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Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!

 
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 09:50 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I think the solution is obvious.

You must build an altar to Mediocracy in your back yard, drug him using over the counter medication, and kill him with a potato peeler.

For the good of mankind of course.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60893892


This is probably the best advice you'll get.

Ever.

Though you may want to swap out the potato peeler with a cheese grater.

pigchef
 Quoting: Devoted Follower 60874380


Ever.

Tried to stab someone with a cheese grater?

Sometimes, success is pure failure.
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 09:51 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
well he wasn't abused. He was however coddled and was never effectively disciplined as a child or pre-teen. So yes, their were mistakes made in his upbringing.
nah-T

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07/29/2014 09:52 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
well he wasn't abused. He was however coddled and was never effectively disciplined as a child or pre-teen. So yes, their were mistakes made in his upbringing.
 Quoting: Sireenie


And that's way easier for you to see instead of the ones that did it.
When you find a piece of shit along side the road and you poke it with a stick, what do you expect to find inside of it, gold?
No, it's just going to stink more.
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 09:53 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Do you consistently attempt to judge, categorize and influence other people?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60893892


I hope she does. More discernment and action would have prevented many sociopaths such as Obama from grasping power.
 Quoting: beeches


Off topic... but since you already went there, you do realize the only people that run for president are sociopathic, don't you? They're either the only ones that are willing to run for president, or they take out the rational minded candidates with the underhanded tactics only a sociopath would use.


And for you, OP, I'm sorry to hear. My best friend when I was little displayed the same sociopathic behavior as we grew up.

I distanced myself from him for years but then spoke to him a bit back in high school.

I told him exactly what I thought of his behavior and why he acts like that. I told him his behavior is going to drive people away and prevent the formation of any real relationships (even though he was always popular with his 'charisma').
It was the first time in his life that I had even seen a sliver of remorse in his face. He went through a depression for a while after that and when I saw him again afterward, he had moderately changed... as much as someone with poor brain circuitry could.
He became more aware of his actions and how others felt about them. While his brain wiring was telling him to not care about others, perhaps he realized that the most personal benefit would be gained by actually trying to care. Regardless of his intention, being honest with him about his condition seemed to produce the best results.

I don't know if that's something you want to put your stepson through, as I doubt it will always work that smoothly(and I'm sure in my friend's mind it wasn't a smooth transition anyway). Also, like I said before, I don't know if his intention ever really changed.... perhaps he just got better at hiding his tendencies - I don't think there's anything we can do about the deepest psychological aspects of a sociopath.
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 09:56 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I don't know if that's something you want to put your stepson through, as I doubt it will always work that smoothly(and I'm sure in my friend's mind it wasn't a smooth transition anyway). Also, like I said before, I don't know if his intention ever really changed.... perhaps he just got better at hiding his tendencies - I don't think there's anything we can do about the deepest psychological aspects of a sociopath.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55734279


Thank you for sharing your experience.

At this point nothing said to him or done to him has worked.

He flat out said he cares about no one but his mom and g'friend, but lies to them ALL the time and steals from his mother big time!
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 09:56 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Attachment disorder?
Do some research . . .
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 09:58 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!

OP, I'm sorry about your situation. does he live in your house? maybe you can encourage him to move out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59432034


Yes he does...he starts his Senior year of HS so he kinda has to stay.

I don't judge, I assess a conclusion based of the facts and evidence presented.

I love the kid to death....but he is most definitely showing ALL the signs of a sociopath/psychopath.

If you knew the extent of thievery, lying, destruction of personal property you would understand more that this isn't a judgement.
 Quoting: eekers



OP, you're stupid! You're dating or married to a man who is the father of child subjected to obvious abuse resulting from the effects of a broken home. Divorcing adults are unbelievably self entered during divorce and almost always badly abuse their children.

Not a sociopath, but an abused child who hasn't been allowed to grow and mature in a healthy manner!!!
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 09:59 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I am a sociopath and BPD. I know exactly what you mean about no conscience lol. There is nothing that you can really do to help as far as I am aware.

I lack empathy and know it.

I could literally shoot someone in the face or stab someone and then sit down and have a burger...

Most people say, well that's what you think, if it actually came to the situation you couldn't do it...

But socipaths know they have it in them... It's not like I can prove it but I know I could easily do it...

But when it comes to animals, I hate when people harm animals. Animals are innocent and do not deserve being killed.

Most every human on this earth has done one bad thing or another which is why it's so easy in my mind to justify the harm/killing.

I lack most emotions that people have. I laugh and enjoy the suffering of most people.

I love manipulation of others.

I have a complete disregard for most people. I am a very quite person because I don't like talking to others because I do not feel the need to be validated by another person's opinions.

When my dog had to be put down I felt immediate sadness, but soon after I accepted it and moved on, but I still deeply miss her. She was my life long friend.

I care for my immediate family and love them to the extreme.

I will probably never have a family because I have a short attention/interest span, so I go from one thing to another, and I lack most emotions.

I know killing is wrong and will never commit murder, simply because the consequence out weighs the risk.

I would kick him out as soon as possible, hell show your hubby this post.

-From a half? sociopath? Maybe full on hahaha
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 09:59 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Op. Please listen if you are for real.


A psychopath an sociopath are two different things and are mutually exclusive.

You cannon have a psychopath and sociopath at the same time. Cannot.

So it's sounds like you don't have a diagnosis.

You need to get a proper diagnosis before doing anything.
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 10:00 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
OP, you're stupid! You're dating or married to a man who is the father of child subjected to obvious abuse resulting from the effects of a broken home. Divorcing adults are unbelievably self entered during divorce and almost always badly abuse their children.

Not a sociopath, but an abused child who hasn't been allowed to grow and mature in a healthy manner!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1575442


Well then he can come live with you since you seem to have all the answers.
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:00 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I'll tell you what the fucking problem is: He was/is being emotionally neglected. Try giving him authentic love and see what happens. He's not a fucking robot.
queenbee
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07/29/2014 10:01 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
i read that there is a technique for young people who seem to have the brain of a socio/pscycho path.

they must be immersed in a school in which there is a directed, consistent, and increasing reward system for good behavior.

it has been shown that punishment does nothing to change one of these people

but, they are seeing changes in the brain for rewards

you could try it at home

catch him being good.

rewards can be candy bars, working up to things like video games etc.
Devoted Follower
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07/29/2014 10:02 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I think the solution is obvious.

You must build an altar to Mediocracy in your back yard, drug him using over the counter medication, and kill him with a potato peeler.

For the good of mankind of course.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60893892


This is probably the best advice you'll get.

Ever.

Though you may want to swap out the potato peeler with a cheese grater.

pigchef
 Quoting: Devoted Follower 60874380


Ever.

Tried to stab someone with a cheese grater?

Sometimes, success is pure failure.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60893892


No, not that I can remember...

...but I did try to drown myself in a bowl of milk once.

I survived but ruined my breakfast.

Such is life.

pigchef
Sungaze_At_Dawn

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07/29/2014 10:02 AM

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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I wonder what happened with his mother, how old he was when she died or left? Does he have free time and was he taught to problem solve himself, or does he have too many structures and activities cherry picked for him?

What about his friends and peers? Does he have a new crowd, any sign of drugs because these things do sometimes cause a change, not usually pot either, but the other kinds. The uppers.

Does he get taken to beach and fishing/camping, nature?

Has he ever been introduced to meditation and then a bargain between video games needing to be offset by meditation. Say 3 sessions a week 30 minutes long, hemisync type binaurals, the reason being. Learning disabilities and wiring disorders are very common and especially higher in boys, and hemisync, also trampolines, cause some rewiring to take place. They form new neuron pathways.

Antisocial or withdrawn and into negative can sometimes be a sign of a major depression as well. You may want to research things that increase dopamine and seratonin, such as sunshine, excercise, AND sAme, 5-HTP, (health food store), and melatonin for night time.

I certainly wouldn't give up on him, but start communicating, asking him questions and encouraging him to start to problem solve too, generate ideas for what he thinks and wants too. And find out what he really wants to do and what makes him happy.

Communication with a boy is not always easy, they can be very much lacking the way to put deeper thoughts into words, their left and right hemispheres are not co-joined as with girls. They're like a computer cut off from the printer, unable to verbalize well. And so they need some understanding, patience and help to nudge things and get communications going. What if, is a good game. And what would make you really happy? And how should we solve this? And get him to help at home, do things, help while shopping, let him put groceries away. Talk about his future, and getting driving liscense.

Music and art are wonderful healers, and a guitar kit that he could make, ie electric guitar kit? Art supplies? Even if he thinks thats not cool, he may think airbrushing is.

If he's been with you for a long time, then remember what made him happy, what he likes, try to understand him from inside his mind and feelings.

Then there is counseling.

Last Edited by Sungaze_At_Dawn on 07/29/2014 10:06 AM
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 10:02 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I'll tell you what the fucking problem is: He was/is being emotionally neglected. Try giving him authentic love and see what happens. He's not a fucking robot.
 Quoting: ..l..Ruby..l..


I have. I have taken him out, given him quality time, accepted all his offers to help....talked to him.

his father has too.


It Doesn't WORK. :-/
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:03 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I don't know if that's something you want to put your stepson through, as I doubt it will always work that smoothly(and I'm sure in my friend's mind it wasn't a smooth transition anyway). Also, like I said before, I don't know if his intention ever really changed.... perhaps he just got better at hiding his tendencies - I don't think there's anything we can do about the deepest psychological aspects of a sociopath.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55734279


Thank you for sharing your experience.

At this point nothing said to him or done to him has worked.

He flat out said he cares about no one but his mom and g'friend, but lies to them ALL the time and steals from his mother big time!
 Quoting: Sireenie


Do you know what his mother thinks of him?
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:03 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
18 year old step son,....bad bad bad....

in doing my research, I am discovering that there is very little you can do with a soul that has no conscience.


Now, how do I talk his father into dealing with this so that the rest of his family are protected?
 Quoting: Sireenie


He is a human alien hybrid. The only thing u can do is recognize nothing can b done but stay away from them. Draw lines he can't b anywhere around u or the rest of your family.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46181201


Elaborate on human-alien hybrid and sociopathy please.
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 10:04 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Thank you all for your advice and personal experience. I have read each and all comments and will share this with his parents.
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:05 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
I'll tell you what the fucking problem is: He was/is being emotionally neglected. Try giving him authentic love and see what happens. He's not a fucking robot.
 Quoting: ..l..Ruby..l..


I have. I have taken him out, given him quality time, accepted all his offers to help....talked to him.

his father has too.


It Doesn't WORK. :-/
 Quoting: Sireenie


Do you consciously put love onto him? Like fully consciously. Doing nice things without real love is fruitless.
Oh Hai

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07/29/2014 10:07 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
There is a way to teach them some empathy. I've seen this happen to a sociopath, it required caring for another life like a dog. Do you have any pets?
 Quoting: nah-T


No, you absolutely have not. I know this well and I will not talk about why, but for fucks sakes, do not let this person near any animal.

Sociopaths and Psychopaths are INCURABLE

Depending on what state you are in, his mere speaking of harming himself or others is enough to commit him and hopefully psychiatrists will instantly recognize these souless people.

DO NOT GET HIM ANY PETs and if you have any HAVE SOMEONE TAKE THEM until he's out.

DO it.
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 10:08 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Do you consciously put love onto him? Like fully consciously. Doing nice things without real love is fruitless.
 Quoting: ..l..Ruby..l..


I did in the beginning; I truly had a genuine interest and affection for the boy. but now, as I'm not his mother, it's hard to like the kid. And at this point after 5 years of this I have to pull away and be nothing more than an observer. I have too.

Last Edited by Sireenie on 07/29/2014 10:08 AM
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:09 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
There is a way to teach them some empathy. I've seen this happen to a sociopath, it required caring for another life like a dog. Do you have any pets?
 Quoting: nah-T


The easiest way is starting to teach him good and bad from the ground up and showing the benefits of being good and how easy it is to be good. You have to try and teach him that it is important to care about people, show him that people are important and having "positive" interactions with them only leads to "positive" results. I promise you that you can show him this if you have the time and he will start to see others as extensions of himself. He needs to learn to love himself properly basically, not destructively. After that he can love others.. as an extension of himself. I hope you read this and it helps.
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 10:10 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
The easiest way is starting to teach him good and bad from the ground up and showing the benefits of being good and how easy it is to be good. You have to try and teach him that it is important to care about people, show him that people are important and having "positive" interactions with them only leads to "positive" results. I promise you that you can show him this if you have the time and he will start to see others as extensions of himself. He needs to learn to love himself properly basically, not destructively. After that he can love others.. as an extension of himself. I hope you read this and it helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2221688


We have done all this. consistently.
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:11 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Is he a sociopath or a psychopath. There is a difference.

If he's a sociopath you need to give him the tools to recognize the benefits of emotional bonds in a logical way.

Example: As a family we are allies. With this, we look out for one another and try to help one another in life. This is a huge benefit, and as such we treat one another with respect and love.

Also, explaining logically cause and effect of actions. Likely, his emotional state is different, but you as a parent need to figure out how he displays emotions, and help him understand other's emotions.

If he is a true sociopath, he needs to create parameters for interactions in society like Sheldon in Big Bang theory.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23764026


Yes yes yes!
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:11 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
The easiest way is starting to teach him good and bad from the ground up and showing the benefits of being good and how easy it is to be good. You have to try and teach him that it is important to care about people, show him that people are important and having "positive" interactions with them only leads to "positive" results. I promise you that you can show him this if you have the time and he will start to see others as extensions of himself. He needs to learn to love himself properly basically, not destructively. After that he can love others.. as an extension of himself. I hope you read this and it helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2221688


We have done all this. consistently.
 Quoting: Sireenie


Well I'm sure the hormones in him aren't helping either...
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:12 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Op sociopaths are not born, but creates when real love bonds are not made. Your partner helped create him, so you better make sure he does not fuck up the rest of his family. If he had to stable loving parents this thread would likely not exist.

I bet your husband or partner was too busy with his own life to be there for his son. You can not fix a sociopath and the best thing to do is remove them from your life. I would leave the husband and him to sort their lives out.

If you stay with this family you will have a life of misery.
Sireenie  (OP)

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07/29/2014 10:16 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Op sociopaths are not born, but creates when real love bonds are not made. Your partner helped create him, so you better make sure he does not fuck up the rest of his family. If he had to stable loving parents this thread would likely not exist.

I bet your husband or partner was too busy with his own life to be there for his son. You can not fix a sociopath and the best thing to do is remove them from your life. I would leave the husband and him to sort their lives out.

If you stay with this family you will have a life of misery.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 54253740


Yes. I've put an expiration date on this relationship in hopes that when he moves out life will be much better. His father is done and realizes that the boy is 18. He's been warned of the consequences of any further stealing.
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2014 10:17 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
Op sociopaths are not born, but creates when real love bonds are not made. Your partner helped create him, so you better make sure he does not fuck up the rest of his family. If he had to stable loving parents this thread would likely not exist.

I bet your husband or partner was too busy with his own life to be there for his son. You can not fix a sociopath and the best thing to do is remove them from your life. I would leave the husband and him to sort their lives out.

If you stay with this family you will have a life of misery.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 54253740


Yes. Raising family means more than putting a roof over their head and food on the table. Parents needs to code emotions and personalities into their children as well. IT'S THEIR FUCKING DUTY TO! Simply don't have kids if you're too immature to do this.
Oh Hai

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07/29/2014 10:17 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
i read that there is a technique for young people who seem to have the brain of a socio/pscycho path.

they must be immersed in a school in which there is a directed, consistent, and increasing reward system for good behavior.

it has been shown that punishment does nothing to change one of these people

but, they are seeing changes in the brain for rewards

you could try it at home

catch him being good.

rewards can be candy bars, working up to things like video games etc.
 Quoting: queenbee 60825729


This works for people with a mental illness, or an ADHD kid. Psychopathy is not a true mental illness, it is an inherent personality disorder or a huge VOID. Look in the eyes, you can even see it.

Look, if he is a sociopath or a psychopath there is NOTHING you can do to TREAT it. It is inherent in them. Same thing as a pedophile. All the therapy and crayons in the world will not help, and if he's threatening violence you can bet there is nothing but void inside. This is not an anger issue, this is a personality issue that absolutely does not respond to treatment.

Containment, yes.

And, they are very adept at reading people and adjusting their interactions and responses to hide and make you not suspect at just the right times. Can be very charming one minute and destructive the next. The PREY on those they perceive as weak. Devoid of compassion or morality-only doing what is advantageous to them. You cannot fix that, you cannot treat that, you will not be successful.

Really, it sounds like you are dealing with a bad seed and their are alot more out there walking around than people realize.
AlphaB

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07/29/2014 10:22 AM
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Re: Wow, so there really is NOTHING you can do in regards to a sociopath!
It goes much beyond that...he's incredibly manipulative, goes out of his way to disrupt our lives, is a pathological liar...lies even about things that are irrelivent <sp>. And just yesterday had found out he thinks of harming or killing.
 Quoting: Sireenie


This sort of puts a different slant on things. "Thoughts" sometimes become actions. In my state you can report cases like this, and they will not disclose who reported it. Of course, he would probably lie to the investigators, so it would depend on how convincing he was, and how perceptive they are.