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My mental breakdown

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 59773772
United States
09/26/2014 04:12 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
Awesome! Wish you would have taken me with you.

Did you go back to school?
Did you go back to your band?
Did you go back to your wife?

In the midst, were you angry?
Were you pondering?
Were you lost?
Can you remember where your head was?
Did you smoke drugs or drink?
Did you visit your family?
Do they recount conversations during that time and do you remember them the same way?
Did you come out of it with a shiny new coat and a bounce in your step, or did you just slowly sort of come back to reality all exhausted and shit?
If you could had a choice, would you choose it or pass?

Maybe now while it's still relatively fresh, you should write everything you remember and everything you experienced in case you forget as time passes but years later have a similar experience or an epiphany that requires you to go back there.
ajk

User ID: 29024587
United States
09/26/2014 04:19 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
All of us who have gone from dreamer to awake in this dream have experienced long depression usually followed by a big collapse and/or suicide attempt.

Once you dig yourself out of this hole you either use the knowledge you gained from this experience to rise above all the sleeping people or you get buried by the undead hands.
 Quoting: George_Washington


I'd say that applies to me too.......lot of depression for a long time now....sometimes verging on collapsing if not outright at times......thoughts of suicide though never attempted....it can be rough. Been trying to rise above as I go along and learn how to survive best I can amongst all the bullshit but it is hard at times.
No one is perfect. A babe before walking will first stumble and fall many times but NEVER gives up until he succeeds.

Always remember, ultimately, to never follow any person's belief. Your relationship with God is between you and God.

If nothing else, remember this: religion = subservience, control and conformity, the same template as EVERY government

"Most believers would kill truth if truth threatened their religion." L. K. Washburn

"This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves." Robert Ingersoll

"If anyone wants to know how God feels, it's a warm light as if the sun is poking through dark clouds and lifting your spirits with pure joy."
Scud

User ID: 63206303
New Zealand
09/26/2014 05:59 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
All of us who have gone from dreamer to awake in this dream have experienced long depression usually followed by a big collapse and/or suicide attempt.

Once you dig yourself out of this hole you either use the knowledge you gained from this experience to rise above all the sleeping people or you get buried by the undead hands.
 Quoting: George_Washington


This reminds me of a warning in Ecclesiastes that is particularly relevant to those that would be drawn to communities like GLP:

"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow"

I have certainly found this to be the case as my eyes have been opened, and I could only continue my journey "down the rabbit hole" in the context of my life in relationship with Jesus Christ.
Go
User ID: 37451562
United States
09/26/2014 06:21 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
Awesome! Wish you would have taken me with you.

Did you go back to school?
Did you go back to your band?
Did you go back to your wife?

In the midst, were you angry?
Were you pondering?
Were you lost?
Can you remember where your head was?
Did you smoke drugs or drink?
Did you visit your family?
Do they recount conversations during that time and do you remember them the same way?
Did you come out of it with a shiny new coat and a bounce in your step, or did you just slowly sort of come back to reality all exhausted and shit?
If you could had a choice, would you choose it or pass?

Maybe now while it's still relatively fresh, you should write everything you remember and everything you experienced in case you forget as time passes but years later have a similar experience or an epiphany that requires you to go back there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59773772


Did you go back to school? NOT YET

Did you go back to your band? SORT OF- THEY REPLACED ME BUT I HAVE PLAYED A FEW FILL IN GIGS WITH THEM SINCE.

Did you go back to your wife? NO, BUT MIGHT (more details below)

In the midst, were you angry? MOSTLY
Were you pondering? EVERY SECOND
Were you lost? VERY
Can you remember where your head was? VERY CONFUSED
Did you smoke drugs or drink? WHEN I COULD AFFORD IT (weed/beer)
Did you visit your family? BRIEFLY
Do they recount conversations during that time and do you remember them the same way? I DONT REMEMBER
Did you come out of it with a shiny new coat and a bounce in your step, or did you just slowly sort of come back to reality all exhausted and shit? SLOWLY, EXHAUSTED AND SHIT
If you could had a choice, would you choose it or pass? BOTH.

I try to live my life with no regrets- for I never fully understand how or when it all fits into the bigger picture. My only real regret is hurting the people I love. They all took it personally, although I pleaded to them that I was going through something I could not explain. My wife was completely surprised. I feel the worst about that. When she demanded an explanation that I just didn't have, I had to be an asshole about it. So I regret hurting her. We are still separated, but not officially divorced. We speak daily now although we now live very, very far away from eachother. We hope to reunite in the future but are focusing on our individual lives at the moment. So we shall see if it's in the cards. Don't have any kids although she wants them ASAP (tick tock tick tock) lol

So yea, I feel as if I'm coming out of the haze now. Landed a decent job, now just tryin to work and get out of the red...
Go
User ID: 37451562
United States
09/26/2014 06:25 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
All of us who have gone from dreamer to awake in this dream have experienced long depression usually followed by a big collapse and/or suicide attempt.

Once you dig yourself out of this hole you either use the knowledge you gained from this experience to rise above all the sleeping people or you get buried by the undead hands.
 Quoting: George_Washington


I'd say that applies to me too.......lot of depression for a long time now....sometimes verging on collapsing if not outright at times......thoughts of suicide though never attempted....it can be rough. Been trying to rise above as I go along and learn how to survive best I can amongst all the bullshit but it is hard at times.
 Quoting: ajk


This^^^

Thanks for everyone who helped out with this thread.

It's given me some new perspectives on my experience.
4thhorseman

User ID: 15383548
United States
09/26/2014 08:17 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
hfhf Hope everything works out Bro..
SICSEMPERTYRANIS
Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
Vi veri universum vivus vici
"There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact".
Arthur Conan Doyle
"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth".
Arthur Conan Doyle
MOLON LABE [link to www.usavsus.info]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37913078
United States
09/26/2014 08:34 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
So about 5 months ago something strange happened to me...

My brain broke.

I quit school with 3 weeks left.
I quit my band.
I left my wife.

I unplugged from the matrix...

Now I'm finally feeling better after months of hell and uncertainty.

I was homeless- sleeping in my car, camping in the woods, living off my years of preps...

I thought at first something or someone had taken over my mind...

I'm still not sure what happened.

My friends and family said they didn't recognize me during this time period.

All I can tell them is that I think I had a mental breakdown.

I feel like I had over stretched myself- I tried to do it all, and one day I woke up and felt that I couldn't do anything.

So what do u think? Mental breakdown or something more sinister?
 Quoting: Go 58535293


From your description it sounds like meltdown.

Do hope you're feeling better . Watch your diet especialy your refined carb intake ( usually processed foods ) and look into some amino acids.


Also, beware of wolves ....in sheeps clothing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63292994
Thailand
09/26/2014 08:36 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
If you need to ask others, then yeah, its a mental issue.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37913078
United States
09/26/2014 09:13 AM
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Re: My mental breakdown
So about 5 months ago something strange happened to me...

My brain broke.

I quit school with 3 weeks left.
I quit my band.
I left my wife.

I unplugged from the matrix...

Now I'm finally feeling better after months of hell and uncertainty.

I was homeless- sleeping in my car, camping in the woods, living off my years of preps...

I thought at first something or someone had taken over my mind...

I'm still not sure what happened.

My friends and family said they didn't recognize me during this time period.

All I can tell them is that I think I had a mental breakdown.

I feel like I had over stretched myself- I tried to do it all, and one day I woke up and felt that I couldn't do anything.

So what do u think? Mental breakdown or something more sinister?
 Quoting: Go 58535293


From your description it sounds like meltdown.

Do hope you're feeling better . Watch your diet especialy your refined carb intake ( usually processed foods ) and look into some amino acids.


Also, beware of wolves ....in sheeps clothing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37913078


Having spent a good deal of time with professional musicians I can say your situatiion is not unusual.

If you are spending a good deal of time with the night life crowd or in studios you may be missing out on the benefits of day light.
I suspect the camping was most beneficial for you as it serves to ground us.
Try to spend some time outdoors each day during the day time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63211039
Croatia
09/26/2014 07:43 PM
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Re: My mental breakdown
Been through this process too. Just got up finally.

It is true that walking barefoot on the grass is benefitial in this situations. Weed helps carry the load, but makes the emotions worse and more pressuring.

Now that you are better, be aware you have a choice, back into the material world, or back into the spiritual. Ideally, paradoxically, we are the ones to merge them both in our lives. Make piece among them.

Follow astrological influences, the energies are so high we cannot resist being drawn in when they decide. This is spreading like a virus. It appears the Earth will awaken. ;)

Best of luck to you brother, you will come out of this stronger, wiser, and more loving, in the end. :)
SteamrolledGobias

User ID: 57782070
United States
09/26/2014 08:04 PM
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Re: My mental breakdown
Been through this process too. Just got up finally.

It is true that walking barefoot on the grass is benefitial in this situations. Weed helps carry the load, but makes the emotions worse and more pressuring.

Now that you are better, be aware you have a choice, back into the material world, or back into the spiritual. Ideally, paradoxically, we are the ones to merge them both in our lives. Make piece among them.

Follow astrological influences, the energies are so high we cannot resist being drawn in when they decide. This is spreading like a virus. It appears the Earth will awaken. ;)

Best of luck to you brother, you will come out of this stronger, wiser, and more loving, in the end. :)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63211039


great post I'd agree with everything

expand on the astrological influences if you have the time
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63211039
Croatia
09/27/2014 12:36 PM
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Re: My mental breakdown
Astrological influences are the one common theme you can use to see what is affecting you. The energies coming into the planet come through different constelations/parts of the universe, then they are transformed by the planets/moon before they come to the surface. Thus, at some periods we have more chance of being challenged by life in specific ways, and in some we have a wind in the back to go up in life.

This is the point of following the Mayan calender for example, it follows similar patterns and tells us what activity is in line with the universe at what time.

The further we go in rising our vibrations, the more we are affected by these energies and easier it will be to recognise their influence.

Of course, the best thing is to follow your own natal chart and transits if you know how, and learn with time. But common squares/trines etc affect us all as well. Realizing these in time lets you relax for you know it is not all of your own doing. There is a rythim and reason for everything that is happening.

I have been told years beforehand what kind of experiences I will have at certain periods, in astonishing detail. Astrology is the most efficient way of getting in touch with your nature and the universe through concious intention. Recognizing things you do wrong and actively reducing them eases the karmic burden and the seriousness of the lessons we go through.

There, my 2 cents
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63211039
Croatia
09/27/2014 12:36 PM
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Re: My mental breakdown
Astrological influences are the one common theme you can use to see what is affecting you. The energies coming into the planet come through different constelations/parts of the universe, then they are transformed by the planets/moon before they come to the surface. Thus, at some periods we have more chance of being challenged by life in specific ways, and in some we have a wind in the back to go up in life.

This is the point of following the Mayan calender for example, it follows similar patterns and tells us what activity is in line with the universe at what time.

The further we go in rising our vibrations, the more we are affected by these energies and easier it will be to recognise their influence.

Of course, the best thing is to follow your own natal chart and transits if you know how, and learn with time. But common squares/trines etc affect us all as well. Realizing these in time lets you relax for you know it is not all of your own doing. There is a rythim and reason for everything that is happening.

I have been told years beforehand what kind of experiences I will have at certain periods, in astonishing detail. Astrology is the most efficient way of getting in touch with your nature and the universe through concious intention. Recognizing things you do wrong and actively reducing them eases the karmic burden and the seriousness of the lessons we go through.

There, my 2 cents
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 48493206
United States
09/27/2014 01:06 PM
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Re: My mental breakdown
OP, mind disclosing your age. I know many that have this meltdown in their early 30's.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63249442
United States
09/27/2014 01:23 PM
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Re: My mental breakdown
Tell us more about your mindset before, during, and after this period of your life... You didn't provide enough info/details to have anyone leave you much feedback....
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


Sorry- I am limited on my phone...

Basically I tried to do it all. Then I felt like nothing I did or was doing mattered. I became apathetic...

I feel like my life was just like Office Space- one day I just said fuck these TPS reports lol
 Quoting: Go 58535293


There was a memo about them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63249442
United States
09/27/2014 01:26 PM
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Re: My mental breakdown
You can always become president





GLP