I remember one my mom told me once. Not so much because it was funny but because it was the first time I'd ever heard my mom say the word "f*ck"

A blonde walks into the ice cream parlor to buy some ice cream to take home.

The tired young clerk behind the counter asked her "What can I get for you maam?"

The lady looks at the selection inside the freezer and says
"I'll take a quart of vanilla, a quart of strawberry and a quart of chocolate please."

Clerk: "I'm sorry maam but we're out of chocolate."

Blonde: "Oh. Well, in that case, I'll take a quart of vanilla, a quart of strawberry and...let's see..ummm...a quart of chocolate."

Clerk: "Again, I'm sorry maam but like I said, we're all out of chocolate."

Blonde: "OoooH! Ok, then...let's see...I'll have a quart of vanilla, a quart of strawberry annnnnnnd.....hmmmmm....I guess a quart of chocolate."

By this time, the clerk is ready to scream. He looks the blonde square in the eye and asks:

"Maam...how do you spell the VAN in vanilla?"

Blonde: "V-A-N....why?"

Clerk: "How do you spell the STRAW in strawberry?"

Blonde: "S-T-R-A-W....WHY???"

Clerk: "Now, how do you spell the FUCK in chocolate?"

Blonde: "Silly young man, there is no FUCK in chocolate. DUH!!"

Clerk: "That's what I've been trying to tell you dipshit!! There is no FUCKIN CHOCOLATE!!!"