Thanks guys I really appreciate the replies. There's only so much I can personally take . Everyone deserves a birthday with friends and to cherish the memories they all bring. I just get so goddamn mad that I feel useless as a brother. I used to be such a spoiled, rotten, little asshole that wanted everything and gave nothing. I use to treat my parents like shit and no matter how many times my father gave me a smack I never learned until now.

I live off campus and just wish my brother could live with me. He will one day. No matter how the future turns out, I hope my brother never has a birthday alone ever again . I just can't explain how I feel. It's like if i put myself in his situation, that's the only way I can understand. It's the mentality that no one outside your family likes you enough to even come over and say hello or ask how you're feeling. It's just being alone that haunts me.

Waking up every morning and going to the place you hate the most with people that don't appreciate you. That's why people turn sour and evil. It's the fact that no one will take time out of their day to make someone else's better anymore.