My mental breakdown

Awesome! Wish you would have taken me with you.

Did you go back to school?
Did you go back to your band?
Did you go back to your wife?

In the midst, were you angry?
Were you pondering?
Were you lost?
Can you remember where your head was?
Did you smoke drugs or drink?
Did you visit your family?
Do they recount conversations during that time and do you remember them the same way?
Did you come out of it with a shiny new coat and a bounce in your step, or did you just slowly sort of come back to reality all exhausted and shit?
If you could had a choice, would you choose it or pass?

Maybe now while it's still relatively fresh, you should write everything you remember and everything you experienced in case you forget as time passes but years later have a similar experience or an epiphany that requires you to go back there.

I'd say that applies to me too.......lot of depression for a long time now....sometimes verging on collapsing if not outright at times......thoughts of suicide though never attempted....it can be rough. Been trying to rise above as I go along and learn how to survive best I can amongst all the bullshit but it is hard at times.

This reminds me of a warning in Ecclesiastes that is particularly relevant to those that would be drawn to communities like GLP:

"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow"

I have certainly found this to be the case as my eyes have been opened, and I could only continue my journey "down the rabbit hole" in the context of my life in relationship with Jesus Christ.

Did you go back to school? NOT YET

Did you go back to your band? SORT OF- THEY REPLACED ME BUT I HAVE PLAYED A FEW FILL IN GIGS WITH THEM SINCE.

Did you go back to your wife? NO, BUT MIGHT (more details below)

In the midst, were you angry? MOSTLY
Were you pondering? EVERY SECOND
Were you lost? VERY
Can you remember where your head was? VERY CONFUSED
Did you smoke drugs or drink? WHEN I COULD AFFORD IT (weed/beer)
Did you visit your family? BRIEFLY
Do they recount conversations during that time and do you remember them the same way? I DONT REMEMBER
Did you come out of it with a shiny new coat and a bounce in your step, or did you just slowly sort of come back to reality all exhausted and shit? SLOWLY, EXHAUSTED AND SHIT
If you could had a choice, would you choose it or pass? BOTH.

I try to live my life with no regrets- for I never fully understand how or when it all fits into the bigger picture. My only real regret is hurting the people I love. They all took it personally, although I pleaded to them that I was going through something I could not explain. My wife was completely surprised. I feel the worst about that. When she demanded an explanation that I just didn't have, I had to be an asshole about it. So I regret hurting her. We are still separated, but not officially divorced. We speak daily now although we now live very, very far away from eachother. We hope to reunite in the future but are focusing on our individual lives at the moment. So we shall see if it's in the cards. Don't have any kids although she wants them ASAP (tick tock tick tock) lol

So yea, I feel as if I'm coming out of the haze now. Landed a decent job, now just tryin to work and get out of the red...

This^^^

Thanks for everyone who helped out with this thread.

It's given me some new perspectives on my experience.

Hope everything works out Bro..

From your description it sounds like meltdown.

Do hope you're feeling better . Watch your diet especialy your refined carb intake ( usually processed foods ) and look into some amino acids.


Also, beware of wolves ....in sheeps clothing.

If you need to ask others, then yeah, its a mental issue.

Having spent a good deal of time with professional musicians I can say your situatiion is not unusual.

If you are spending a good deal of time with the night life crowd or in studios you may be missing out on the benefits of day light.
I suspect the camping was most beneficial for you as it serves to ground us.
Try to spend some time outdoors each day during the day time.

Been through this process too. Just got up finally.

It is true that walking barefoot on the grass is benefitial in this situations. Weed helps carry the load, but makes the emotions worse and more pressuring.

Now that you are better, be aware you have a choice, back into the material world, or back into the spiritual. Ideally, paradoxically, we are the ones to merge them both in our lives. Make piece among them.

Follow astrological influences, the energies are so high we cannot resist being drawn in when they decide. This is spreading like a virus. It appears the Earth will awaken. ;)

Best of luck to you brother, you will come out of this stronger, wiser, and more loving, in the end. :)

great post I'd agree with everything

expand on the astrological influences if you have the time

Astrological influences are the one common theme you can use to see what is affecting you. The energies coming into the planet come through different constelations/parts of the universe, then they are transformed by the planets/moon before they come to the surface. Thus, at some periods we have more chance of being challenged by life in specific ways, and in some we have a wind in the back to go up in life.

This is the point of following the Mayan calender for example, it follows similar patterns and tells us what activity is in line with the universe at what time.

The further we go in rising our vibrations, the more we are affected by these energies and easier it will be to recognise their influence.

Of course, the best thing is to follow your own natal chart and transits if you know how, and learn with time. But common squares/trines etc affect us all as well. Realizing these in time lets you relax for you know it is not all of your own doing. There is a rythim and reason for everything that is happening.

I have been told years beforehand what kind of experiences I will have at certain periods, in astonishing detail. Astrology is the most efficient way of getting in touch with your nature and the universe through concious intention. Recognizing things you do wrong and actively reducing them eases the karmic burden and the seriousness of the lessons we go through.

There, my 2 cents

Astrological influences are the one common theme you can use to see what is affecting you. The energies coming into the planet come through different constelations/parts of the universe, then they are transformed by the planets/moon before they come to the surface. Thus, at some periods we have more chance of being challenged by life in specific ways, and in some we have a wind in the back to go up in life.

This is the point of following the Mayan calender for example, it follows similar patterns and tells us what activity is in line with the universe at what time.

The further we go in rising our vibrations, the more we are affected by these energies and easier it will be to recognise their influence.

Of course, the best thing is to follow your own natal chart and transits if you know how, and learn with time. But common squares/trines etc affect us all as well. Realizing these in time lets you relax for you know it is not all of your own doing. There is a rythim and reason for everything that is happening.

I have been told years beforehand what kind of experiences I will have at certain periods, in astonishing detail. Astrology is the most efficient way of getting in touch with your nature and the universe through concious intention. Recognizing things you do wrong and actively reducing them eases the karmic burden and the seriousness of the lessons we go through.

There, my 2 cents

OP, mind disclosing your age. I know many that have this meltdown in their early 30's.

There was a memo about them.

You can always become president