Need advice from men and women who are in a relationship..

Hey Grace,

I'll do my best to give you my thoughts on it.

You are definitely not alone in this one and these days it's difficult to find someone trustworthy (or just a real man lol) but if you don't want your heart broken I would advise don't go by only your feeling when choosing a partner. As from the beginning it has to be someone you are going to be able to tolerate for rest of your life that suits you. If it's anything less than what God wants it will either teach you an important lesson or just end in heartbreak. They have to have God at number one, and they have to be following God. If you are lucky enough to get that far then you have a good chance of building trust because those that follow God do not break trust with their relationships.

If there is trust and clear honest communication it makes it a lot easier because you know there is no cheating or betraying. If it does happen though you need to be able to center yourself and rely on God, and not the other person for support. That's why the love of God comes first because the love from men is mostly unreliable and pales in comparison. God is the one you can rely on all relationships are built from that. That's why it's such a blessing to be following God because when you are not cursed with sinful stuff you don't hurt others.

If you do get into a difficult relationship where trust is shaky, and in which things feel insecure, I would get out as fast as you can before you get heartbroken. Even if you have feelings, it's important to let people go that are not serving a right purpose.

Oh also, seek discernment and wisdom to avoid wasting time and mistakes! An over religious person does not mean someone closer to God, An over religious person who goes to church can be in some cases a big red flag. I know of a lot of so called Christian people that are fake, and they can deceive their partner. For instance I saw one documentary where this predator false prophet guy use to stalk around churches to pick up girls, charm them, then use them for his cult. That is worst case but you just have to be careful who you get involved with. When you get it right it won't even be a question about it.

The best chance you have is build everything on a solid foundation. Everything will work out in the end.

But like I said it's not just an all easy life with flowers and roses. When you follow God you have to give up everything else that isn't his will, and in some instances that is some relationships, or timing of things, or other worldly things, just whatever he wants for you have to trust first and foremost. Patience and endurance and abstaining from sinful stuff and trust, and you will get answers.

I'd usually like to break this down and give you some potential analytical theory but it won't do you any good. You see the real question you are asking is how do I influence my control to my partner's life without bending him too much or breaking him to upset/ make trust issues. This happens a lot and both sides of the relationship male/female, weak/strong etc encounter this problem.

The solution is actually that having friends of the opposite sex makes absolutely no difference because if you have a true partner, then no matter who he/she hangs around they will make no difference in your relationship. Personally I see it as if you ask this question then you really arn't asking a question about his trust, your asking about your own trust. Something true and real will not and cannot be shaken by something like this. Sorry to give you the convoluted answer but that's how I see it.

When you are with your true mate, trust isn't something you have to continually manage and work at. It's something that you rely on heavily and test it but believe in it. I see it as a tether between her and I in my mind and when i'm in need or I feel lost, I pull on that tether to gain my strength.

I don't agree with opposite sex friendships when involved in a marriage and neither does my husband.

Isn't and never was an issue.

I just can't imagine my husband having a female friend so I don't know.

But we were both kinda raised this way so I think it has to do with culture and background on how to handle it. We are going to instill the same values in our children and grandchildren, it really does help keep a lot of problems away and don't have to worry about someone coming between. Sometimes even same sex friendships aren't healthy because they can steer you away as well. I have same sex friendships but they don't cross the line into my family life, neither do my husbands friendships with his male friends.

This is so true!

There are women who simply want to have some kind of display of power over a man--they will try to seduce a man even if his g/f is 9 months pregnant--they have NO loyalty to other women and feel that IF they can tempt him into having sex with them, they have some kind of pussy power, or feminine pull that the g/f does not possess.

It's sad because without solidarity, females are turning men into whores by trying to compete for men. This is completely unnatural!

My b/f has female friends, and I don't have issue with it, because I know where I stand--I have his heart and his loyalty. I have found that jealousy and insecurity only make a man feel that you're not worthy of such devotion, and they will stray as a result. But when you appreciate a man for his loyalty and integrity, he will always choose his happy relationship over any loose, thirsty chicks that throw their assets in his direction.

If your man gets a kick out of turning chicks down and driving them crazy by pushing them away--he is WIN. If he gets his kicks by diving into loose, easy women just because they make themselves available to him--he is easy and cheap himself--don't be upset because it's not you!

You can't love someone and disallow them the freedom to choose their friends--however, you can choose to love someone with integrity and honor, and build something that is invincible against the petty efforts of tricks and hoes. Rather than pressuring him to distance himself from his female friends--set yourself apart and refuse to compete. Why put yourself on the level of friends, when you're the queen who won his heart? Act accordingly.

Just sayin.

Seek the Lord,
Trust Him in All things
Wrap His Law around your heart
It is good. From the universe set in its order
To Loving your neighbour in true Love,
Naked, transparent innocent.
As you were created to evolve ...
Dynamic in truth.
In Love
And All great things shall come to you
Be set apart, holy

And always remember He Is the father, the Loving
potter & vinedresser

beautifully put, thank you.

Hey Grace!

Be VERY careful of accepting or listening to Brightstarz.
Brightstarz was formerly known as FIREMAN2013 and was banned on GLP for posting pervy messages.

See these threads for further information-
This has to be discussed, PERVY PRIVATE MESSAGES, how far do you take them?
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]

Here is a quote from the original post-
"when i saw those girls in the short skirt with their legs showing i just wanted to nuzzle my nose into their pussy and sniff their snatch up their skirt like a dog LOL."

Is this the kind of friend you want?

She did my signature. We are already friends. Tard.

My fiancee and I have friends of the opposite sex. We have settled our difference and trust each other. However, its not easy. There is a line that needs to stay firm. No inappropriate contact or interaction. She goes to lunch and dinner with friends but no drinks or private interaction.

Plus I'm pretty sure one of them is gay so I have nothing to worry about.

My husband once told me that no man is "friends" with a woman unless he wants sex. I use to think that was a rude thing to say and I wanted to believe that my male friends liked me because I was fun or whatever (my personality) But I have found that every male "friend" I ever thought I had in life has tried to have sex with me and once you turn them down they aren't really your friend anymore. So perhaps there is truth in what my husband said. So if your boyfriend has a female friend, using that logic, then he is trying to have sex with her.

I do not think "he is trying to get sex with her"
because he has YOU!

I think SHE is trying to get him!!!!

Ttrust him, but not HER!!!!

Do not allow it.
Talk to him, and tell him all the tricks that women try on men to get his attention and friendship. Shw can be an energy vampire, they always go to good and innocent men.

What is an "energy vampire" ?????

No it isnt!!
I have checked this and it is real!
Yuck!
BS-You are no Xtian friend of mine!

In either case (Man or Woman). You have to ask yourself why you want to have friends of the opposite sex.

Especially if you are prepared to fight your significant other over having friends of the opposite sex. What is it that makes it worth fighting for, and potentially ending your relationship over.


Straight up...
I have had "woman" friends in the past, but ultimately every single one of those has reached the point of "do her" or walk away from the "friendship".

My wife and I both do not have any face book or other similar on-line accounts. Neither of us have opposite sex friendships beyond, her being friends with my friends and vice versa.

Neither of us have any friendships where the other is not involved to some degree.

These things are just not worth rocking the boat. If I wanted to fight to have an opposite sex friend I would really have to evaluate my relationship with my wife.

Ever herd of a joke when you are a human?

Stop trying to imitate Grace, that's online identity theft. Claiming to be someone else online is a serious offense.

"when i saw those girls in the short skirt with their legs showing i just wanted to nuzzle my nose into their pussy and sniff their snatch up their skirt like a dog LOL."

I don't think this is the kind of joke Jesus would like.

You write many vile things, creature who posts as BS & out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. How you present yourself, is very different to some of your comments Christian. Hot or cold, there are no in between games. Truth is accountable in transparency to self & others.
What are you, whom do you serve, what are your fruits?

Before you start bitching about me just remember who gave you green karma last...lol

Not bitching pointing out the truth. Do I seem as one who cares or can be bought with your karma. My reply is in your karma. Do as you wish. Truth is Truth.

I said it's them or me and left the ball in her court.

That's one of the most retarded things I have ever heard in my life.

LMAO

OP this not an easy question...there are things to consider, like his job, does it require he meet with clients at amy hour...
is he a construction worker who works as many hours as he can?

for in general heck NO should he have ANY female friends.
but that is my opinion
i dont trust other females, so i say no.
unless she is more YOUR friend than his but also his friend...and shes really ugly, that helps.

"when i saw those girls in the short skirt with their legs showing i just wanted to nuzzle my nose into their pussy and sniff their snatch up their skirt like a dog LOL."

What happened to you Brightstarz?
I won't ask for my green karma back if you seek God's forgiveness
We all slip but your tone of voice in your post.....
Are you even a true Christian?
Blessings.

Stop de-railing Graces thread.

My boyfriend has a staggering number of friends, a good portion of whom are women, some of whom are very atractive. It bothers me yes but he assures me they are friends and only friends. Many of them are in relationships too but still. This is who he is though. He likes people, period. I guess it would be weird if he didn't like women as friends if I really think about it. I like men as friends and I'm not attracted to my male friends.

I suggest you not listen to those men who say men are attracted to their female friends. Even if they were, who cares if nothing is going on? We are all attracted to others. I regularly hug male friends in front of my boyfriend and he hugs his female friends. The only time I ever got bothered is because I sensed one of the friends had a newfound "appreciation" for my boyfriend now that he had a girlfriend. Sure I'd prefer that he had none but he had them before he had me and who am I to want him to change his life and friends for me? He loves me, wants to be with me, and sleeps with me every night, not them.

This is all apart of the pop-culture ant-God propaganda. Its not normal behavior and does not create deep husband and wife loving relationships. Thus, it adds another crack into the Family unit breaking down further. ...which is the goal. The offspring of a marriage, children, then grow up and have innate longing to
have a loving spouse but is unable to achieve this because of the lies they have been programmed with.

This sounds weird but it really has to do with the context of said friends.

My SO does not have single female friends, and when there are invites we go as a couple. I have no problem when he helps one of them out with something because I trust him. Not only that he has actually known them longer so if I did have issues with his lady friends I would just have to deal, again depending on the context. If I felt he were to friendly with one of them I would have to decide if I wanted to continue the relationship or not.

I have some single guy friends that I talk to, but don't see that much anymore since I've been in a relationship. My SO doesn't have an issue with them because he feels reassured that there is nothing going on with them. They are just friends.

If people have fits of jealously their first reaction is to internally act on it and go crazy inside their own heads. Fine, do so. If the feelings go away with no proof of a betrayal be thankful you had enough self control to not bring it up.

If it seems like there is something going on and there's proof definitely say something.