Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship.. | |
SevenThunders User ID: 47717634 United States 01/21/2014 09:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 17325476 United States 01/21/2014 09:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 09:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. For the record, I'm a female asking the question. I dont' believe that most guys aren't just "friends" with girls. Maybe that's cause I'm a girl and that's just my bias. I just find it unfortunate that this is such a big issue. So, how did you address the problem? Did you ask her to not hangout with them? or how did you put your mind at ease? :gracebear: I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace. :luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv: [[No Private Msgs Please.]] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 39617624 United States 01/21/2014 10:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Balloons User ID: 33781432 Denmark 01/21/2014 10:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. For the record, I'm a female asking the question. I dont' believe that most guys aren't just "friends" with girls. Maybe that's cause I'm a girl and that's just my bias. I just find it unfortunate that this is such a big issue. So, how did you address the problem? Did you ask her to not hangout with them? or how did you put your mind at ease? Well if guys are single, then just friends is relative Always something stirring behind the curtain Please hold still so I can cut your hair long |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 10:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. I think there could be a sign of insecurity. My grandparents have been married about 30+ years. TO THIS DAY, my grandpa accuses my grandma of having "boyfriend" whenver she attempts to go someplace without him. IT GETS ON MY NERVES. It should NOT be that way for anyone. I udnerstand it gets complicated when there is cheating or suspicion of cheating. *sigh* :gracebear: I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace. :luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv: [[No Private Msgs Please.]] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 53234950 United States 01/21/2014 10:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 53236027 United States 01/21/2014 10:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They are "friends" alright. "Friends with Benefits" If a female wants male friends then she does so just in case "Plan A" does not work out and "plan B" is sitting and waiting in the wings. Plan B needs some "encouragement" to wait around. . . |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 10:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I don't approve. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39617624 9 times out of 10 the male friend is sexually attracted to the female and hopes one day he will get his chance. Why else would a male want to hang around a female? For friendship??? Legit Friendship! I know there are males like that because my boyfriend is one of them. He has told me that he would be genuinely friendly and they automatically assumed he was interested in them. So, I guess he is the 1/10. :gracebear: I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace. :luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv: [[No Private Msgs Please.]] |
ssle User ID: 44553387 United States 01/21/2014 10:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | How do you feel about your partner having friends of the opposite sex? Quoting: gracebear Or are they Is this an issue for you? How have you resolved it? Depends on the friendship and the relationship. Married or dating? If you're just dating, even if you're living together, you don't have much grounds for argument. Until you've got the ring, you're two people who are with each other until you're not. Marriage, being a contract, has a bit stricter rules. I'm married, so giving my opinion from that angle. Are they old friends he catches up with from time to time? If so, no problems here. Or are they "close" friends he goes to see alone or talks to until all hours of the night? Other relationships don't have to end when you get married, but sometimes they do have to change. I would have a problem with my husband having a high level of intimacy and involving so much of his time/emotions in another, non-relative woman. Then, I want you to ask let's say there was a breach in trust, on either person, in the relationship. Quoting: gracebear In that case, how would you handle the idea of, your partner, having friends of the opposite sex? What was this breech of trust? That's a fairly nebulous question. Everyone is worth knowing. Everything is worth learning. You're never too good. You're never not good enough. |
Arizone User ID: 19617445 United States 01/21/2014 10:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Arizone User ID: 19617445 United States 01/21/2014 10:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52739123 United States 01/21/2014 10:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. For the record, I'm a female asking the question. I dont' believe that most guys aren't just "friends" with girls. Maybe that's cause I'm a girl and that's just my bias. I just find it unfortunate that this is such a big issue. So, how did you address the problem? Did you ask her to not hangout with them? or how did you put your mind at ease? Happily married women who are smart will choose not to have any male friends (only male friends that are friends with the husband , and will not hang out with men out of respect to the husband). Women that need to have male friends outside of the marriage are the ones who wind up cheating because they have low self esteem, no self worth and always believe that sweet talking guy when he tells her the grass is greener on his side... the rise in divorce is also because the average person now has 100s of opposite sex friends on Facebook and other social media. Happily married couples stay off social media, or share one account. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52739123 United States 01/21/2014 10:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Balloons User ID: 33781432 Denmark 01/21/2014 10:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They are "friends" alright. "Friends with Benefits" Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53236027 If a female wants male friends then she does so just in case "Plan A" does not work out and "plan B" is sitting and waiting in the wings. Plan B needs some "encouragement" to wait around. . . Probably This is really a most hideous and malicious tendency Please hold still so I can cut your hair long |
ssle User ID: 44553387 United States 01/21/2014 10:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Happily married women who are smart will choose not to have any male friends (only male friends that are friends with the husband , and will not hang out with men out of respect to the husband). Women that need to have male friends outside of the marriage are the ones who wind up cheating because they have low self esteem, no self worth and always believe that sweet talking guy when he tells her the grass is greener on his side... the rise in divorce is also because the average person now has 100s of opposite sex friends on Facebook and other social media. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52739123 Happily married couples stay off social media, or share one account. ^^ this right here We don't share one account, mostly because my husband never uses his and mine is linked to a lot of my clients' Facebook pages. I think if either of us were heavy social media users for the purpose of socializing, we'd share an account. Everyone is worth knowing. Everything is worth learning. You're never too good. You're never not good enough. |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 10:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Women are the same way though. They'll sleep with a man just to bust up a happy relationship because they can't sustain one. Women are vicious. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53234950 Yeah, well men aren't innocent either. I'm asking you though, do you approve of it ? :gracebear: I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace. :luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv: [[No Private Msgs Please.]] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52739123 United States 01/21/2014 10:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. For the record, I'm a female asking the question. I dont' believe that most guys aren't just "friends" with girls. Maybe that's cause I'm a girl and that's just my bias. I just find it unfortunate that this is such a big issue. So, how did you address the problem? Did you ask her to not hangout with them? or how did you put your mind at ease? Happily married women who are smart will choose not to have any male friends (only male friends that are friends with the husband , and will not hang out with men out of respect to the husband). Women that need to have male friends outside of the marriage are the ones who wind up cheating because they have low self esteem, no self worth and always believe that sweet talking guy when he tells her the grass is greener on his side... the rise in divorce is also because the average person now has 100s of opposite sex friends on Facebook and other social media. Happily married couples stay off social media, or share one account. I forgot to say, if you are not ready to make your husband the only man in your life that you are truly and loyally devoted to, then that is a red flag you are not ready for marriage, or he's not the right guy to marry. I've heard women friends say they keep men friends around because they sometimes feel their husband's are not right for them. Sad. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52739123 United States 01/21/2014 10:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. For the record, I'm a female asking the question. I dont' believe that most guys aren't just "friends" with girls. Maybe that's cause I'm a girl and that's just my bias. I just find it unfortunate that this is such a big issue. So, how did you address the problem? Did you ask her to not hangout with them? or how did you put your mind at ease? Happily married women who are smart will choose not to have any male friends (only male friends that are friends with the husband , and will not hang out with men out of respect to the husband). Women that need to have male friends outside of the marriage are the ones who wind up cheating because they have low self esteem, no self worth and always believe that sweet talking guy when he tells her the grass is greener on his side... the rise in divorce is also because the average person now has 100s of opposite sex friends on Facebook and other social media. Happily married couples stay off social media, or share one account. I forgot to say, if you are not ready to make your husband the only man in your life that you are truly and loyally devoted to, then that is a red flag you are not ready for marriage, or he's not the right guy to marry. I've heard women friends say they keep men friends around because they sometimes feel their husband's are not right for them. Sad. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 15289770 United States 01/21/2014 10:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Arizone User ID: 19617445 United States 01/21/2014 10:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They are "friends" alright. "Friends with Benefits" Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53236027 If a female wants male friends then she does so just in case "Plan A" does not work out and "plan B" is sitting and waiting in the wings. Plan B needs some "encouragement" to wait around. . . Probably This is really a most hideous and malicious tendency Sorry I was just giving my opinion It's my nature |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 53231006 United States 01/21/2014 10:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 10:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | How do you feel about your partner having friends of the opposite sex? Quoting: gracebear Or are they Is this an issue for you? How have you resolved it? Depends on the friendship and the relationship. Married or dating? If you're just dating, even if you're living together, you don't have much grounds for argument. Until you've got the ring, you're two people who are with each other until you're not. Marriage, being a contract, has a bit stricter rules. I'm married, so giving my opinion from that angle. Are they old friends he catches up with from time to time? If so, no problems here. Or are they "close" friends he goes to see alone or talks to until all hours of the night? Other relationships don't have to end when you get married, but sometimes they do have to change. I would have a problem with my husband having a high level of intimacy and involving so much of his time/emotions in another, non-relative woman. Then, I want you to ask let's say there was a breach in trust, on either person, in the relationship. Quoting: gracebear In that case, how would you handle the idea of, your partner, having friends of the opposite sex? What was this breech of trust? That's a fairly nebulous question. I am speaking from a dating angle. Yeah, I agree. Marriage doesn't leave room for that. The spouses should be going to eachother for that type of intimacy or deep connection. Just for the sake of privacy we'll keep it neutral and I wont see it's either of us. I just wish this would go away, but I know if i get married it wil be worse "stricter". :gracebear: I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace. :luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv: [[No Private Msgs Please.]] |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 10:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Balloons User ID: 33781432 Denmark 01/21/2014 10:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They are "friends" alright. "Friends with Benefits" Quoting: Anonymous Coward 53236027 If a female wants male friends then she does so just in case "Plan A" does not work out and "plan B" is sitting and waiting in the wings. Plan B needs some "encouragement" to wait around. . . Probably This is really a most hideous and malicious tendency Sorry I was just giving my opinion Was not referring to you, was referring to this situation If a female wants male friends then she does so just in case "Plan A" does not work out and "plan B" is sitting and waiting in the wings. Plan B needs some "encouragement" to wait around. Don't worry Please hold still so I can cut your hair long |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 53215621 United States 01/21/2014 10:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 10:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My old girlfriend had a coterie of male 'friends'. They were primarily ex lovers who would just hang around hoping for a weak moment. Quoting: SevenThunders In general most guys aren't just 'friends' with girls, especially if the women are attractive. I'd make sure she was aware of that. Perhaps you could start hanging out with lovely female friends yourself and see if she's down for that. I'm guessing your girl just likes the attention. For the record, I'm a female asking the question. I dont' believe that most guys aren't just "friends" with girls. Maybe that's cause I'm a girl and that's just my bias. I just find it unfortunate that this is such a big issue. So, how did you address the problem? Did you ask her to not hangout with them? or how did you put your mind at ease? Happily married women who are smart will choose not to have any male friends (only male friends that are friends with the husband , and will not hang out with men out of respect to the husband). Women that need to have male friends outside of the marriage are the ones who wind up cheating because they have low self esteem, no self worth and always believe that sweet talking guy when he tells her the grass is greener on his side... the rise in divorce is also because the average person now has 100s of opposite sex friends on Facebook and other social media. Happily married couples stay off social media, or share one account. I just think there are too many rules. I don't like it, but I understand why they are there. It's out of respect for eachother. As far as the social media, I already knew not to go down that path. It's not worth the headache. :gracebear: I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace. :luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv: [[No Private Msgs Please.]] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52739123 United States 01/21/2014 10:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A man can have women friends, but a woman can't have male friends. It's that simple. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15289770 It really is simple. And if a woman needs a man beyond her husband as a 'friend', then she married the wrong guy. When you marry the right man you really don't have the time to be friends with or think about another man. <----- Simple truth. |
gracebear (OP) User ID: 14930628 United States 01/21/2014 10:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I understand that if trust is breached then there will be more suscipion. Even if the person is insecure, I understand they wouldn't feel comfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite sex. The issue for me is not being able to do what you want. (Not to sound selfish) Am I wrong for thinking that way? Maybe I need to do a whole self assessement and find out what the heart of my problem is. I just feel like a giant mess sometimes and other times I seem to have it all together. :gracebear: I eat, sleep, and breathe God's Grace. :luv: My Heart Is Taken :luv: [[No Private Msgs Please.]] |
Arizone User ID: 19617445 United States 01/21/2014 10:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Was not referring to you, was referring to this situation If a female wants male friends then she does so just in case "Plan A" does not work out and "plan B" is sitting and waiting in the wings. Plan B needs some "encouragement" to wait around. Don't worry Ok It's my nature |