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How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44679943
United States
08/11/2013 09:49 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
There's this male person I know and he is very closed off. Doesn't trust people. Workaholic and a perfectionist.

How do you deal with someone like that? I've tried to get close but this person keeps me and everyone else at an arm's distance if he knows you. If you're a stranger, he welcomes you with open arms.

Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?
 Quoting: rainlover



answers obvious. become more of stranger your to close man to close
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33676911
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08/11/2013 09:49 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I'm like that and you don't just "deal" with us. We will never really ever trust you and even strangers we don't trust. You can either accept him as he is or go crazy trying to change him and fail. Either way he probably doesn't even give a shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5944539



^^^THIS X 100^^^
 Quoting: LittleMissDictator


like...if.. you had a contract on your ass or another good reason to distrust people..

would you after surviving attempts on your life ...

u would just love to rent rooms.. accept any great looking woman.. talk and invite anyone over to the house ..right?

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR A 340LB FAT SLOB..

or..lose 150lbs..learn martial arts..and arm your self to the tee?

stuff that in yer bitch pipe.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38940141
United States
08/11/2013 09:55 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

Why should everything be up to YOU OP?!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

He is none none of your business and certainly not one of your pet projects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10494700
United States
08/11/2013 11:01 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
OP fell off because she can't bear to hear the truth. Fucking loser. Does it appeal to you, OP, that he's nice to strangers simply because he works in real estate, and needs to impress potential clients? Or is your shoe size just higher than your IQ? Dumb ass. And, unlike you state, those who didn't flatter you, like myself, DID read the entire thread. See how willing you are to escape accountability for your own stupidity? The responses in this thread were way nicer than you deserved, and we both know that you're still reading it. Selfish coward who abandons own thread. LOL.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10494700
United States
08/11/2013 11:02 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
People who are naturally better than everyone else do not like to get to know rabble. We interact with people who are on the same path of excellence, but normal people can only let us down. We expect more of ourselves than most and when we see people who do not hold themselves to the same standard it is sickening.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44938282


This X 1000
Jon
User ID: 44957855
United States
08/11/2013 11:14 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
What turned into a nice thread with lots of great advice has become very negative and condescending. The ones spewing advice and criticism are the very ones who haven't bothered to read the entire thread.

Thank you for those who responded kindly, but I am finished with my own thread. Of course I cannot give every detail of this guy's life, but was simply asked about him. I was honest.

Thank you and good-bye as I won't comment further to any more responses. What a disappointing end to some great advice.
 Quoting: rainlover


The guy sounds a lot like myself and I am also in real estate. I meet so many women in my line of work that I would never settle for one, if I did I know I would cheat.
 Quoting: Jon 44957855


Which is why op' s object of desire seems 'closed off', he knows how to play the field and obviously wants nothing to do with op. Shameful how a woman will throw herself at a man who won't even give her the time of day. I think the op has issues, not the guy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25249076


Very true.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45140031
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08/14/2013 08:44 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
popcorn
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28802495
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08/18/2013 11:47 AM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
bump
BastardlyDecent

User ID: 44335700
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08/18/2013 12:29 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I know the guy. I'm him. I don't have anything in common with anybody I know. I love to meet new people hoping I'm going to have something in common with someone at long last. As soon as I find out I don't, that's it. Any kind of relationship with that person is an exercise in futility.

I'll sit there with my eyes glazed over listening to you talk about things I don't care about and knowing full well you wouldn't give a shit about anything that interests me. So any kind of relationship with you is just a waste of time for the both of us.

He is a person that is so far away from society, that he might as well be from another planet. In my case I spent far too many years hanging around criminals and radicals and fringe people that nothing you normal people do could possibly be of interest to me. Once you've had a conversation with international smugglers about how to get your smuggled goods through Jordanian customs, nothing you could tell me about your life could possibly hold my interest.

He's a true outsider, hardcore to the max. If you're not an outsider yourself, just forget about him. never make the mistake of straying too far from society. Once you leave, you can't come back.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9704956


My good sir, that is why they write books on the types like us.
Astral Goat

User ID: 33435073
United States
08/18/2013 12:31 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
WARNING: THESE TYPES ARE USUALLY THE ONES THAT KILL WHOLE FAMILY AND END UP AS STORY ON 48 HOURS...

Last Edited by Astral Goat on 08/18/2013 12:31 PM
They figured out a long time ago that its much easier to control people when we're all watching the same TV shows, listening to the same radio stations, going to the same movies, looking at the same billboards, eating the same food, and speaking the same language...

:music: [link to nextgenfmradio.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45350426
United States
08/18/2013 01:15 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
There's this male person I know and he is very closed off. Doesn't trust people. Workaholic and a perfectionist.

How do you deal with someone like that? I've tried to get close but this person keeps me and everyone else at an arm's distance if he knows you. If you're a stranger, he welcomes you with open arms.

Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?
 Quoting: rainlover


Why don't you leave the dude alone.

Is he hurting your little punk feelings.....by refusing to play your little reindeer games?

Get a life twot face.

Get your own life.....and leave others alone.

They don't need you, and have a right to be left alone...to avoid GROUPTHINK, JACK ASSES like yourself.

How long have you been a Gov punk surveillance dork?

Go pull this shit on cops........and see how far your intrusive tactics go.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45350426
United States
08/18/2013 01:17 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

Why should everything be up to YOU OP?!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

He is none none of your business and certainly not one of your pet projects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 38940141


Exactly......most of the surface layer altruism known as public service.....is nothing more than manipulation and con artist selfishness to manipulate some guy minding his own business.

What is this cunt bringing to the table......that our loner needs?

Sounds like a snitch punk watch group cunt.......enjoying the insider secret voyeurism SIGINT to conjure up a feeling of heroic, righteous, Gestapo power...for her own cunt benefit........no?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 41155065
United States
08/18/2013 01:26 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

Why should everything be up to YOU OP?!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

He is none none of your business and certainly not one of your pet projects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 38940141


Exactly......most of the surface layer altruism known as public service.....is nothing more than manipulation and con artist selfishness to manipulate some guy minding his own business.

What is this cunt bringing to the table......that our loner needs?

Sounds like a snitch punk watch group cunt.......enjoying the insider secret voyeurism SIGINT to conjure up a feeling of heroic, righteous, Gestapo power...for her own cunt benefit........no?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45350426


Wow, sounds like someone needs some anger management...lol

ohyeah
rainlover  (OP)

User ID: 35587893
United States
08/18/2013 01:46 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

Why should everything be up to YOU OP?!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!

He is none none of your business and certainly not one of your pet projects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 38940141


Exactly......most of the surface layer altruism known as public service.....is nothing more than manipulation and con artist selfishness to manipulate some guy minding his own business.

What is this cunt bringing to the table......that our loner needs?

Sounds like a snitch punk watch group cunt.......enjoying the insider secret voyeurism SIGINT to conjure up a feeling of heroic, righteous, Gestapo power...for her own cunt benefit........no?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45350426


Hey AC, why are you digging up my old posts and commenting on them?

They don't have anything to do with you so why are you so angry over them?
STARLING

User ID: 40765247
United States
08/18/2013 03:53 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
I know the guy. I'm him. I don't have anything in common with anybody I know. I love to meet new people hoping I'm going to have something in common with someone at long last. As soon as I find out I don't, that's it. Any kind of relationship with that person is an exercise in futility.

I'll sit there with my eyes glazed over listening to you talk about things I don't care about and knowing full well you wouldn't give a shit about anything that interests me. So any kind of relationship with you is just a waste of time for the both of us.

He is a person that is so far away from society, that he might as well be from another planet. In my case I spent far too many years hanging around criminals and radicals and fringe people that nothing you normal people do could possibly be of interest to me. Once you've had a conversation with international smugglers about how to get your smuggled goods through Jordanian customs, nothing you could tell me about your life could possibly hold my interest.

He's a true outsider, hardcore to the max. If you're not an outsider yourself, just forget about him. never make the mistake of straying too far from society. Once you leave, you can't come back.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9704956

Judging from the number of responses to this tread, I think many here are very empathetic to this particular trait, some more than others. I find a personal understanding with your last sentence. You hit it right on the head.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 48168024
United States
10/14/2013 10:07 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47320960
United States
10/14/2013 10:22 PM
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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
poop
InTheHood

User ID: 48360435
United States
10/14/2013 10:43 PM

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Re: How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...
There's this male person I know and he is very closed off. Doesn't trust people. Workaholic and a perfectionist.

How do you deal with someone like that? I've tried to get close but this person keeps me and everyone else at an arm's distance if he knows you. If you're a stranger, he welcomes you with open arms.

Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?
 Quoting: rainlover

Does he cook for a living?
 Quoting: overwatch


No, but I've seen him roast a few people.
 Quoting: rainlover

just asking. That is what I do for a living and we tend to be closed off from the rest of the world, workaholics, and perfectionists, among other things. Ive had people in your shoes before trying to get to know me. I find that the ones who dont push the issue are usually successful. If you try to tear down my walls, that will make me rebuild them stronger and faster.
 Quoting: overwatch


This...and maybe try random acts of kindness now and then with no expectations...bring him a pop or coffee or some treat you know he likes...don't expect conversation and go about your merry way. He's like a feral cat...doesn't probably trust a whole lot of people so you have to earn it slowly...if at all. May not be able too. OTOH: He may just not want a relationship, even a friendship with you for some reason, like keeping social/business life separate, many high achievers actually do this believe it or not.

They behave as though they don't have time to chit chat about the mundane things(and some don't) and deliberately close themselves off to focus on their work, they are driven and won't be blindsided by ANYTHING. I've worked for a few in my day. Wasn't interested in them, but hell, I was their support and they still didn't open up :) I was ok with it, made my job easy.





GLP