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I feel terrible

 
RivyRivs
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User ID: 40646922
United States
03/05/2014 09:34 PM
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I feel terrible
My brother just turned 17 today and myself, our parents and grandparents went out to eat at a nice Italian place. We all had a great time but when I think about it I get too sad. I'm 3 years older than my brother and go to college while he's a junior at high school. I'm in a frat, have a wonderful girlfriend, study hard, and have a lot of great friends that I've known for many years. My brother however doesn't have any friends. He's the nicest, most loving person you could ever meet and would give you the shirt off his back if you knew you needed it. At a younger age I always used to pick on him and call him names, but naturally that's what all older brothers do. My brother loves video games and gets a little anti social here and there which is a reason that he has a hard time making friends. He's not mentally unstable or born with any disabilities, he's just different and likes old school things that other people wouldn't understand. Coming from an old school italian background, we were all raised tough but with loving parents that would go anything to make us happy. My brother would get picked on here and there but wouldn't tell me. He'd go on xbox live and get ridiculed by his classmates until it got to the point when he would be in tears. My brother stood up for himself his freshman year when this little kid picked on him for the last time. He ended up putting the little bastard in a choke hold and ended up being suspended for a day. What ticks me of worst of all is that all the time the most honest, loving, and respectful kids don't get what they deserve anymore. Today I looked up and saw a birthday cake with just him next to it. I get so fucking mad that it puts me in tears. I wish there was a way where he could wake up and have more than just family by his side. It's true what they say, family is infact all you need and will always be there for you, but having good friends and being social molds you into a person you will always be happy with.

I'm posting this because I love my brother very much and I don't want it to be too late where he's all by himself. Ill admit that I wasn't the best brother I could have been, but since I'm more mature and can address my wrong doings maybe I can help when there's still time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45595542
United States
03/05/2014 09:52 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
Yep make cookies, take your mind off it.
Sinclair

User ID: 49801954
United States
03/05/2014 09:54 PM

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Re: I feel terrible
Your brother is lucky to have you. The fact that you created this thread and speak the way you do says a lot. You will be a great friend to him. Do not undervalue that.

We can never go back, however we can fix things from the past on our journey into the future. This is the path on which you will make up for the wrongs you feel you have done. There is still time my friend.

I understand the anger you feel about how the world treats the kindest of us. I feel it too. That is righteous anger. It is not a bad thing, just be sure to control it. Do not let it turn you bitter.

In respect to your brother, the most important thing he could have, he already does. A loyal person standing beside him in this struggle. That person is you.

Blessings to you and your brother. You sound like the type of people this world needs.

Last Edited by Sinclair on 03/05/2014 09:55 PM
Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 54957825
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03/05/2014 09:55 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
You almost made me cry there for a minute. (: I'm in your shoes too man. I'm 20, wih two younger bros 16 and 12. I used to be mean to them too. Now looking at them or talking to them and knowing how I treated them, it makes me want to cry. The 16 yr old is social like yourself and the 12 yr old is the one that sounds just like your bro. Loves old stuff and has no friends and gets picked on by his own dad and the 16 yr old. Pisses me off all the time bc I'm now married and live in another state and feel like he is helpless. I know that the only way to support him and makeup for my wrongs is to just be there for him and my other bro to the best of my ability. You feel as though you wish you could do more but in the end when they need you and you do what you can for them, even if it's just listening, that's the best we can do. They now look up to my husband and I bc our own parent's lack in being there at all for them. Be the moral teacher for them. Share with the your best advice, be honest, understanding, put yourself into their shoes.. If I could I would take them in in a heartbeat but we can't afford it or else we would. I have told both of them though that when they turn 18 that they can come live with us. Brothers are awesome. You never know how much they mean to you until you grow up and move out. Then, lol, you feel terrible (; I'm sure they know how much we love them though. Godspeed and Courage OP. Take care!!

hugs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16950930
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03/05/2014 10:02 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
Take him out with you places. Teach him the ropes. Maybe he needs some help breaking out of his shell and your place is to initiate that. I know he's under 18 but there are plenty of public places where you can do this.
RivyRivs  (OP)

User ID: 40646922
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03/05/2014 10:11 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
Thanks guys I really appreciate the replies. There's only so much I can personally take . Everyone deserves a birthday with friends and to cherish the memories they all bring. I just get so goddamn mad that I feel useless as a brother. I used to be such a spoiled, rotten, little asshole that wanted everything and gave nothing. I use to treat my parents like shit and no matter how many times my father gave me a smack I never learned until now.

I live off campus and just wish my brother could live with me. He will one day. No matter how the future turns out, I hope my brother never has a birthday alone ever again . I just can't explain how I feel. It's like if i put myself in his situation, that's the only way I can understand. It's the mentality that no one outside your family likes you enough to even come over and say hello or ask how you're feeling. It's just being alone that haunts me.

Waking up every morning and going to the place you hate the most with people that don't appreciate you. That's why people turn sour and evil. It's the fact that no one will take time out of their day to make someone else's better anymore.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 54957825
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03/05/2014 10:18 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
Thanks guys I really appreciate the replies. There's only so much I can personally take . Everyone deserves a birthday with friends and to cherish the memories they all bring. I just get so goddamn mad that I feel useless as a brother. I used to be such a spoiled, rotten, little asshole that wanted everything and gave nothing. I use to treat my parents like shit and no matter how many times my father gave me a smack I never learned until now.

I live off campus and just wish my brother could live with me. He will one day. No matter how the future turns out, I hope my brother never has a birthday alone ever again . I just can't explain how I feel. It's like if i put myself in his situation, that's the only way I can understand. It's the mentality that no one outside your family likes you enough to even come over and say hello or ask how you're feeling. It's just being alone that haunts me.

Waking up every morning and going to the place you hate the most with people that don't appreciate you. That's why people turn sour and evil. It's the fact that no one will take time out of their day to make someone else's better anymore.
 Quoting: RivyRivs

No prob... You got this man. Whatever you feel in your heart is what you should do. Let your conscience guild you. Oh, and I don't know how much you do this but bear hugs are awesome and always give plenty of them (: God bless man...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49538029
New Zealand
03/05/2014 10:21 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
as long as he's got a good bro like you who gets him, it'll be fine. High school wont last froever and he will be a strong and heartfelt young man when he ventures into the world, real people will be attracted to him and he will have developed the strength to be himself no matter what the mass says.

Sounds like a great person :)

Just stick by him <3
Sinclair

User ID: 49801954
United States
03/05/2014 10:23 PM

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Re: I feel terrible
Thanks guys I really appreciate the replies. There's only so much I can personally take . Everyone deserves a birthday with friends and to cherish the memories they all bring. I just get so goddamn mad that I feel useless as a brother. I used to be such a spoiled, rotten, little asshole that wanted everything and gave nothing. I use to treat my parents like shit and no matter how many times my father gave me a smack I never learned until now.

I live off campus and just wish my brother could live with me. He will one day. No matter how the future turns out, I hope my brother never has a birthday alone ever again . I just can't explain how I feel. It's like if i put myself in his situation, that's the only way I can understand. It's the mentality that no one outside your family likes you enough to even come over and say hello or ask how you're feeling. It's just being alone that haunts me.

Waking up every morning and going to the place you hate the most with people that don't appreciate you. That's why people turn sour and evil. It's the fact that no one will take time out of their day to make someone else's better anymore.
 Quoting: RivyRivs


Do not fret too much about the past. As you've said, you've learned now. You've seen the error in your ways. Use what you've learned to make the future you have before you into a past that you're proud of.

If you would like your brother to feel appreciated, show him how much you appreciate him. It will matter, trust me.
Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51326342
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03/05/2014 10:45 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
I would not worry about your brother....he is going to be just fine.
As a matter of fact he is lucky to have a nice family around him....there are many people who are in a far worse state in life and have nobody to fall back on....those are the ones who need your support and prayers
RivyRivs  (OP)

User ID: 40646922
United States
03/05/2014 11:17 PM
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Re: I feel terrible
Hopefully things turn for the better. He's a good person.