. He doesn't need you or want you and therefore you are perceiving him as closed off because you can't accept the fact that he just isn't into you. You have failed, get over it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5944539


How wrong you are. I am about as far away from a "gold digging whore" as a person can get. At times I wish he were a teacher or landscaper so that it could all be "normal." Money does things to a person I guess.





GLP