Godlike Productions - Discussion Forum
Users Online Now: 1,337 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 55,025
Pageviews Today: 154,904Threads Today: 107Posts Today: 2,195
03:04 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..

 
SevenThunders

User ID: 47717634
United States
01/21/2014 10:42 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment.

In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that.

I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention.
 Quoting: SevenThunders


I let it go mostly and kept an eye on her, but I knew what was going down. This kind of behavior made it clear she wasn't marriage material, so we went our separate ways.

Later after I was engaged to be married to someone else, she suddenly wanted to be best buddies with me. Perhaps that tells a lot in and of itself.

I think people like the ego boost and attention of having attractive friends of the opposite sex. However it is a playground for mischief. Temptation of that sort is not easily dealt with, especially for a male.

There is one other possibility, since I think it's somewhat odder for males to have a lot of female platonic girlfriends. Perhaps this man is not entirely, ... heterosexual?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53215621
United States
01/21/2014 10:43 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I understand that if trust is breached then there will be more suscipion.
Even if the person is insecure, I understand they wouldn't feel comfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite sex.

The issue for me is not being able to do what you want.
(Not to sound selfish)
Am I wrong for thinking that way?
Maybe I need to do a whole self assessement and find out what the heart of my problem is.
I just feel like a giant mess sometimes and other times I seem to have it all together.
 Quoting: gracebear


There doesnt have to be suspicion. You just have to make your mind up about it and then live it. It takes a lot of communication and two willing partners to make it happen. I've been to the dark side of adultery before and yes I am married but some do find there way out. Its not all peaches and cream dont get me wrong, it took a lot of work that continues to this day.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47969136
United States
01/21/2014 10:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
This is completely situational.

For instance, I have had women friends that I loved just being friends with, and I never had any desire to sleep with them....I literally didn't want to mess up the friendship. Emotions and sex can destroy a really genuine friendship.

That said, that is a certain type of woman, and it isn't hard for a person to pretty much know the difference. The girls who fit this role are the girls who may be ok looking and very cool. I can in all honestly tell you that I have never met a girl who was really attractive and not thought about what sex would be like with her within about a millisecond of looking at her. That doesn't mean I will pursue it, but that thought never really goes away.

For instance, I sit next to a little blonde at my work with a ridiculous body...she is like 5'4, big boobs, athletic butt and legs, tiny waist. She is also a really nice person, but everytime she leans over her desk to talk to the girl in the next seat it drives me insane. I'm a dude, just wired that way.

There is another girl at work that I love talking to, she is a pal.

Now, I could definitely take the second girl around my girlfriend and it would be no problem, they would be friends. The first girl, the hotness...I wouldn't tell my girlfriend she exists if it killed me. If they met, i would never hear the end of it.

Same for me...she had a friend from high school that I met, the dude looked a bag of asshole, just a total dork. I thought nothing about it. If she had brought over a friend who looked like a male model, well hell no.

It just depends on the friends, IMO.
gracebear  (OP)

User ID: 14930628
United States
01/21/2014 10:46 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I understand that if trust is breached then there will be more suscipion.
Even if the person is insecure, I understand they wouldn't feel comfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite sex.

The issue for me is not being able to do what you want.
(Not to sound selfish)
Am I wrong for thinking that way?
Maybe I need to do a whole self assessement and find out what the heart of my problem is.
I just feel like a giant mess sometimes and other times I seem to have it all together.
 Quoting: gracebear


There doesnt have to be suspicion. You just have to make your mind up about it and then live it. It takes a lot of communication and two willing partners to make it happen. I've been to the dark side of adultery before and yes I am married but some do find there way out. Its not all peaches and cream dont get me wrong, it took a lot of work that continues to this day.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone



I don't know anymore.
I should be talking to my boyfriend about all this, but It's such a delicate topic I wanted neutral feedback.

So once adultery was committed did you both look at eachother differently?
Has the other person spent the remainder of the marriage paying for their shitty mistake??
:gracebear:
I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace.
:luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv:
[[No Private Msgs Please.]]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53231006
United States
01/21/2014 10:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
So what's the exact situation here? You cheated on your bf but he's a beta and didn't leave? Now you wanna have some male friends again?
Arizone

User ID: 19617445
United States
01/21/2014 10:49 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
This is completely situational.

For instance, I have had women friends that I loved just being friends with, and I never had any desire to sleep with them....I literally didn't want to mess up the friendship. Emotions and sex can destroy a really genuine friendship.

That said, that is a certain type of woman, and it isn't hard for a person to pretty much know the difference. The girls who fit this role are the girls who may be ok looking and very cool. I can in all honestly tell you that I have never met a girl who was really attractive and not thought about what sex would be like with her within about a millisecond of looking at her. That doesn't mean I will pursue it, but that thought never really goes away.

For instance, I sit next to a little blonde at my work with a ridiculous body...she is like 5'4, big boobs, athletic butt and legs, tiny waist. She is also a really nice person, but everytime she leans over her desk to talk to the girl in the next seat it drives me insane. I'm a dude, just wired that way.

There is another girl at work that I love talking to, she is a pal.

Now, I could definitely take the second girl around my girlfriend and it would be no problem, they would be friends. The first girl, the hotness...I wouldn't tell my girlfriend she exists if it killed me. If they met, i would never hear the end of it.

Same for me...she had a friend from high school that I met, the dude looked a bag of asshole, just a total dork. I thought nothing about it. If she had brought over a friend who looked like a male model, well hell no.

It just depends on the friends, IMO.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47969136


billclinton1
It's my nature
gracebear  (OP)

User ID: 14930628
United States
01/21/2014 10:49 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
This is completely situational.

For instance, I have had women friends that I loved just being friends with, and I never had any desire to sleep with them....I literally didn't want to mess up the friendship. Emotions and sex can destroy a really genuine friendship.

That said, that is a certain type of woman, and it isn't hard for a person to pretty much know the difference. The girls who fit this role are the girls who may be ok looking and very cool. I can in all honestly tell you that I have never met a girl who was really attractive and not thought about what sex would be like with her within about a millisecond of looking at her. That doesn't mean I will pursue it, but that thought never really goes away.

For instance, I sit next to a little blonde at my work with a ridiculous body...she is like 5'4, big boobs, athletic butt and legs, tiny waist. She is also a really nice person, but everytime she leans over her desk to talk to the girl in the next seat it drives me insane. I'm a dude, just wired that way.

There is another girl at work that I love talking to, she is a pal.

Now, I could definitely take the second girl around my girlfriend and it would be no problem, they would be friends. The first girl, the hotness...I wouldn't tell my girlfriend she exists if it killed me. If they met, i would never hear the end of it.

Same for me...she had a friend from high school that I met, the dude looked a bag of asshole, just a total dork. I thought nothing about it. If she had brought over a friend who looked like a male model, well hell no.


It just depends on the friends, IMO.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47969136



I think there is tons and tons of truth to that.
Looks play a big role for both partners..
Thanks for you input hf

See, why is that?
Does that mean the person is insecure about themselves and their relationship??
:gracebear:
I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace.
:luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv:
[[No Private Msgs Please.]]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 52739123
United States
01/21/2014 10:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
How do you feel about your partner having friends of the opposite sex?
Or are they
Is this an issue for you?
How have you resolved it?
 Quoting: gracebear

Depends on the friendship and the relationship.

Married or dating? If you're just dating, even if you're living together, you don't have much grounds for argument. Until you've got the ring, you're two people who are with each other until you're not. Marriage, being a contract, has a bit stricter rules. I'm married, so giving my opinion from that angle.

Are they old friends he catches up with from time to time? If so, no problems here.

Or are they "close" friends he goes to see alone or talks to until all hours of the night? Other relationships don't have to end when you get married, but sometimes they do have to change. I would have a problem with my husband having a high level of intimacy and involving so much of his time/emotions in another, non-relative woman.

Then, I want you to ask let's say there was a breach in trust, on either person, in the relationship.
In that case, how would you handle the idea of, your partner, having friends of the opposite sex?
 Quoting: gracebear

What was this breech of trust? That's a fairly nebulous question.
 Quoting: ssle



I am speaking from a dating angle.

Yeah, I agree. Marriage doesn't leave room for that. The spouses should be going to eachother for that type of intimacy or deep connection.
Just for the sake of privacy we'll keep it neutral and I wont see it's either of us.

I just wish this would go away, but I know if i get married it wil be worse "stricter".
 Quoting: gracebear


Just remember, if you get married, don't see marriage as all these 'rules'. When two people truly love and respect each other, these 'opposite sex' friends are not even an issue. Respect is the ultimate way to truly show your love. Not all married couples get this. I am often amazed at how little respect both men an women give each other.

Marriage should not feel like a bunch of rules. It should feel like a sleepover with your best friend every night.
gracebear  (OP)

User ID: 14930628
United States
01/21/2014 10:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
So what's the exact situation here? You cheated on your bf but he's a beta and didn't leave? Now you wanna have some male friends again?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006



No I didn't cheat on my boyfriend. He didn't cheat on me.
I'm trying to speak in general terms here without revealing private things.
:gracebear:
I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace.
:luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv:
[[No Private Msgs Please.]]
gracebear  (OP)

User ID: 14930628
United States
01/21/2014 10:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
So what's the exact situation here? You cheated on your bf but he's a beta and didn't leave? Now you wanna have some male friends again?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006



No I didn't cheat on my boyfriend. He didn't cheat on me.
I'm trying to speak in general terms here without revealing private things just out of courtesy for him.
:gracebear:
I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace.
:luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv:
[[No Private Msgs Please.]]
gracebear  (OP)

User ID: 14930628
United States
01/21/2014 10:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
Thanks for the feedback guys hf
:gracebear:
I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace.
:luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv:
[[No Private Msgs Please.]]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53215621
United States
01/21/2014 10:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I understand that if trust is breached then there will be more suscipion.
Even if the person is insecure, I understand they wouldn't feel comfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite sex.

The issue for me is not being able to do what you want.
(Not to sound selfish)
Am I wrong for thinking that way?
Maybe I need to do a whole self assessement and find out what the heart of my problem is.
I just feel like a giant mess sometimes and other times I seem to have it all together.
 Quoting: gracebear


There doesnt have to be suspicion. You just have to make your mind up about it and then live it. It takes a lot of communication and two willing partners to make it happen. I've been to the dark side of adultery before and yes I am married but some do find there way out. Its not all peaches and cream dont get me wrong, it took a lot of work that continues to this day.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone



I don't know anymore.
I should be talking to my boyfriend about all this, but It's such a delicate topic I wanted neutral feedback.

So once adultery was committed did you both look at eachother differently?
Has the other person spent the remainder of the marriage paying for their shitty mistake??
 Quoting: gracebear


I was the one cheated on. Yes we looked at each other differently you have to I think. First because we were young neither one of us even 30 at the time and second because you get a glimpse of the capacity you have to hurt the other. He left after it happened was gone a week and then came back would not tell me the full story we went round and round not arguing so much as just suffering trying to figure it out. He wouldn't tell me anything and I finally told him you know what I dont care we either make this work together or let it fall apart here and now I want your answer. We will either fix it or die trying and so we set out to try to make it work. I do not hang it over his head now, I dont even talk about it anymore because its a non issue. He messed up, everybody messes up and there is not one thing in this world I could punish him with or hang over his head that would cause as much pain as his own mind has wracked with guilt and insecurity.

If this is you going through this gracebear figure out what you want and then throw yourself at that goal with everything you and our Lord can will up. It will pass and sometimes when you come out the other side of complete tragedy what you have is unbreakable because of what you gave been through.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53231006
United States
01/21/2014 10:56 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
It doesn't make any sense to me to bring up a "breach of trust" unless someone cheated. But whatever. All I can say is what you are considering will be nothing but trouble for your relationship. If you're not happy with you situation you should just move on.

Men are not capable of being friends with women they are attracted to. They may play the role of a friend but they will want to sleep with her and will at the first chance they get.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47969136
United States
01/21/2014 11:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
This is completely situational.

For instance, I have had women friends that I loved just being friends with, and I never had any desire to sleep with them....I literally didn't want to mess up the friendship. Emotions and sex can destroy a really genuine friendship.

That said, that is a certain type of woman, and it isn't hard for a person to pretty much know the difference. The girls who fit this role are the girls who may be ok looking and very cool. I can in all honestly tell you that I have never met a girl who was really attractive and not thought about what sex would be like with her within about a millisecond of looking at her. That doesn't mean I will pursue it, but that thought never really goes away.

For instance, I sit next to a little blonde at my work with a ridiculous body...she is like 5'4, big boobs, athletic butt and legs, tiny waist. She is also a really nice person, but everytime she leans over her desk to talk to the girl in the next seat it drives me insane. I'm a dude, just wired that way.

There is another girl at work that I love talking to, she is a pal.

Now, I could definitely take the second girl around my girlfriend and it would be no problem, they would be friends. The first girl, the hotness...I wouldn't tell my girlfriend she exists if it killed me. If they met, i would never hear the end of it.

Same for me...she had a friend from high school that I met, the dude looked a bag of asshole, just a total dork. I thought nothing about it. If she had brought over a friend who looked like a male model, well hell no.


It just depends on the friends, IMO.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47969136



I think there is tons and tons of truth to that.
Looks play a big role for both partners..
Thanks for you input hf

See, why is that?
Does that mean the person is insecure about themselves and their relationship??
 Quoting: gracebear


Every human being is insecure and a mess on some level. Some people hide it better with a tough facade, but there are no exceptions.

We are wired to be attracted to beautiful, attractive members of the opposite sex. It's just life.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53231006
United States
01/21/2014 11:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
Oh, and women who need all kinds of male friends usually have low self esteem. They will do anything to get the approval of men which means they almost always end up cheating on their partners. Stay away from women like this guys.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53231006
United States
01/21/2014 11:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I've never understood why women put up with shit like this. Once a cheater always a cheater. You girls really don't want decent mean. You like losers.

I understand that if trust is breached then there will be more suscipion.
Even if the person is insecure, I understand they wouldn't feel comfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite sex.

The issue for me is not being able to do what you want.
(Not to sound selfish)
Am I wrong for thinking that way?
Maybe I need to do a whole self assessement and find out what the heart of my problem is.
I just feel like a giant mess sometimes and other times I seem to have it all together.
 Quoting: gracebear


There doesnt have to be suspicion. You just have to make your mind up about it and then live it. It takes a lot of communication and two willing partners to make it happen. I've been to the dark side of adultery before and yes I am married but some do find there way out. Its not all peaches and cream dont get me wrong, it took a lot of work that continues to this day.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone



I don't know anymore.
I should be talking to my boyfriend about all this, but It's such a delicate topic I wanted neutral feedback.

So once adultery was committed did you both look at eachother differently?
Has the other person spent the remainder of the marriage paying for their shitty mistake??
 Quoting: gracebear


I was the one cheated on. Yes we looked at each other differently you have to I think. First because we were young neither one of us even 30 at the time and second because you get a glimpse of the capacity you have to hurt the other. He left after it happened was gone a week and then came back would not tell me the full story we went round and round not arguing so much as just suffering trying to figure it out. He wouldn't tell me anything and I finally told him you know what I dont care we either make this work together or let it fall apart here and now I want your answer. We will either fix it or die trying and so we set out to try to make it work. I do not hang it over his head now, I dont even talk about it anymore because its a non issue. He messed up, everybody messes up and there is not one thing in this world I could punish him with or hang over his head that would cause as much pain as his own mind has wracked with guilt and insecurity.

If this is you going through this gracebear figure out what you want and then throw yourself at that goal with everything you and our Lord can will up. It will pass and sometimes when you come out the other side of complete tragedy what you have is unbreakable because of what you gave been through.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53215621
United States
01/21/2014 11:10 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I've never understood why women put up with shit like this. Once a cheater always a cheater. You girls really don't want decent mean. You like losers.

...


There doesnt have to be suspicion. You just have to make your mind up about it and then live it. It takes a lot of communication and two willing partners to make it happen. I've been to the dark side of adultery before and yes I am married but some do find there way out. Its not all peaches and cream dont get me wrong, it took a lot of work that continues to this day.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone



I don't know anymore.
I should be talking to my boyfriend about all this, but It's such a delicate topic I wanted neutral feedback.

So once adultery was committed did you both look at eachother differently?
Has the other person spent the remainder of the marriage paying for their shitty mistake??
 Quoting: gracebear


I was the one cheated on. Yes we looked at each other differently you have to I think. First because we were young neither one of us even 30 at the time and second because you get a glimpse of the capacity you have to hurt the other. He left after it happened was gone a week and then came back would not tell me the full story we went round and round not arguing so much as just suffering trying to figure it out. He wouldn't tell me anything and I finally told him you know what I dont care we either make this work together or let it fall apart here and now I want your answer. We will either fix it or die trying and so we set out to try to make it work. I do not hang it over his head now, I dont even talk about it anymore because its a non issue. He messed up, everybody messes up and there is not one thing in this world I could punish him with or hang over his head that would cause as much pain as his own mind has wracked with guilt and insecurity.

If this is you going through this gracebear figure out what you want and then throw yourself at that goal with everything you and our Lord can will up. It will pass and sometimes when you come out the other side of complete tragedy what you have is unbreakable because of what you gave been through.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006


Its called forgiveness. I take you have never made a mistake in your life and then vowed to never do it again because it was wrong.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53231006
United States
01/21/2014 11:15 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I got a 100 bucks that says he cheats on you again if he hasn't already. Wanna take me up on my offer?

I've never understood why women put up with shit like this. Once a cheater always a cheater. You girls really don't want decent mean. You like losers.

...



I don't know anymore.
I should be talking to my boyfriend about all this, but It's such a delicate topic I wanted neutral feedback.

So once adultery was committed did you both look at eachother differently?
Has the other person spent the remainder of the marriage paying for their shitty mistake??
 Quoting: gracebear


I was the one cheated on. Yes we looked at each other differently you have to I think. First because we were young neither one of us even 30 at the time and second because you get a glimpse of the capacity you have to hurt the other. He left after it happened was gone a week and then came back would not tell me the full story we went round and round not arguing so much as just suffering trying to figure it out. He wouldn't tell me anything and I finally told him you know what I dont care we either make this work together or let it fall apart here and now I want your answer. We will either fix it or die trying and so we set out to try to make it work. I do not hang it over his head now, I dont even talk about it anymore because its a non issue. He messed up, everybody messes up and there is not one thing in this world I could punish him with or hang over his head that would cause as much pain as his own mind has wracked with guilt and insecurity.

If this is you going through this gracebear figure out what you want and then throw yourself at that goal with everything you and our Lord can will up. It will pass and sometimes when you come out the other side of complete tragedy what you have is unbreakable because of what you gave been through.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006


Its called forgiveness. I take you have never made a mistake in your life and then vowed to never do it again because it was wrong.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53215621
United States
01/21/2014 11:19 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I got a 100 bucks that says he cheats on you again if he hasn't already. Wanna take me up on my offer?

I've never understood why women put up with shit like this. Once a cheater always a cheater. You girls really don't want decent mean. You like losers.

...


I was the one cheated on. Yes we looked at each other differently you have to I think. First because we were young neither one of us even 30 at the time and second because you get a glimpse of the capacity you have to hurt the other. He left after it happened was gone a week and then came back would not tell me the full story we went round and round not arguing so much as just suffering trying to figure it out. He wouldn't tell me anything and I finally told him you know what I dont care we either make this work together or let it fall apart here and now I want your answer. We will either fix it or die trying and so we set out to try to make it work. I do not hang it over his head now, I dont even talk about it anymore because its a non issue. He messed up, everybody messes up and there is not one thing in this world I could punish him with or hang over his head that would cause as much pain as his own mind has wracked with guilt and insecurity.

If this is you going through this gracebear figure out what you want and then throw yourself at that goal with everything you and our Lord can will up. It will pass and sometimes when you come out the other side of complete tragedy what you have is unbreakable because of what you gave been through.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006


Its called forgiveness. I take you have never made a mistake in your life and then vowed to never do it again because it was wrong.
 Quoting: ByFaithAlone

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006


Haha I sure would and considering we are almost 9 years on the other side of it you just might lose. But seriously though I see what your saying. In a lot of cases you are 100% correct. Just depends on the person and the couple. People can change but its very hard and you have to have the willpower and motivation to do so.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 52739123
United States
01/21/2014 11:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
Oh, and women who need all kinds of male friends usually have low self esteem. They will do anything to get the approval of men which means they almost always end up cheating on their partners. Stay away from women like this guys.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006


This.

A confident, classy, respectful woman has no time for male friends if she is in a committed relationship. Only women with low self respect/ self esteem need a bunch of male friends to stroke their bruised/wounded/ fragile ego.
Neon_Knight

User ID: 20712268
United States
01/21/2014 11:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
When I first met my wife 7 years ago, she was trying to maintain friendships with a couple of ex's, including the one she turned down to be "official" with me.

I ignored it and it went away within a year. I was confident and secure that she wanted to be with me, and that any efforts these guys might make to woo her back would be wasted energy.

In weaker moments, I just figured "Well, if they get her back, that's that and I can get back to friends/bachelorhood.

That's the key...don't be so crazy for someone that you care what happens. Let life happen the way it wants and if it's meant to be, it will be.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 41936242
United States
01/21/2014 11:26 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
A man can have women friends, but a woman can't have male friends. It's that simple.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15289770


It really is simple.

And if a woman needs a man beyond her husband as a 'friend', then she married the wrong guy. When you marry the right man you really don't have the time to be friends with or think about another man. <----- Simple truth.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52739123


Huh?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 630604
United States
01/21/2014 11:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
So what's the exact situation here? You cheated on your bf but he's a beta and didn't leave? Now you wanna have some male friends again?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53231006



No I didn't cheat on my boyfriend. He didn't cheat on me.
I'm trying to speak in general terms here without revealing private things.
 Quoting: gracebear


You are not making any sense. I think you are the one who has males friends and you bf doesn't approve.
Astral Goat

User ID: 33435073
United States
01/21/2014 11:35 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
Oh boy...yeah this is one of those subjects

Chances are they are trying to cop a feel if they are dudes!!!!

You gotta have trust because other apes will try and steal your woman cop a feel even if they see that ring

Last Edited by Astral Goat on 01/21/2014 11:36 PM
They figured out a long time ago that its much easier to control people when we're all watching the same TV shows, listening to the same radio stations, going to the same movies, looking at the same billboards, eating the same food, and speaking the same language...

:music: [link to nextgenfmradio.com]
Janine
User ID: 51826928
United States
01/21/2014 11:35 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I have been a full time hair designer for 33 years. There are around 200 men who sit in my chair, tell me about their life, and get their shoulders massaged if they need it and wise advise if they need that every month for decades. My ex husband said " The only reason men come to you is to fuck you"
He was the one cheating...turns out.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51826928
United States
01/21/2014 11:36 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I have been a full time hair designer for 33 years. There are around 200 men who sit in my chair, tell me about their life, and get their shoulders massaged if they need it and wise advise if they need that every month for decades. My ex husband said " The only reason men come to you is to fuck you"
He was the one cheating...turns out.
 Quoting: Janine 51826928


My point is..I consider these men my friends as I am sure they consider me theirs.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53215621
United States
01/21/2014 11:43 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
I have been a full time hair designer for 33 years. There are around 200 men who sit in my chair, tell me about their life, and get their shoulders massaged if they need it and wise advise if they need that every month for decades. My ex husband said " The only reason men come to you is to fuck you"
He was the one cheating...turns out.
 Quoting: Janine 51826928


My point is..I consider these men my friends as I am sure they consider me theirs.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51826928


That old saying the one who accuses the most is usually the guilty party....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38562568
United States
01/21/2014 11:52 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
How do you feel about your partner having friends of the opposite sex?
Is this an issue for you?
How have you resolved it?

Then, I want you to ask let's say there was a breach in trust, on either person, in the relationship.
In that case, how would you handle the idea of, your partner, having friends of the opposite sex?

This has been an issue for me and just would like a big pool of advice.

Please only serious posts hf
 Quoting: gracebear


Here's a fun fact. Its the cold hard truth but about 9/10 girls cheat. Its just what there designed to do in a way. In this society, relationship things suck. Also they will lie to save there life.
My advice
Bring your female friends around.
Not saying you have to or suggesting it but maybe you should bang'em rightousley.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 52739123
United States
01/21/2014 11:56 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
A man can have women friends, but a woman can't have male friends. It's that simple.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15289770


It really is simple.

And if a woman needs a man beyond her husband as a 'friend', then she married the wrong guy. When you marry the right man you really don't have the time to be friends with or think about another man. <----- Simple truth.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52739123


Huh?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41936242


If a woman is married, she doesn't need any male friends. At least not if she wants a happily ever after marriage.

If you want to wind up being a statistic and being among the sea of divorced, damaged goods, then keep tons of male friends and have a marriage where your husband does not meet all hour needs.

Happily married women are happily married because they don't have male friends.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1135376
United States
01/22/2014 12:01 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..
hungry like the wolf





GLP