The butterflies are symbollic of an innocent child penetrated from behind. A memory suppressed from your childhood. Your asking if it loved you..a response of a child victimized by someone they trust.
The pink and gray mists...the familiar sprits that were attached to the person who long ago victimized you...and the ending..sleep paralyisis from lying in the same position to long. When we are intimate with others whether willing or not, we are subjected not only to their biologogy and DNA but to the condition their own spirit is in. Intimacy is spiritual. Someone you have been intimate with had spritual familiars that transferred to you and they are now part of your spiritual baggage just like a STD.