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Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure

 
BxMac
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10/09/2013 01:27 PM
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Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
I have a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow at the VA hospital in my area. I just received a call confirming the appontment, but was informed park rangers will be performing the procedure as VA doctors have been deemed non-essential personnel as a result of the 'shutdown.'

I've been told I have a stick-up my ass, but is a park ranger really qualified to do colonoscopy simply because they work around trees?

This really takes getting it up the ass from the government to a whole 'nother level.

Should I keep the appointment (and wouldn't those Park Rangers rather be blocking citizens from visiting open-air monuments belonging to the American people)?
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:37 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Should be fine. Might want to take some extra vasoline though. ohyeah
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 01:37 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Doctor?
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 01:41 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"Might want to take some extra vasoline though"

Good suggestion. With the shutdown, a visit to government docs now is like a byob dance at the St Cleophus Parish Hall.
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:41 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
No but my uncle is. And he said to make sure you shave your butt-hole. s226
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 01:43 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"No but my uncle is. And he said to make sure you shave your butt-hole"

Another great suggestion, but that's why I have illegals mowing my lawn.
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:46 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Don't worry, the Park Ranger uses a "special" tool for the exam
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:47 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Don't worry, the Park Ranger uses a "special" tool for the exam
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1097757


Just watch out if he brings wine and lights candles with soft music playing. Gnome mean?
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:48 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Expect to leave with a citation if it's near the grand canyon.
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:49 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
And he has both hands on your waist during the procedure.
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 01:50 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Whoa, shit. Now I just read the PArk Rangers are patrolling the Grand Canyon around the clock. Hope they don't get mixed-up reporting to duty stations tomorrow.

Barry White singing, "Can't get enough of your love, babe."

Mama.
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:51 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Opie, I'd ask for credentials. He might not really be a park ranger. sideways
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:52 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"Might want to take some extra vasoline though"

Good suggestion. With the shutdown, a visit to government docs now is like a byob dance at the St Cleophus Parish Hall.
 Quoting: BxMac


chuckle
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 01:52 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"And he has both hands on your waist during the procedure."

"That's not a hospital gown, that's a Bo-Peep outfit. And get your freakin' hands off my hips!"
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:55 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Don't worry, the Park Ranger uses a "special" tool for the exam
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1097757


Yep. And don't be alarmed if he asks to to kiss it first, for good luck.
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 01:55 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"Expect to leave with a citation if it's near the grand canyon."

lol

Talk about a mule train.
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:57 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Hopefully at least they will be attractive..
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:58 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
I have a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow at the VA hospital in my area. I just received a call confirming the appontment, but was informed park rangers will be performing the procedure as VA doctors have been deemed non-essential personnel as a result of the 'shutdown.'

I've been told I have a stick-up my ass, but is a park ranger really qualified to do colonoscopy simply because they work around trees?

This really takes getting it up the ass from the government to a whole 'nother level.

Should I keep the appointment (and wouldn't those Park Rangers rather be blocking citizens from visiting open-air monuments belonging to the American people)?
 Quoting: BxMac
Don't have it done. Cancel the appointment till you're sure proper doctors will do it.

A colonoscopy is not a completely safe procedure. There is about 1 chance in 1,000 that your colon will be perforated. Not a high risk, but that is assuming that real doctor is doing it!
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 01:59 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
For scary truth-VA hospitals allow vet assistants to act as lab techs?

[link to www.bloomberg.com]

The cases against the VA have included missed diagnoses, delayed treatment and procedures performed on wrong body parts. U.S. lawmakers and veterans’ advocates say they reflect deep flaws in the agency’s health-care system even as the department tends to more former troops, including those who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“The rapid rise in malpractice judgments against VA mirrors the emerging pattern of preventable veteran deaths and other patient safety issues at VA hospitals,” Representative Jeff Miller, a Florida Republican and chairman of the House veterans committee, said in an e-mailed statement. “What’s missing from the equation is not money or manpower -- it’s accountability.”
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 02:00 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"Hopefully at least they will be attractive.."

I'm as esay as I look, ac. Take what I can get (as long as they have a good personality).
Lady J USA

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10/09/2013 02:03 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
Why not I'm sure he knows what hes doing did enough rectal exams checking yogi bears ass for a stollen pic-a-nic basket.
Lady J USA
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 02:04 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"For scary truth-VA hospitals allow vet assistants to act as lab techs?"

That's a damn shame and needs to be remedied.

On this end, I've been fortunate to receive nothing but top-notch care at the VA. That said, until all vets at all installations can state they receive the same, the system must change.
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 02:06 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"yogi bears ass for a stollen pic-a-nic basket."

No shit, Lady. I don't want to be hearing any, "Only you can prevent forest fires" bullshit when they're breaking-out the rubber hose.
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 02:08 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"yogi bears ass for a stollen pic-a-nic basket."

No shit, Lady. I don't want to be hearing any, "Only you can prevent forest fires" bullshit when they're breaking-out the rubber hose.
 Quoting: BxMac


lmao
natasha77

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10/09/2013 02:11 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
I have a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow at the VA hospital in my area. I just received a call confirming the appontment, but was informed park rangers will be performing the procedure as VA doctors have been deemed non-essential personnel as a result of the 'shutdown.'

I've been told I have a stick-up my ass, but is a park ranger really qualified to do colonoscopy simply because they work around trees?

This really takes getting it up the ass from the government to a whole 'nother level.

Should I keep the appointment (and wouldn't those Park Rangers rather be blocking citizens from visiting open-air monuments belonging to the American people)?
 Quoting: BxMac


My husband has an appointment for next week. I think the navy will probably probe him. (Navy cook)
SPEAK UP. SILENCE IS DEADLY!

I am currently experiencing life at several WTFs per hour.
Anonymous Coward
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10/09/2013 02:12 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"yogi bears ass for a stollen pic-a-nic basket."

No shit, Lady. I don't want to be hearing any, "Only you can prevent forest fires" bullshit when they're breaking-out the rubber hose.
 Quoting: BxMac


Unless he says it in a sexy voice, then it should be fine.
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 02:12 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"Don't have it done. Cancel the appointment till you're sure proper doctors will do it."

Sound advice, ac.

I'm going to cancel the appointment and then plant a tree in your honor.

I'm out (before they're in.......gnome what I'm saying?).
CMcC

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10/09/2013 02:17 PM

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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
The cleansing is worse than the procedure...good luck.
Fear God and Dread Nought.
BxMac  (OP)

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10/09/2013 02:17 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy scheduled at the VA tomorrow; just told Park Rangers will be doing procedure
"I think the navy will probably probe him."

If your husband hears strains of the Village People's "In the Navy..." tell him to start swinging his spatula and make for the nearest exit, sister.

On a serious note, best to your husband for his service.