OP - Check out Paul Washer on YouTube, he's right up your alley. For me he's a serious dose of humility. But Pastor Dave Stein has a great sermon how Mephibosheth grandson of Saul was treated by David whom he thought had hated him and wished him such ill and the parallels that it pertains to us and that God does not wish us such ill and Jesus came to redeem us as David did to Mephibosheth. Check out