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Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49840815
United States
12/17/2013 11:32 AM
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Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13669271
United States
12/17/2013 11:36 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
What tittie bar do you work at?
dr. furtwangler
User ID: 51687631
United Kingdom
12/17/2013 11:36 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
start drinking heavily and all your problems will disappear.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 49840815
United States
12/17/2013 11:37 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
You're pathetic.
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


Why be hateful?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12279847
United Kingdom
12/17/2013 11:38 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
start drinking heavily and all your problems will disappear.
 Quoting: dr. furtwangler 51687631


Always follow a Dr's advice.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 49840815
United States
12/17/2013 11:38 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
start drinking heavily and all your problems will disappear.
 Quoting: dr. furtwangler 51687631


Self medicating isn't the way one should go. :/ Though I am assuming you are joking.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51494304
Germany
12/17/2013 11:39 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


How is yoga supposed to help?

It just fills your mind with nonsensical eastern bullshit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13669271
United States
12/17/2013 11:40 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
You're pathetic.
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


Why be hateful?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


You're probably a guy trolling, because most women would be incapable of being this self-aware and honest with themselves.
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


cruisecruisecruise
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 49840815
United States
12/17/2013 11:42 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
"I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested."

You sound like a real catch, by the way. Where do I sign up to meet you?
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


I have problems, and I don't know how to control it. Why are you being so hateful, and you don't even know me? I just want advice, I am sick of being over ran with my mind, where when a guy becomes interested, the fear of rejection overcomes me. I feel like, why act interested, they'll reject me anyways.

I be alone most my life.

I don't understand why you are hateful? I know the hate you have isn't with me.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 49840815
United States
12/17/2013 11:43 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


How is yoga supposed to help?

It just fills your mind with nonsensical eastern bullshit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51494304


For anxiety, it stops my mind from racing.
Sir France's Beercan

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/17/2013 11:43 AM

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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


Tell us about your 'daddy issues' grinning
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 49840815
United States
12/17/2013 11:45 AM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
You're pathetic.
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


Why be hateful?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


You're probably a guy trolling, because most women would be incapable of being this self-aware and honest with themselves.
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


cruisecruisecruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13669271


I am not trolling, why would I be trolling on something that's so boring?

I just thought there were a lot of lonely people on this message board, maybe I would strike a chord with one, who would know what I am going through.
Anonomousco
User ID: 22212316
United States
12/17/2013 12:07 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I know your struggle. I was 54 years old when I found out I have Asperger's syndrome and my entire life has been a struggle with the same types of emotional questions and mood swings that it sounds like you are having. In therapy, I am working through a workbook that may help..... It is, "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Steven C. Hayes, PhD. There are companion texts that go with it. My advice, find a therapist who knows this program, take your time working through the chapters, and welcome to a new life.
Frayed Knot

User ID: 35406953
United States
12/17/2013 12:10 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


You've misdiagnosed yourself.

You're a narcissist.
I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear. - The Patriot
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22212316
United States
12/17/2013 12:10 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I know your struggle. I was 54 years old when I found out I have Asperger's syndrome and my entire life has been a struggle with the same types of emotional questions and mood swings that it sounds like you are having. In therapy, I am working through a workbook that may help..... It is, "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Steven C. Hayes, PhD. There are companion texts that go with it. My advice, find a therapist who knows this program, take your time working through the chapters, and welcome to a new life.
 Quoting: Anonomousco 22212316


Also, this isn't a program just for Aspies like myself. Everyone will gain from this program, if you put the time and honest effort into it.
5190

User ID: 44588391
United States
12/17/2013 12:23 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
...


Why be hateful?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


You're probably a guy trolling, because most women would be incapable of being this self-aware and honest with themselves.
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


cruisecruisecruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13669271


I am not trolling, why would I be trolling on something that's so boring?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815

I just thought there were a lot of lonely people on this message board, maybe I would strike a chord with one, who would know what I am going through.


OP, you have struck a chord with me. I can't really give a longer reply as I'm finishing my lunch break but I will try to later. Just wanted to say you aren't alone.

Last Edited by 5190 on 12/17/2013 12:25 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51678646
Australia
12/17/2013 12:23 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815

You are just too self conscious. If you just know that most people are just too concern with themselves, you might not be that self conscious worryng other might dislike you for your hidden thought of which most people don't care coz they are all too busy worrying about their own concern.

Beside yoga, there's HeartMath exercise called neutral tool ( [link to hmicertification.heartmath.com] ). Basically, when confronted with the thought of cursing or demeaning or depreciating yourself, or worrying what others will think about you, you enter into a neutral condition of not cursing or praising yourself. In fact this is similar to mindfulness meditation (vippasana) where it's actually not a silently sitting meditation, but a neutral non judging watching of your thought, emotion and reaction. Exercise like these where you become a watcher instead of the main actor being toss to and fro by your thought and emotion, will recondition your neural system to not react with your typical self condemning reaction. Just take it into your consideration, perhaps it might help you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33490173
United States
12/17/2013 12:24 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


No, I dont
5190

User ID: 44588391
United States
12/17/2013 12:26 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
Sorry my other post is fucked up. Stupid tablet.
LogicBomber

User ID: 2620180
United States
12/17/2013 12:34 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


You've misdiagnosed yourself.

You're a narcissist.
 Quoting: Frayed Knot


The post above this one suggesting Aspergers and this one suggesting Narcissist are actually both sort of correct. An Aspie can become or appear nacissistic as a coping mechanism. I think you should listen to these two posts.
I know because I was like you a long time ago. A little self medication isn't a totally bad idea if medical marijuana is legal where you are. It can put a nice insulation layer around your sensitive frontal lobe and make you not be so afraid of what people think. It's not the end solution, but can help you chill enough to evaluate your feelings objectively.
The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them.

The Rickest Rick Sanchez comments are meant for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to reflect the feelings and opinions, implied or expressed, of the author.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51678646
Australia
12/17/2013 12:47 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
You've misdiagnosed yourself.

You're a narcissist.
 Quoting: Frayed Knot


The post above this one suggesting Aspergers and this one suggesting Narcissist are actually both sort of correct. An Aspie can become or appear nacissistic as a coping mechanism. I think you should listen to these two posts.
I know because I was like you a long time ago. A little self medication isn't a totally bad idea if medical marijuana is legal where you are. It can put a nice insulation layer around your sensitive frontal lobe and make you not be so afraid of what people think. It's not the end solution, but can help you chill enough to evaluate your feelings objectively.
 Quoting: LogicBomber

Don't know what Asperger is, but OP definitely is not narcissist. A narcissist is too pompous and full with self importance and will manipulate or take advantage of others interested with her. OP is just too self conscious, too concern with herself, but not in a narcissistic way where a narcissist thinks she's the greatest wonder in the universe entitled to be worshipped by everyone.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51556842
France
12/17/2013 12:48 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
You're a giant pile of shit, get over your ego and get a a heart. (don't try to get a brain, women fail 99% of the time at it)
LogicBomber

User ID: 2620180
United States
12/17/2013 12:52 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
You've misdiagnosed yourself.

You're a narcissist.
 Quoting: Frayed Knot


The post above this one suggesting Aspergers and this one suggesting Narcissist are actually both sort of correct. An Aspie can become or appear nacissistic as a coping mechanism. I think you should listen to these two posts.
I know because I was like you a long time ago. A little self medication isn't a totally bad idea if medical marijuana is legal where you are. It can put a nice insulation layer around your sensitive frontal lobe and make you not be so afraid of what people think. It's not the end solution, but can help you chill enough to evaluate your feelings objectively.
 Quoting: LogicBomber

Don't know what Asperger is, but OP definitely is not narcissist. A narcissist is too pompous and full with self importance and will manipulate or take advantage of others interested with her. OP is just too self conscious, too concern with herself, but not in a narcissistic way where a narcissist thinks she's the greatest wonder in the universe entitled to be worshipped by everyone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51678646


OP IS manipulating people. She says so. She is also using the "poor me" angle because it has worked in the past. She is focused entirely on self. I said narcissistic tendencies were a product, not the cause. Since you admittedly don't know what Aspergers is - you should probably start there before dismissing my opinion.
The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them.

The Rickest Rick Sanchez comments are meant for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to reflect the feelings and opinions, implied or expressed, of the author.
Eleven-15

User ID: 41838234
United States
12/17/2013 12:57 PM

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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
You're pathetic.
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


WOW just WOW
blink
And you have a bible quote under your screen name. So shallow and hateful.

I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


You've misdiagnosed yourself.

You're a narcissist.
 Quoting: Frayed Knot

Is she really and how do you reach this conclusion?
Eleven-15

User ID: 41838234
United States
12/17/2013 01:09 PM

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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I have a fear of abandonment, daddy issues, and fear of rejection that stops me from really experiencing life.

I have walls and barriers to keep most people away. I can make friends, but I can't seem to get past certain stages to ever get into relationship.

Once a guy seems interested, I start to pulls games, and I don't know how to control it! I start to ignore them, or I just don't know how to create conversations. I let conversations die. I want to act disinterested.

Other than yoga, what else can I do to help me? I pray, too.

I feel like I am too damaged for any guy to handle, don't I?

Do I tell the guy I have these problems, or will that scare them away? I am very honest and up front to my friends when I act this way, and they get it. But for some reason, I feel like a guy I would like to get into a relationship, they'll find it to be so ugly, they could never accept it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 49840815


OP I can relate to you. Sometimes I don't feel good enough for a relationship. At least you recognize what's wrong and when you start to act funny and start pulling away.
Maybe you can pray every night before bed and ask God to remove these things from you.
Just know you are not alone
red_heart
And don't listen to the FUCKEN haters
3334
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49531429
United States
12/17/2013 01:10 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
OP if you don't already have one and you're responsible - get a cat/dog/pet. You sound like you could really benefit from being able to extend & receive affection outside of the confines of 'conditions' that humans often place around their relationships. Perhaps the act of extending & receiving love & acceptance unconditionally would also enable you to become more accepting and less critical of yourself.

:greenkarma:
Eleven-15

User ID: 41838234
United States
12/17/2013 01:13 PM

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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I've encountered girls like OP.

She doesn't have anything to give a man or anyone else because she is a coward, inwardly focused.

A person like her will just suck the life out of you.

If she wants to change, she better start figuring it out now -- before she's too old and no man will even look at her.

I just feel sorry for people as emotionally constipated as her.

She's already described her AWFUL personality and behaviors. She sounds like a tree stump with a vag. I'm sorry, OP, but the truth can be brutal.

Grow up. Get over yourself. Give something of yourself to other people instead of withdrawing, withholding and retreating, learn how to communicate like an adult and not an 8 year-old with autism.

ghnfghnsssg
 Quoting: Justin Tribble


How the fuck do you know old she is? You RAT bastard piece of shit.
fuckoff2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49531429
United States
12/17/2013 01:24 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
I've encountered girls like OP.

She doesn't have anything to give a man or anyone else because she is a coward, inwardly focused.

A person like her will just suck the life out of you.

If she wants to change, she better start figuring it out now -- before she's too old and no man will even look at her.

I just feel sorry for people as emotionally constipated as her.

She's already described her AWFUL personality and behaviors. She sounds like a tree stump with a vag. I'm sorry, OP, but the truth can be brutal.

Grow up. Get over yourself. Give something of yourself to other people instead of withdrawing, withholding and retreating, learn how to communicate like an adult and not an 8 year-old with autism.

 Quoting: Justin Tribble


SBDave, you are simply projecting your unresolved emotions from your past relationships with those women and it's manifesting as your unwarranted criticism and berating of the OP. She's asking for help to address these 'issues' she's experiencing and your contribution here is to insult her and kick her while she's down? Why not direct your energy/focus to addressing on your own issues/conflicts instead of lashing out at someone else for hers?
Anonymous
User ID: 10679017
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12/17/2013 01:51 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
Maybe your problem is that you know too much and just have trouble like a lot of us, adapting to the superficial bullshit going on in this world!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49178401
United States
12/17/2013 02:02 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
This is a serious question

Are you adopted?

If so, you are just like many other adoptees.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24966359
United States
12/17/2013 02:30 PM
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Re: Do you feel unlovable, like no one will ever "get" you? Like you'll forever be alone because you are just too screwed up?
Heres an idea Be Fuckin Real and Quit Playing Games





GLP