Thank you everyone for your replies!! Oh my Gosh what wonderful people you all are. The meds that I am on don't really knock me out unless I am very tired. Up until two days ago, I would sleep for 1-2 hours and wake back up. Now I have been going to bed pretty late but sleep a solid 6-7 hours! Sleeping is healing!!
Yes I do have the support of my husband and children. I do not have any family other than a few cousins. My great grandma raised me and she passed in early 2008. My mother is mentally ill and my father is a dead beat. My great grandma took custody of me before I could remember. My husband's family isn't really around. They keep to themselves. So it's basically just us.
Everything is on my husband's shoulders. I feel bad for him but I know he truly loves me. We have been together for 15 years & finally got married in 2012. He has taken the responsibility of raising my daughter (from a previous relationship) since she was 1 yrs. old. My daughter doesn't have a relationship with her father, he is another deadbeat. My daughter calls my hubby dad & loves him so much. We had our son in 2001.
He is working right now to get us money so that we can eat. Before I had my amputation, about a month before, he wasn't feeling so well. He would complain of a sore stomach. He made an appointment and sure enough he has a hernia. At this time he knew I was having surgery soon and wanted me to get taken care of. The doctor said that he had time and could have his surgery sometime in January. But if it started to bother him really bad he would need to have it done right away. The week I had my surgery it began to bother him really bad. I said please get it done & his response was you are more important right now. I feel so bad because I can see him hurting. I hear him late at night throwing up and moaning. Poor thing. We talked about it last night & he was like we are so behind and if I take more time out of work we will be too behind to dig ourselves out. He said he can take the pain :( his plan is to work and get us caught up and then have it done. Pay the bills a little in advance. This is only possible if 1 nothing comes up, 2 if there is work (construction is day to day) and most importantly 3 if he is feeling ok & doesn't rupture it. I can not tell him what to do & there is no changing his mind. I just hope he knows how much I love him and appreciate him - I tell him every day. He is a good man and I am lucky to have him!! I just worry. I wish we had money so that this wouldn't be a problem and he could just get it done now. I pray every night that everything will work out. I try just to have faith!!
I started a a fundraising page & have posted it through FB. It is so that I can get my new leg so that I may be able to run and so all the things that I used to do before. My insurance will only cover the basic day to day leg. It is not the greatest but at least I have insurance. It is also for all associated costs. But unfortunately it has been up for 24 hours and has been shared and not one person has donated :( maybe people will soon. Maybe it is just after Christmas and people can't afford it. I understand. But I am going to need help. I was PM'd by a friend who wants to do a fundraiser for me so maybe that will help. It's a lot to deal with on top of healing. I just try to take it day by day. Writting helps. Getting my story out helps. It may sound ridiculous but I have some huge goals. I want to run the Boston Marathon in 2017. I am also a super fan of the TV ahow Survivor and would love to get on that show. When you go through something as traumatic as this, you must stay strong, have a good positive attitude and set goals, something you work hard for to accomplish!! Ok I think I have written enough lol. Sorry if I just babbled on and on. It is very therapeutic. Thank you everyone for your continued support. {{{{HUGE HUGS}}}} to each and everyone that posts & cares!!!!!