How to deal with a CLOSED OFF person...

^^^This
People like us, are closed off for a reason. You should be content with him even allowing you to be in his life. People can not be trusted. That's how it is. So accept him for who he is.

That's a lonely existence, though. Very lonely.

Just send him pictures of you tits. That'll do the trick.

edit. your

Thank you! That was funny. Made me laugh.

But honestly, I really like this guy. The feelings run deep.

I have many reasons for doing such things. Let's just say most humans are a walking plague who are not very good friends.

You do know that it could be more than trust issues. What makes you different that the others?

It is rather peaceful being alone. Would you disturb that peace?

Does he seek a partner? If not, don't bother him. Chances are you won't get far.

Then just ignore him and make friends with people whose lives you can contribute to, and who can contribute to your life.

This is a good point. People have to want a type of relationship (friend, lover, spouse) before they'll seek it. I like your advice, just to leave it be and don't bother him. I believe that when someone wants you in their life, they find a way to bring you in.

This is the second time I've heard the advice "just ignore him" today. Not in a mean way, but in a way that just lets him be free and if he wants in, he'll find a way.

Thanks, Canada!

Maybe he keeps people chained up in his basement! That's why he doesn't socialize!

Im like that to, was married for 7 yrs & have a 16 yr old son
That I'm close to. Was
Cheated on which ended
The marraige in 2003. Dated some off and on
Up until the last 4 yrs and totally lost
Interest in it. Doctor
Says Im a social introvert. I spend my free time taking wildlife & sports pictures, pc gaming,
Reading online. If I do have any time for
Women its just for sex. I have more fun
Taking pictures & ive
Been selling alot lately. I post them online and get alot
Of comments & thats
My only social Interaction. I have alot of people ask to
Go take pictures with
Me but I never accept.
I know alot of it is
Low self esteem & I have no interest in people bothering me. Im also talkative when I meet people but that's as far as it goes. Would never get
Married again due to not being able to trust anyone. The only people I hang out with
Are family. Would rather spend my time exploring swamps with
The Cottonmouths than deal with people.

for a new day's discussion.

eyeball game

I would do the same in this shitty god forsaken world.

You can thanks the UN.

Maybe stop attempting to control people and they'll just naturally enjoy your company.

Not about controlling but understanding. And one cannot understand unless they are a part of it. Vicious circle.

Leave them alone? I mean, it doesn't seem he wants to be 'close.'

Or..do things nearby, but not with him. Or do activities together but don't talk.

I find people like that more trouble than they are worth. If it is like pulling teeth to get them to open up, why bother? There are so many men out there, why focus on someone who is socially maladapted?
Unless you feel safe with someone who is emotionally unavailable?
If you really really like him, just go over to his place and hang out with him, without talking. Watch movies, or make dinner together. He probably doesn't have many friends, so it would not be like you were interrupting a lot. And he could ask you to leave when he had enough social time. The key is just to hang out, but don't talk too much.
People like this need to be trained to be social again. Just being in someone else's presence in his space is probably all he could handle at first.
Once he is used to you, then slowly start building on the conversational skills. Then start going out and doing things in public.
But this will be like a few years' investment.
That is why it is easier to go for someone healthier.

Does he cook for a living?

So this is a very insightful post. Thank you. The problem with our society, especially women, is that we tend to fill the space with conversation because we don't want to be seen as boring. I like your point of not being able to handle someone in his space. I'm like this, too. I like my space and my things and my solitude, but I don't understand being so closed off that after years it's like a big hassle to be nice.

Thanks for your insight. Very valuable.

No, but I've seen him roast a few people.

just asking. That is what I do for a living and we tend to be closed off from the rest of the world, workaholics, and perfectionists, among other things. Ive had people in your shoes before trying to get to know me. I find that the ones who dont push the issue are usually successful. If you try to tear down my walls, that will make me rebuild them stronger and faster.

Excuse me but I am confused by your words. How is it that you are going to Ignore him if he doesn't even recognize you exist? You probably remind him of his controlling mother.

Excuse me but I am confused by your words. How is it that you are going to Ignore him if he doesn't even recognize you exist? You probably remind him of his controlling mother.

try to assist him? :)

I'm the same way.

By not thinking about it or trying to get to know him. That's what I mean.

So you're saying that the less pushy a person is, the more you are willing to let the person in? That's a nice sentiment, but isn't that a little selfish. I get that people decide who to let in and who to keep out, but it seems sort of selfish to me. Am I wrong?

Yup

How is it selfish? Pushy people are exhausting.

It's selfish to demand that someone be close to you/let you in.