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Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.

 
Lionhearte
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Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2014 03:44 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Just take it a day at a time....


He wasnt a family member but I had a close friend who was born without functioning kidneys. He had 3 transplants in the time that I knew him , but he just stopped cleaning his stint so he just "gave up"...understandably really. This was almost 2 decades ago and his sister still hasnt recovered from it.



Grief is something you carry with you all of your life if you allow it . It can tear you apart. You just have to think "would this loved one want me to be sad over their passing or would they want me to continue on with my life and be happy".


Easier said than done , sure , but its a good place to start. Best of luck to you friend. Just stay strong....
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2014 03:46 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


Sorry man.
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2014 03:50 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
I haven't had a similar experience, but it brings me hope when I imagine loved ones who have passed watching over me at times. One day we'll be together again and the space between now and then will seem like a mist gone with the sunrise.


I'm sorry for your loss, maybe do something today your mom loved to do-walk trails, feed the birds, cook a special meal, watch a particular movie she liked, go to one of her favorite restaurants..

For what tears you may shed, each one holds its unique memory.

Much love, and best wishes
Lionhearte  (OP)

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07/27/2014 03:50 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Just take it a day at a time....


He wasnt a family member but I had a close friend who was born without functioning kidneys. He had 3 transplants in the time that I knew him , but he just stopped cleaning his stint so he just "gave up"...understandably really. This was almost 2 decades ago and his sister still hasnt recovered from it.



Grief is something you carry with you all of your life if you allow it . It can tear you apart. You just have to think "would this loved one want me to be sad over their passing or would they want me to continue on with my life and be happy".


Easier said than done , sure , but its a good place to start. Best of luck to you friend. Just stay strong....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60520602


I think you're right, they wouldn't want that. I'm sorry about your friend, and even though it was that long ago.. I can understand how his sister would be feeling.

It's strange, we understand and accept they are gone, yet subconsciously our hearts won't accept it. It's that small pain that just hurts because they aren't here.
Anonymous Coward
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Gee. That's young. I mean you. You need to take care of yourself so you don't get it. Drink some baking soda every once in a while. Cancer thrives in acid.
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2014 04:48 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Oh, I feel so sad for you. Sixty is not that old and you lost her so young. I know how feeling your mom being gone just grips your heart.

Leukemia diagnosis at that age is always bad news. It's bad enough for the kids. My nephew had it but he made it well past puberty. We are not all that fortunate. I know a very dear friend of my mother died from it many years ago.

I have to say, I lost my mother seven years ago. We were super close. Our family was not always perfect but I would have gladly died instead of her. It left me feeling like I should have died with her. There were some difficult circumstances with another family member that really screwed me up big.

Anyway, three years is about the bare minimum for the worst of the grief. Seems like it slowly gets better. I do talk to her from time to time in case she's listening wherever she is. Well I know she's in heaven because I had a dream about her with irrefutable proof it was a glimpse of heaven since I learned about some family news that hadn't reached me yet.

It still hits me now and then. My husband and I aren't spring chickens. We still have his mother but I'm afraid it won't be long for her either.

I know how hard it is to look for help and comfort and not find it anywhere. I almost had to yell at God about that at one point...

Yes, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays can be the worst. Not much we can do but go on you know? We really don't have much choice in the matter. Just know that no one can take away the love you shared. Some might say our fates are intertwined, we'll forever be together in spirit.
smackdog

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07/27/2014 04:49 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Oops, I wasn't logged in, I'm smackdog btw.
MrManDude
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
I know your pain.

On March 27th of this year, St. Als hospital in Boise, Idaho killed my Dad. Cause of death; medicinally induced liver failure. They massively over prescribed antibiotics.
Anonymous Coward
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Bummer. My mom died last year on the 5th of July. It was her time to go. My best advice is to realize that everything dies, including you. You have the choice to be what you want about it. You can choose to make it a day of sadness, reflection, relief, hope, whatever you want. I miss my mom, but it was her time. I also believe in reincarnation, so I hope she takes a break for a while and comes back refreshed and with a bit more wisdom.
smackdog

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07/27/2014 04:59 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Death is such a strange thing. Millions going through it, millions suffering beyond sanity over it, grief is inconsolable, yet there isn't any help for you! If one could cure a broken heart, wouldn't that be fabulous? Everything out there seems so superficial, it just doesn't touch it. But I think it's one of those things, we don't have answers for everything in this life. We think we are in control and we are to a certain point feeling like there's a solution for everything, and then we run out! Somebody dies and we just get blind sided. There is no substitute for a mother's love (or a father's). Be glad you had it and pray for the comfort God promised you in the bible. I just pray your heart would be mended and your life would be fulfilled. Amen.
Lionhearte  (OP)

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07/27/2014 05:01 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Oh, I feel so sad for you. Sixty is not that old and you lost her so young. I know how feeling your mom being gone just grips your heart.

Leukemia diagnosis at that age is always bad news. It's bad enough for the kids. My nephew had it but he made it well past puberty. We are not all that fortunate. I know a very dear friend of my mother died from it many years ago.

I have to say, I lost my mother seven years ago. We were super close. Our family was not always perfect but I would have gladly died instead of her. It left me feeling like I should have died with her. There were some difficult circumstances with another family member that really screwed me up big.

Anyway, three years is about the bare minimum for the worst of the grief. Seems like it slowly gets better. I do talk to her from time to time in case she's listening wherever she is. Well I know she's in heaven because I had a dream about her with irrefutable proof it was a glimpse of heaven since I learned about some family news that hadn't reached me yet.

It still hits me now and then. My husband and I aren't spring chickens. We still have his mother but I'm afraid it won't be long for her either.

I know how hard it is to look for help and comfort and not find it anywhere. I almost had to yell at God about that at one point...

Yes, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays can be the worst. Not much we can do but go on you know? We really don't have much choice in the matter. Just know that no one can take away the love you shared. Some might say our fates are intertwined, we'll forever be together in spirit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60157973


Shit, that sounds terrible. I'm sorry. I can imagine there's a long story behind all of that, but I can just assume it hasn't been easy. It never is. Cancer/leukemia are one of the worst ways to go.

And you know, I actually had a similar dream with my mother a few weeks after she passed. So, I can relate to that. If I may ask, what did she look like in your dream?

And hey, I've done my fair share of yelling at God. But you are right, actually. And in a way, it makes us appreciate everything else we have. Stuff like this is necessary.. to help us grow.
Lionhearte  (OP)

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07/27/2014 05:04 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Death is such a strange thing. Millions going through it, millions suffering beyond sanity over it, grief is inconsolable, yet there isn't any help for you! If one could cure a broken heart, wouldn't that be fabulous? Everything out there seems so superficial, it just doesn't touch it. But I think it's one of those things, we don't have answers for everything in this life. We think we are in control and we are to a certain point feeling like there's a solution for everything, and then we run out! Somebody dies and we just get blind sided. There is no substitute for a mother's love (or a father's). Be glad you had it and pray for the comfort God promised you in the bible. I just pray your heart would be mended and your life would be fulfilled. Amen.
 Quoting: smackdog


I never really thought of it like that. Blindsided is right.. To think, we all have to die eventually, some sooner than others, and yet we have absolutely no idea how to handle it. It just.. tears people apart.

I agree with you, though. God bless, and thank you.
smackdog

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07/27/2014 05:21 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Oh, I feel so sad for you. Sixty is not that old and you lost her so young. I know how feeling your mom being gone just grips your heart.

Leukemia diagnosis at that age is always bad news. It's bad enough for the kids. My nephew had it but he made it well past puberty. We are not all that fortunate. I know a very dear friend of my mother died from it many years ago.

I have to say, I lost my mother seven years ago. We were super close. Our family was not always perfect but I would have gladly died instead of her. It left me feeling like I should have died with her. There were some difficult circumstances with another family member that really screwed me up big.

Anyway, three years is about the bare minimum for the worst of the grief. Seems like it slowly gets better. I do talk to her from time to time in case she's listening wherever she is. Well I know she's in heaven because I had a dream about her with irrefutable proof it was a glimpse of heaven since I learned about some family news that hadn't reached me yet.

It still hits me now and then. My husband and I aren't spring chickens. We still have his mother but I'm afraid it won't be long for her either.

I know how hard it is to look for help and comfort and not find it anywhere. I almost had to yell at God about that at one point...

Yes, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays can be the worst. Not much we can do but go on you know? We really don't have much choice in the matter. Just know that no one can take away the love you shared. Some might say our fates are intertwined, we'll forever be together in spirit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60157973


Shit, that sounds terrible. I'm sorry. I can imagine there's a long story behind all of that, but I can just assume it hasn't been easy. It never is. Cancer/leukemia are one of the worst ways to go.

And you know, I actually had a similar dream with my mother a few weeks after she passed. So, I can relate to that. If I may ask, what did she look like in your dream?

And hey, I've done my fair share of yelling at God. But you are right, actually. And in a way, it makes us appreciate everything else we have. Stuff like this is necessary.. to help us grow.
 Quoting: Lionhearte



About the dream, the funny thing is I did not see her face. I heard her voice, talking loud and laughing with some other women like they were old friends.

She mentioned someone's passing who could only have been my cousin. I was yet to hear about that and I didn't realize until later who she was talking about. And she didn't say it like she was deceased. She said "it's too bad what happened to so and so (I couldn't recall the name)". But she then said "she was just the nicest lady". She always described this cousin like that in life.

At the time I had no idea who she was talking about.

Funny thing is I come into this dream and I'm looking down on a banquet room with a big table with places set as if for a big banquet. The table appears to rap around this giant room below.

I heard my mother and sort of floated around this balcony looking down so I could see her (because my God we want to see our Mom!). This place was made of huge wood beams. In each direction the halls stretched forever.

When I got around to the other side looking down from this sort of second floor (which I could only describe as God's house: that too occurred to me later on), I saw a group of ladies around a book at the head table.

The Book of Life maybe? The guest list for the banquet.

It was as if they were expecting all these people to come to this huge banquet. My mother was sitting down surrounded by several ladies. One with her back to me I'm thinking who must have been my aunt who passed.

I couldn't see her because she was surrounded.

Anyway, my mother was the peak of happiness, like she was totally in her element the way she spoke. And I remember at each place setting there was a pie, maybe cherry? With one piece missing. I can only interpret that to mean the best is yet to come.
Anonymous Coward
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


Lost my mom unexpectedly when I was 20 years old... I think she would have been around the same age as your mom, or close to it.

hf

Your outlook will get better & improve over time... Yes it takes time... My advice is to direct your conscious energy to exploring the non-physical nature of existence (some may call that spirituality). Engaging in contemplation, reflection, introspection on this subject matter. The more you adopt an awareness for the non-physical nature of existence and the more you shed your identification with your physical body - the less threatening the 'death' process will be perceived by you...

Thread: Continuity of Consciousness / The Near-Death Experience (Dr. Pim Van Lommel)
Keep Smiling

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07/27/2014 05:26 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
hugs
smackdog

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07/27/2014 05:32 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
I think Adnehonic is right. Look for the beauty in life and nourish your spirit. That is what we are at our core. And reach out to make some new happy memories. Wherever that leads you...
linda***

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07/27/2014 11:31 AM

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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


Today my mom would have been 75. She passed may 7th this year. I miss her terribly.
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2014 11:37 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
I also lost my mom to cancer. About the same age as your mom. The only thing thats helped is time. I really miss her but you must move on. The world keeps spinning and you are a big part of it. Good luck hf
Anonymous Coward
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Oops I fogot to say happy birthday ops mom
Carol B.
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
My sincere condolences, OP.

taillove
Sumsum
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07/27/2014 11:45 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Im sorry about your mum!!
Full support and big hugs for you!

hugs hugs
Martin Farbles

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07/27/2014 11:57 AM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


I would like to give my deepest sympathy and love to you. I can relate 100% to your story. My mother passed in 2009 unexpectedly without illness. I never was able to say goodbye. I am not the same since she passed and the pain has not gone away. I don't believe time heels. I wish you the best and know you are not alone.verysad
I believe you believe this is important
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2014 12:02 PM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


too_sadhugs
Mickeyblue
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07/27/2014 12:09 PM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
It will always hurt but you will deal with it.
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2014 12:15 PM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


I lost my husband to cancer on July 25 2000.
Even after that long I struggle with the date.
I always miss him but that one day seems to be
a lot worse for me.He was terminal before he was
diagnosed and lived less than 6 months from the
time we found out.
Sorry about your mother OP.It gets better but we never stop missing them.
pimperish pimpleton
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07/27/2014 12:21 PM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
My condolenses go out to you,just believe that she is still with you stronger than before!!!
Earth Daughter

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07/27/2014 12:23 PM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
I'm sorry, OP. hf I lost my mom back in 1998, so all I can tell you is that it will get better with time.

I know there are times I still think of her and wish I can share some news with her. And, actually, I feel like when you do think of them, they are there, listening to you and watching over you.

I'll share something I haven't told anyone yet. I just recently had a dream that I was speaking to her. It was near morning and I was entering that half-awake half-asleep state. I remember I was still talking to her in my dream and I said, "I wish you could really hear me." Then, a gust of wind came over me, blowing my hair around on the bed. The wind lasted for a good twenty seconds as I opened my eyes. When it was over, I looked around and all the windows were shut. I think it was my mom's way of telling me that she did hear me.

So, take heart, and know that they are always there when you think of them. Love really never dies.
"Arrows of hate have been shot at me too, but they never hit me, because somehow they belonged to another world, with which I have no connection whatsoever." - Albert Einstein
Anonymous Coward
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


Hello. I am sorry about your mom. It is the separation that is so painful. Take heart...you will see her again. I thought that you might like to see this website on near death experiences. I have experienced the super natural... normal many times in this life(what science says is impossible). Many of them are in for a real surprise when shed the flesh and cross over. I hope that it helps.

[link to www.near-death.com]
Rabid Wolf

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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


Both of my parents passed away. One in 1991, and the other in 2000.

All I can say is, the pain of their loss never got any easier for me. Eventually, I learned to think about the good times we shared more than dwelling on the sadness of the loss of them from my life.

You are certainly not alone in this world, grieving for the loss of a loved one.

Take care OP.
hf
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07/27/2014 12:32 PM
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Re: Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away 3 years ago. It still hurts.
Today, the 27th, is my mom's birthday. She passed away on October 3rd, 2011.

She was diagnosed with Leukemia in '08. Went into remission in '09, but it returned in early 2011.. They said she had a month to live with Chemo. We decided not to do that, and would rather keep her at the house to spend time with her. They told us she wouldn't last a week without chemo.

She passed 7 months later, with the help of prayer, support from family, and a more natural diet (less processed junk food), but in the end, it was her time.

She would've been 63 now.

I just turned 22 on the 23rd, and even after all this time, I still find this last week of July to be the hardest.

Don't know why I'm posting this here on GLP; maybe I just want to reach out to this community.

Any advice? Any similar experiences?
Share your stories, my friends.
 Quoting: Lionhearte


I lost my dad when I was just 20 years old after long battle with cancer. That's 19 years ago in August... Dad was 63 so he'd be 82 by now...





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