Top o' the morning lads
I hate moving. 3rd time in half a year pretty much. 6th time in 3 years. Whacktastic. I've forgotten what the feeling of having a true "home" is like.
Already getting pressured into finding a soul sucking job. I don't know if I'll ever find my calling at this point. Just one menial job after the other until I croak as an old man bagging groceries at the local supermarket or some shit. Step sisters husband can get me selling cell phones. Fuck commission based jobs. Makes me feel so grimey. Amazon is a possibility but I'd rather live out of my car than work for bezos - packaging boxes 10 hours a day filled mostly with shit humans don't need.
Everything just becomes so boring and repetetive to me. Maybe some of us are creatures of repetition and habit but I am not! It isn't so much laziness but rather lack of motivation due to lack of purpose. The way I see it... if I can't find a career worth dying for then it isn't worth living to work for. We work all our lives having our hard earned money siphoned away from us from corrupt international bankers. Retire at 65 after our meat suits are failing us. We're being worked to death, for the most part doing abysmal jobs we despise. For what? We will die with the same amount of money as we came into this world with. NOTHING! Just spend our lives working for the banks - no matter what your profession, you ultimately work for the banks.
I LOOK at my dad who works hard - but hates his job. Has for decades and he's pressuring me to go the same route because that's all he knows - it's what he thinks we all must do to survive. Reminds me of the greek mythology figure Sisyphus. Spending every day rolling a huge stone uphill - just to watch it roll back down every night ... making Sisyphis do it again the next day. And the next. Fuck that
Sorry for the rant. Fucking stressing out over here. Don't know what I should be doing with my life. Don't know what is even worth doing anymore. Just gonna have to bite the bullet I guess. Work a meaningless job- save up money and buy a really nice coffin for myself lol
Quoting: Master of Nothing I hear you buddy. It made me think of The Verve with their song Bittersweet Symphony. Unfortunately this world nowadays is even more built on money to get around in life. Unless you are an early years crypto millionaire or found an internet niche that made you rich (I am neither), you simply need a paycheck to found a base called home. And even then, life can be still a real struggle.
But you will never find that base if you don't find balance. Go from the core of who you are, the base qualities you carry inside. Of course, often it takes plain hard labor even to get a job nowadays, where workers are a book keeping item instead of added value, but when you come to realize that a job is one of the things in life and not the most important thing, you find positivity and peace.
Despite the fact that I understand the struggle a lot of us are going through on a daily basis, throwing negative energy at it is counter productive, as understandable it is when you go through tense times to make ends meet. No one benefits from that and certainly not you, on and off work.
Life is not easy. Especially when you are trying to build it for you and your loved ones. But try to go from core qualities you have, they are the most valuable assets.
I could go on forever, but there's so much truth in the replies you got already here MoN. We have some very wise women and men here. It doesn't make it easier on your travels through life, you are still the one to take the steps, but maybe it is at least a pin point for you to go from.
I wrote a thread about a year ago. A long read, but maybe it is something for you as well. Here it is:
Thread: I took the afternoon off to share how I feel about things And if I am allowed to take up a bit more space, I will post a story I wrote a while back, to put things a little more in perspective. Don't want to spam this thread with my drivel.
Last Edited by InterMezzo on 03/09/2018 12:06 PM