Let's design our own survival kits

What would you put in a survival kit? We need a small one that fits on your hip, another one that goes in your car, and one for extended survival of a family. Commercial kits don't contain any beer, and that's just crazy. Also granola bars make more sense than dehydrated camping food that needs water to be reconstituted. Packing hooks, lines, lures, and other fishing gear is quite quaint and sportsmanlike, but i'd rather have a single cherry-bomb with an underwater fuse to stun the fish so they'll just float to the top to be scooped up. Oatmeal is a good basic food, and cooked on a low heat for an hour it will thicken ALOT of water into a gruel - perfect combo for a high-power vitamin pill. Seeds for sprouting instead of some other veggie source. Radishes are the ideal crop, 28 days to maturity, a few days more to make seeds for later use. Survival guides waste valuable room needed for old copies of National Lampoon and the
'letters' section trimmed out of Penthouse forum. Those Catholic 'seven day' candles definitely have a place in the larger kits along with matches and butane lighters and yes a Zippo. Chocolate is a high-density comfort food. A crystal radio can be made of nothing more than a crystal earpiece and a germanium diode, in case your main radio goes dead. I think I'd want a 'Wrist Rocket' type slingshot, and a really sharp knife. The car's kit should probably have a small bicycle in it. Ramen noodles weigh nothing but have super high calories, just don't eat the chemical flavoring packet. This is probably the best survival food possible, 12 centa a package, won't spoil, and 880 calories. Would go great with that pigeon you shot and a radish or two. Bulk co-ops sell "powdered molasses", might be the ideal energy beverage and comforting served hot. You can heat it up with flaming chunks of the meteors that all the retards say are going to strike us.

Anyone else have ideas?


and don't forget this multi-purpose marital aid ->