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Message Subject NEEDING SOME SERIOUS ADVICE HERE. .
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
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OK, It's been over 4 months....and I know many of you remember my post right after my husband passed. I am coming to grips with it,finally but I cannot believe how very lonely it is being single. I mean, there is just no one to taste my new recipes,no one to talk with, no one to help you when you are so sick you cannot get up and do anything, no one to share anything with.

I have a great family but I've lost my zest for life...Nothing is making sense to me. I have come to the conclusions that we are not meant to be alone. It's just too hard to get out and see couples and families participating in life. I feel so out of sync with them. I am SOME new person with a new path I know nothing about.
Has anyone went through this and if so...how do you find your new path. Where do I begin to put my life together again? I feel so dazed...motivation is just not there.
I do not mean to complain, but guys I have been on here since the days of Elaine, then Ken took it over. And now the monk has it.....bless his heart.
I don't know. I don't even want to get out of the house anymore. It's gotten that bad.
And I do not want to hardly talk to anyone. No phone calls, it is just so strange for such an outgoing person like me to do such a huge turn around. Is this normal? If so, how long does this last? I think the trauma of seeing such an ugly side of this type of cancer consume someone who you felt you would be with for much longer has affected me and my reality. Like it marks you for life.
Just wanted to see how others have faired after going through these losses in life. I need to know if this passes.
 Quoting: Angel Helper


Your grieving in your own way and haven't come to terms with the huge change in your life.

They say time is a healer, it may not seem like that now.

What you could be doing, is doing what most people do when they lose a loved one, and doing all the things they used to enjoy doing together.

That can help in someways, in that it allows people to grieve and move on with the realization they wont do those things together again, on the other hand and what it could be doing to you is its making it worse because you realize that you wont do those things together again, so you don't want to do them by yourself.

It might help to do things you enjoy.
Slowly, not everyday.
Cook the foods, you like, enjoy your life.
I'm sure your husband, rest his soul, wouldn't want you to turn into a recluse, and lock yourself away.

Then sometimes, it can help to just be by yourself.
I am not one to grieve in public.
I locked myself away, until I could come to terms with my lose, I then slowly went out and started doing things I enjoyed. It can be hard, because you sometimes let your mind wander into thinking, "oh wouldn't he have loved to have been here for this", which can make you want to give up and go back home.

How I used to deal with it, and still do to this day sometimes, is instead of turning back and locking yourself away, I think lets make the most of it, its what they would have wanted if they were here.

You will have good days and bad days, but you have to always remember, they wouldn't want your life to stand still on account of them.
 
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